If you donate one kidney everyone praises you!

But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling and you lose your job as a surgeon.

Sheesh!

Feet go to heaven first

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. On this particular day, the teacher wanted to ask her class which part of the body went to heaven first. One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think your mind goes to heaven first because you have to have a mind in order to believe in God."
...

A teachers praises one of their students to his mother

"Johnny excels at pretty much every subject and is really eager to learn. Where did he get his amazing thirst for knowledge?"

"Well, it's a combination really. The knowledge is from me, but the thirst is definitely from his father's side."

My dad loves Battlefront 2 and praises EA whenever he plays it.

Should I tell him they made another battlefront 2 recently?

At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence…

Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.”

“Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

Spiderman, Iron-man and Superman decided to check who has the strongest erection

 

Iron-man thinks about Pepper Potts hangs 5-gallon bucket on his shlong and walks 5 yards. Everybody praises him.

 


Spiderman thinks about Gwen Stacy hangs 20-gallon ke...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

English Literature Class

Professor starts the literature class. "Today's lesson is metaphors. A metaphor conceptualizes and exaggerate a big thing into a small creative image. As an example you can say 'The snow is a white blanket' instead of saying that snow is white. Can anyone say a similar metaphor ? "

"Tom Crui...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gentleman on his way to a job interview in Brooklyn breaks the sole of his shoe.

Not wanting to arrive at the interview with a broken shoe, he asks some by-standers where the closest cobbler is.

“You’ll want Olaf Von Gundersen.” says one gentleman. “He isn’t very close by but he’s quick and his prices are just right.”

Having no choice, the man with the broken shoe...

Little Johnny walked into a Bar

Little Johnny walked into a Bar and
aggressively shouted his order to the bar man,
”Please give me half chicken tandoori and then
give everyone half a kilo steak and mutton,
bcoz when I eat, I want everyone to eat!”
Bar man processed his request and gave him
his
meal and everyon...

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