What do you call a group of people waiting to get into a Pride festival?

An LGBT queue

Why did the straight buffalo dad march in the pride parade? [OC]

To proudly support his Bison.

Why did the kelp attend Pride?

Because it was part of the algae-BT community.

PRIDE Month is the best month for Goodwill

A lot of clothes are leaving the closet

On pride month, the trans man spoke about how free he felt after his surgery.

It was like a huge weight off his chest.

Completely misunderstood pride month.

Does anyone want to buy 15 lions?

What do you call a pride pool party?

Alphabet soup

My wife beamed at me with pride and said, “Wow! I never thought our son would go that far!“

I said, “This catapult is amazing! Go get our daughter.”

Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced. “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!” The bartender inquired. “What makes you say that?” Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work..."

"Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

I tried watching LGBT movies to celebrate Pride month

but I need to pay extra for LGBT Plus

I was gonna tell a 'hetero' joke for the last day of pride month....

But I couldn't keep a straight face.

Did you hear about the Pride Parade float that fell over?

Apparently it was top-heavy

what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an organ if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both

pear

Pride Month should be celebrated in September.

As we know, Pride cometh before the Fall.

My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

If a group of lions is called pride, what do you call a group of humans?

Prejudice.

Why is the pride lasting an entire month?

I mean it’s one month straight so it doesn’t really make sense…

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I was going to protest the pride parade...

Butt fuck it.

I keep seeing all these LGBTQ+ Pride signs everywhere.

I ask people what they mean but can never get a straight answer.

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I’m so glad that gay-pride month is over

Now I can have sex with women again.

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Me: *swallows pride*

Baby lion: holy shit

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I dumped a girl right after she took me to her home and showed me all her Nazi pride memorabilia

There were a lot of red flags

A Group Of Kindergarteners Were Trying To Become Accustomed To The First Grade

The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.

"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.

"I went to visit my Nana."

"No, you went to visit your Grandmother. Use big people word...

Why did the buffalo farmer go to the pride parade?

He had a bison.

What did the lion say to his pride before going to church?

"Let us prey"

What do you call allies who color things in rainbows to show support for Pride?

Dye-er Straights!

Now that it's pride month, I finally have the courage to come out as Bi

All bi-myself.

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A German butcher and a Polish butcher started a competition...

...to see who could make the longest continuous chain of sausage links in one hour.

It was a tight competitions; both men take pride in their craft and in their sausage-slinging heritage. The two were neck-in-neck up until the 59th minute, wherein the Polish butcher had a slip of the hand an...

Everybody seems to have read Pride and Prejudice, but I refuse to do it.

I’m too good for it, and I have a feeling that the book is going to lecture me.

So this guy goes to a confectioner... (long)

(A confectioner makes objects out of candy or chocolate, in case you didn't know)

So this guy goes to a confectioner, placing an order for a VW Beetle made from chocolate. Scale, 1:32

"That won't be cheap" the confectioner says. "Money's no issue" the customer replies. "And it'll take ...

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In honor of Norm Macdonald, here is my favorite joke of his.

There was a fella, a little boy in school named Dirty Johnny. He'd always be a hellion in class and the teacher didn't think much of him.

So the teacher has an in-class project, and she says "Now this is what you're gonna do here, class. I want you to stand up, and tell the class a story fro...

So the other day I went to a Pride Festival...

I asked where the Greed, Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath Festivals were and they had no clue.

What do you call a straight pride parade?

A traffic jam.

People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him

and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday

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“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,”said reason. “Give it a try,” said the heart,

"You're full of shit" said the bowels.

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The only company to truly care about LGBTQ+ people after pride is PornHub...

...they have a whole section for them all year long

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An African, an American and an Asian guy get captured by tribals in a jungle.

The tribal chief tells them, “We will only let you go alive if the combined length of your penises adds up to 20 inches.”

The African steps up to the plate, whips out his genitalia and comes out at an impressive 14 inches.

The American goes next. He unzips his pants, sticks it out and...

EA have been hit by ransomware and need to pay up to $7,000,000

Hackers claim they want EA to feel a sense of pride and accomplishment when they finally unlock their information

Get a job

A young man in a small town graduates from high school. His father comes to him that evening and tells him “Son, you’re a man now. You need to start contributing to this household. Go get a job.”

The young man is rightfully concerned. Work prospects in his town are slim. The only jobs availab...

In a confession booth...

ME: I committed all seven deadly sins in 30 minutes.

PRIEST: Wow I gotta hear this.

ME: I was angry and envious at my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and I didn't share.

PRIEST: You forgot pride.

ME: No, Im pretty proud of this.

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What Do You Call A Man Who Takes Huge Pride Over The Size Of His Balls ?

Egotesticle

An Italian guy is out picking up women in Rome. While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive-looking blonde.

They go back to his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while, he climaxes. Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So… you finish?”

After a short pause, she replies, “No.”

Surprised, but pleasantly, he puts out his cigarette, rolls back on top of her, ...

Why don't lions hang out with other species?

**Their pride gets in the way.**

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I just watched aggressive sex between a group of people that celebrate pride and individuality in 720p

It was HD LGBTQ BDSM

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We really shouldn't be surprised that NASCAR banned the Confederate flag and is participating in charity auctions for pride month

They've been going left for years

No wonder Pride month is in June...

It always comes before the Fall.

Why is Medusa not invited to Pride?

Because she likes to Stone Gaze

What was the anthem of Saudi Arabia's first LGBT pride parade?

We Will Rock You.

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My friend self proclaimed that he is the pride of the class

I replied, "no wonder you're the biggest dick'

this literally just happened, he's speechless and I'm proud of myself

If Pride Flags exist; there must be Shame Flags

Which explains the Stars and Bars of the Confederacy

Things that are difficult

Sometimes its hard to swallow your pride.

Unless you are a cannibal lion.

Old woman on her deathbed

An old woman lays dying in the hospital after a long illness as her husband sits beside her. She says, "Darling, I want you to go home and look in my closet and pull down the box on the top shelf. I've been keeping a secret all these years."

The man goes home, pulls down the box and finds tha...

The Robot Family.

It's a big night for XR-573, the patriarch of the robot family. Not only are all three of his sons going to be over for dinner for the first time in years, but all three of them have brand new fiancées! XR-573 and his wife Z7-271 are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their ...

I went to a white pride parade the other day.

The floats just kept going around in circles about 200 miles per hour.

Why is a rainbow the pride flags colors.

Because it’s the first thing you see when the sun comes out.

Fat-Pride movement is the only movement...

Without movement.

An extremely devout man prays to win the lottery

Every morning, meal, and night a devout man prays to win the lottery in order to spread the blessing to the people he knows are in desperate need of help. After years of repeating his prayer he finally passes and is allowed to ask God 1 question.

He faces god and says lord I've lived my life ...

Why do lions stay with their families in June?

Because that's **Pride** Month!

The month after pride month is my other favourite celebration...

Wrath.

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there's a long break in the ledge they can't cross.

"Something for this, I have." Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape. He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda's hovel, t...

At the clothing store where I work, I make it a point of pride to give customers my unvarnished opinion.

One day, when a man emerged from the fitting room, I took one look at him and shook my head.

"No, no," I said. "Those jeans look terrible on you. I'll go get you another pair."

As I walked away, I heard him mumble, "I was trying on the shirt."

Why did the lion cross the savannah?

To get to the other pride.

There was once a rich politician (long)

He had everything you could possibly want: countless wealth, endless land, and a beautiful mansion. But he also had an 18-year-old daughter, and she had not yet found a suitable husband.

To ensure that his daughter would find the right man to marry, he conducted a test. He invited every young...

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An old lion chases a tired rabbit

After being kicked from the pride, the old lion tries to hunt for food. He finds and chases after a rabbit day and night all around the jungle through the old creek and the thick forest finally ending up at the magic temple where a fairy lives. Upon hearing the ruckus she comes out to see both the a...

Frank, Ron, and Steve, all avid golfers, die and meet Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates…

Saint Peter says “Behind these gates is the most beautiful golf course you could ever imagine, all you need is a set of clubs.”

Saint Peter turns to Frank and asks, “How many times did you cheat on your spouse?” Frank, ashamed of himself, answers “About a dozen times.”

“Tsk tsk” mumbl...

What's the name of the ceremony where really prideful Hebrews get circumcised?

The Hu-Bris

I think I can say, and say with pride,

that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than any in the world!

Mark Twain

National Pride Day should be September 21

September 22 is the first day of Autumn, and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.

I heard that BBC is making a prequel to Pride and Prejudice that follows the Bennet girls when they hit puberty

It's a period drama.

What do you call a spirit of pride, entitlement, privilege, and arrogance?

An heir elemental.

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High School Reunion

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma, which showed is full name.

Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name who had been in my high school class some 40-odd years ago. Could this be the same g...

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Peter Piker

When Peter Piker peeked at Penny,

And peeped her perfect pooper

His peepers paused and then his jaw

Plopped down into a stupor



But he perked up and pressed his luck;

Professed he pined to pipe her

He self-composed and then proposed

While poin...

Today I was turned away from an LGBTQ organized event. To think I thought they were inclusive.

This is the last time I take my pack of lions to a pride parade.

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The Japanese-American was a long-time customer at

this Greek restaurant because he had discovered that they made especially tasty fried rice. Each evening he'd come in he would order "flied lice."

This always caused the Greek restaurant owner to nearly roll on the floor with laughter. Sometimes he'd have two or three friends stand nearby ju...

What happened to the cannibalistic lion?

He swallowed his pride

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My grandpa likes to boast that his bodily functions are like clockwork

Now he wasn't always like this so he's been taking extra pride in it:

"everyday I go to sleep at 21 o'clock.then at 5:30 a.m. I take a piss.At 5:45 I have a shit,and at 6 a.m. sharp I wake up."

The EA community team has now provided a feeling of pride and accomplishment to about 520,000 gamers...

By allowing us to Downvote them into Reddit hall of shame

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Mr. and Mrs. Potato had three daughters who were as upstanding as they were lovely. One day the first daughter came home and exclaimed, “I have an announcement to make.”

“And what might that be?” said Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter’s eyes.

“Well,” replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, “I’m getting married!”

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, “Married! That’s wonderful! An...

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If you call a group of lions a pride, and a group of crows a murder; what do you call a group of pedophiles?

The British Parliament

I pride myself on knowing the difference between your and you're.

So their you have it.

My broken heart

Think it's time I told everyone a little bit about me. I was seeing this amazing woman up until last year. Now I absolutely adored this girl, and would do anything for her. But this is a story about how it all went wrong.

A big part of my life was I used to be a harpist. Not to brag, but I co...

Walk with Pride Laddie

A Scotsman was visiting the U.S. and went to a baseball game. The first batter hit a single and the crowd yelled "Run, run." The second batter hit a double and again the crowd yelled "Run, run."
When the third batter was walked the Scotsman yelled "Run, run Laddie." thinking he was getting t...

Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...

Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.

What's the difference between shame and pride?

It depends on where I draw the line.

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

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A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm.

A lone traveler needed to stop and wait out a storm. She came across a church settled near the top of a mountain far away from civilization, and decided to ask for them to lend hospitality to her. A nun greeted her at the entrance when she approached the church, and lead her inside. There, she was g...

I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins.

Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.

Why should you always bring money to LBGT pride parades?

Trans-action fees

I'll never read pride & prejudice

I'm way to good to get into a book that probably goes all preachy on me

A man is having issues with his wifi

As any self-loathing individual would do he calls up his service provider who tell him that they’ll have someone look at the router at 10am the next day.

“Odd, this seems like good customer service” he thought to himself. The next morning he wakes up, grabs a cup of coffee and waits, 10am lea...

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GameStop celebrates Pride and it seems fitting.

GameStop is Pansexual: Fucks everyone without any discrimination.

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Four older gentlemen are out golfing, sharing about their lives and eventually the topic of their children's professional success is brought up. The first guy steps up, hurriedly takes his shot, wiffs the ball off into the woods, and starts walking to find his ball without saying a word...

The second man steps up to take his shot and confidently reports, "My son is doing pretty well. He's just been promoted to manager of the car dealership he works at. In fact, he's doing so well gave the last lady he was seeing a brand new sports car." Then he takes takes a swing and drives the ball ...

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet?



How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words?

I don't know.

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Religion is like a penis.

It's fine if you take pride in it, but when you take it out and wave it in our faces, then it becomes a problem.

Walk with Pride

A man moves from Scotland to the US and attends his first baseball game. After a base hit he hears the fans roaring, "Run! Run!"

The next batter connects heavily with the ball and the Scotsman  stands up and roars with the crowd in his thick accent:  "R-r-r-un, yah bloody bahstard.   R-r-run!...

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The owner of a sex shop, hires a new clerk.

After the owner taught him the basics of running the store, he has to run an errand.

'Could you run the store on your own for a couple of hours, Jeremy?' he asks.

'Sure thing boss!' Jeremy replied, 'don't you worry, I've got this.'

So the boss leaves for his errands, leaving you...

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