UPJOKE
wishpridecomplimentfelicitatepreenplumepraisethankcongratulationsgloatcommendapplaudcongratulationrejoicegreet

Congratulated Jokes

My son was just born and another dad at the nursery congratulated me and said his daughter was born yesterday. He said; maybe they’ll marry each other.

Sure, like my son is going to marry someone twice his age...

It was George the Mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.

At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.

At the fourth house, he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful blonde woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led h...

I congratulated my friend yesterday on his birthday

But then I realized I was a year too late

An 80-year-old man married a 20-year-old girl.

After a year she gave birth in a hospital. The nurse congratulated the fellow. "This is amazing. How do you do it at your age?" He answered, "You've got to keep that old motor running."

The following year she gave birth again. The same nurse said, "You really are amazing. What's the secret?"...

I was in a bar

having a quiet drink after work and noticed this sad-looking guy 2 seats away ordering shot after shot after shot. I asked him if he was ok and he said he’d just got married that morning. I immediately congratulated him but asked why was he so sad. After downing another shot he said that after the ...

British woman in New York pummels a teenager into submission and is congratulated by Royalty

But enough about Ghislaine Maxwell, let us celebrate Emma Raducanu's achievments instead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The teacher walked into the classroom

and gave her fifth grade class a challenge to spell any 12 letter word. One kid raised his hand and the teacher called on him. "M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-I-O-N," he spelt. The whole class laughed and the teacher was quite taken aback, but nevertheless congratulated him as it was a 12 letter word and he did ...

A woman announced that she was pregnant. Everyone congratulated her until she said that it wasn’t a baby, but rather, a joke...

It turned out she had a pun in the oven the whole time

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school

She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later th...

My British friend told me he lost 50 pounds.

He seemed really upset when I congratulated him.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.