What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?

An LGBT queue

If a group of lions is called a pride, what do you call a group of "Karens"?

A complaint.

Why did the kelp attend Pride?

Because it was part of the algae-BT community.

Pride: gets an entire month of celebration

The other 6 deadly sins:

:(

What do you call a straight pride parade?

A traffic jam.

What does a pride of lions do in church?

They prey.

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade?

He had a bison.

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School pride

A woman goes to her doctor complaining of an odd rash on her chest in the shape of a "Y". Upon some further inquiry, the doctor discovers that the woman's husband went to Yale and likes to leave his school sweater on during sex and concludes that the fiction of the sweater is causing the reaction. T...

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“

I said, “This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

Rest in peace Charlie Pride

But at least Charlie Envy, Greed, Sloth, Lust, Gluttony, and Wrath are all still alive.

What do you call a pride pool party?

Alphabet soup

PRIDE Month is the best month for Goodwill

A lot of clothes are leaving the closet

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Me: *swallows pride*

Baby lion: holy shit

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“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,”said reason. “Give it a try,” said the heart,

"You're full of shit" said the bowels.

Why did the straight buffalo dad march in the pride parade? [OC]

To proudly support his Bison.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags

Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy

My wife suggested I should read Pride and Prejudice, but I said no.

I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling it’ll try to lecture me.

An Italian guy is out picking up women in Rome. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive-looking blonde.

They go back to his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while, he climaxes. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So… you finish?”

After a short pause, she replies, “No.”

Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, ...

This year, for pride month

This year, for pride month, my company had "Coming out day." I went into the office and knocked out every person I saw until security dragged me out.

I came out swingin'.

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What Do You Call A Man Who Takes Huge Pride Over The Size Of His Balls ?

Egotesticle

Did you hear about the cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride.

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High School Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed is full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same g...

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I just watched aggressive sex between a group of people that celebrate pride and individuality in 720p

It was HD LGBTQ BDSM

How did the lion feel after becoming a cannibal?

Full of pride.

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The only company to truly care about LGBTQ+ people after pride is PornHub...

...they have a whole section for them all year long

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An extremely wealthy man invited his high school friends to his big estate for a reunion.

Aside from being extremely wealthy, he is also extremely arrogant and prideful. As he welcomed his friends to his house, he gave them a tour of his estate, showing his cars, helicopters, private jets, and even his own yacht, all the while bragging about all his assets and wealth. Finally, at the end...

What did the lion say to his pride before going to church?

"Let us prey"

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We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month

They've been going left for years

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

Oon of Aspay

There was once a town named “Aspay.” This was a small town with a few local businesses, but the pride of the town was its train station. Now, I know a train station seems like a strange thing to take pride in, but this train station was special. For one, it was kept absolutely spotless. It always wa...

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

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Peter Piker

When Peter Piker peeked at Penny,

And peeped her perfect pooper

His peepers paused and then his jaw

Plopped down into a stupor



But he perked up and pressed his luck;

Professed he pined to pipe her

He self-composed and then proposed

While poin...

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A group of kindergarteners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade.

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

“You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

“I went to visit my Nana.”

“No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people word...

I went to a white pride parade the other day.

The floats just kept going around in circles about 200 miles per hour.

No wonder Pride month is in June...

It always comes before the Fall.

People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him

and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday

Fat-Pride movement is the only movement...

Without movement.

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

Why is Medusa not invited to Pride?

Because she likes to Stone Gaze

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

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A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm.

A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm. She came across a church settled near the top of a mountain far away from civilization, and decided to ask for them to lend hospitality to her. A nun greeted her at the entrance when she approached the church, and lead her inside. There, she was g...

My broken heart

Think it's time I told everyone a little bit about me. I was seeing this amazing woman up until last year. Now I absolutely adored this girl, and would do anything for her. But this is a story about how it all went wrong.

A big part of my life was I used to be a harpist. Not to brag, but I co...

A famous car designer...

A famous car designer was about to retire at the age of 64 due to health concerns. For all his life, he had strived for perfection in his craft of designing cars, specifically for Kia. In each of his 32 models, he was instrumental in some innovation or vastly improved function.

He called for ...

A plane was traveling across the Atlantic...

...when there was an explosion from one of the engines.

Pilot: "I'm afraid we're all gonna crash and die because it's just too heavy to keep it in the air."

Despite throwing all unnecessary items from the plane, it still descended rapidly.

Suddenly, a Frenchman stood up and shou...

A man was close to passing and said to his wife "Please answer one final question honestly for me"

"Anything" replied his wife.

The man continued, "We have three sons. Two are fine strapping lads, handsome, tall, strong. They have been the pride of my life. But our third son is so different, he is small, weak, and always ill. Please tell me honestly before I die, is he actually my son...

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During the late thirties the Nazi party hosted a friendly soccer game versus England. The Nazi's star goalkeeper was Hans Bratvender.

Late in the game Hans, overcome with Nationalist pride, turned to face the Chancellor's private box, stood to attention and gave a Nazi salute.

At that moment, the English forward kicked from outside the goal crease, and scored what would be the winning goal.

When asked later to explai...

An experienced mountain guide leads a tourist from the big town trough a narrow cliff.

The tourist annoys the guide with dozends of questions. The guide swallows his pride and paitiently answers all the questions the tourist has. Finally they reach a spot the guide has the tourist on suspense on a long rope.

"Oh it´s deep here" the tourist says.

"Yep, always was" the gui...

My 2 year old just told me his first joke

My 2 year old is eating an apple and asked me: what does the apple say?

Me: I don't know

2 year old: yummy!

I don't know if this is the right place for it but the pride on his face for making me laugh was the best part of my day!

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It’s Thanksgiving Day!

Little Johnny was so excited because family is coming over to celebrate but mom in dad were in their bedroom arguing.
Dad yells “you bitch!
Mom yells back “you bastard!” And stomps downstairs to the kitchen.

Johnny goes into their bedroom afterwards and asks, “Daddy, what does ‘bitch ...

I think I can say, and say with pride,

that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world!

Mark Twain

A tribal chief down on his luck decided to marry off his three daughters

For in those days suitors paid a bridal price, and the chief thought he could live off what his daughters would fetch him, and at the same time ensure that his children would be secure and provided for.

Now, it was a point of rivalry between the girls to see who would fetch the best price amo...

I heard that BBC is making a prequel to Pride and Prejudice that follows the Bennet girls when they hit puberty

It's a period drama.

Lions don't usually cannibalize, because they are proud creatures.

But sometimes they have to swallow their pride.

What's the name of the ceremony where really prideful Hebrews get circumcised?

The Hu-Bris

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Four older gentlemen are out golfing, sharing about their lives and eventually the topic of their children's professional success is brought up. The first guy steps up, hurriedly takes his shot, wiffs the ball off into the woods, and starts walking to find his ball without saying a word...

The second man steps up to take his shot and confidently reports, "My son is doing pretty well. He's just been promoted to manager of the car dealership he works at. In fact, he's doing so well gave the last lady he was seeing a brand new sports car." Then he takes takes a swing and drives the ball ...

My son was born without arms or legs...

For his 18th birthday I carried him to the pub and bought him his first pint.

After holding the glass to his lips and watching him gulp it down, I was amazed to see arms sprout out of his torso!

Shocked, the bartender poured another pint and handed it over to my son, who picked up the ...

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Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...

not many people know the friends characters represent all seven deadly sins

**Phoebe:**

**Joey:**

**Chandler:**

**Monica:**

**The monkey:**

**Rachel:**

**Ross:** pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth.

Mother Superior was curious as why all the nuns were suddenly eager to visit the village bakery.

So she decided to journey from the convent and into town to find out for herself.

When she entered the bakery, the baker greeted her with a big smile.

“Greetings Sister! What can I get for you today?”

“What do you suggest?” She asked.

“Well, this new recipe of mine has ...

A man walks into a book shop in Cardiff.

He asks “can I have *Pride and Prejudice*?”

The man working at the counter says “I’m proud to be Welsh and I hate the English!”

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

What do you call a spirit of pride, entitlement, privilege, and arrogance?

An heir elemental.

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

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Religion is like a penis.

It's fine if you take pride in it, but when you take it out and wave it in our faces, then it becomes a problem.

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

I saw some pride on my street.

The zookeeper told me to stay away from the animals.

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The tale of timmy.

When little Timmy went to school,
and Mastered one to nine,
He thought the other kids were cool,
and every class divine.
He painted shapes in red and blue,
and drew in curves and bends,
and by the time the day was through,
he'd made a hundred friends!
I'm pals...

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

Walk with Pride Laddie

A Scotsman was visiting the U.S. and went to a baseball game. The first batter hit a single and the crowd yelled "Run, run." The second batter hit a double and again the crowd yelled "Run, run."
When the third batter was walked the Scotsman yelled "Run, run Laddie." thinking he was getting t...

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

I pride myself on knowing the difference between your and you're.

So their you have it.

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The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

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If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

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A girl wants to introduce her boyfriend, Maggot, to her parents

Maggot is this big biker dude. He has a leather vest, a bushy beard, and of course his pride and joy: a Harley-Davidson he keeps in pristine condition by polishing the chrome weekly and rubbing the saddle with vasoline whenever it rains.

So, at dinnertime, Maggot arrives at the parents' house...

Why do mathematicians make up for bad war generals?

They only take pride in numbers.

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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Three women who were friends in high school have returned to their hometown to attend their 45th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and there's a lot of one-upmanship going on.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes." and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to...

I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.

Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.

Why should you always bring money to LBGT pride parades?

Trans-action fees

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My teacher always told me, "You should be wary of any kind pride, for it has destroyed so many lives."

He knew what he was talking about, these lions are sure scary as shit.

I'll never read pride & prejudice

I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me

How do you measure pride and accomplishment?

Cents

An old family joke.

A couple have a baby boy. He learned to speak at an early age, and was quickly learning the names of body parts.

The child's grandfather is playing with him, asking him to identify parts of the body.

"Where is your mouth?" The child would touch his lips. "Where is your foot?". The c...

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Three very successful businessmen were sitting in a restaurant and discussed about their sons

First businessman goes to say "my son finished Oxford University, now he has his own company, he's rich and for his best friend's birthday he got him a brand new Lamborghini"


"Wow that's very impressive" they all agree


Second one says "my son, my pride and joy, he opened his ow...

What's the difference between shame and pride?

It depends on where I draw the line.

Walk with Pride

A man moves from Scotland to the US and attends his first baseball game. After a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman  stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent:  "R-r-r-un, yah bloody bahstard.   R-r-run!...

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A gaggle of geese, a pride of lions...

... and here's how we might classify these groups:

- a brat of boys
- a giggle of girls
- a tedium of accountants
- a stitch of doctors
- a whine of losers
- a jerk of politicians
- a stagger of drunks

The king of the Jungle was tired of his lazy pride, so he decided to hold a race of cats to take the winner as his new bride.

Alas, the story doesn't end well, because their children turned out to be a bunch of lion-cheetahs.

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?



How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?

I don't know.

I take pride in the fact that in this day and age, I manage to keep myself in shape...

... Round is a shape, isn't it?

It can be really hard to swallow your pride

But sometimes a lion is just that hungry

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We used to have Charlie Pride, Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs & Stevie Wonder

Now we have no Pride, no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs & it's no fucking Wonder

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