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Concentration Camp Jokes

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In a Nazi concentration camp

The inmates were being led into the gas chamber. One of them slip in front of the door, hit his head and died on the spot, before going inside the gas chamber. And the rest of the inmates were gassed to death too.

They meet each other in heaven and started laughing hysterically about how the ...

If you open a camp to help kids with ADHD

Is it a concentration camp?

What do you call an Italian concentration camp?

A spaghetto.

I don't think holocaust jokes are funny. My grandfather died in a concentration camp.

He was so drunk, he fell off the watchtower.

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Concentration camp, December 24th 1940s

It's Christmas Eve 1940 and there is room full of Jews who are prisoners at a concentration camp. It's the holiday season and The commandant is in a particularly good mood so he goes to the room and opens the door.

"It's Christmas and I'm in a giving mood," he says, " I've decided to let you ...

My grandpa died in a concentration camp.

Poor guy fell out of the guard tower.

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It was Christmas time in the concentration camp..

And the Nazis figured that they would have a bit of fun with the “inmates”.

So they roasted up a huge duck, filled with veggies, plums, sauce and glazed with butter.


They walk in to the yard and place the duck, as the Jews gathered around to see what was going on.

They tol...

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Two Jewish boys were in a concentration camp together...

During their time there they became like brothers and when the war ended, they decided that they should live together as such. Many years go by until one of them wins the lottery.

"I can't believe you won the lottery! What are you going to do with all that money?"

"First, I'll buy us a...

Stop the concentration camp Jokes!

I find them incredibly offensive. My Grandpa died in one of those concentration camps!

Well, thinking about it...maybe he shouldn‘t have drank so much while standing on the watchtower...

Walking into a concentration camp be like

Auschwitz here we go again

A guy says: "My great grandfather died in the concentration camps"

Then he laughs: "He fell from the guard tower"

"Stop telling jokes about this" His friend replies - "My great grandma also died in concentration camps"

"Oh I'm sorry"

"Yeah, some idiot dumbass dude fell on top of her from the guard tower"

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What is it called when an airplane crashes in a Nazi concentration camp?

Nein Eleven

What's the difference between a rehab center and a concentration camp?

One takes addicts out of people, the other takes people out of attics.

(Works best when said out loud)

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An actual joke that was told by Jews during World War II

An SS man says to a Jew in a concentration camp: "You are to be killed today, but I will give you a chance. One of my eyes is a glass eye. If you can guess which one it is, I will give you your life."

The Jew looks at the SS man and says, "The left one, Herr Corporal."

"That is correct...

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These immigrant internment centers are worse than Nazi concentration camps

The concentration camps at least had working showers.

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Hitler was walking through a concentration camp

And he came upon a little girl laying on the ground. He asks how old she is, to which she replies "I turn 8 tomorrow ". Hitler chuckles a little and says "no you don't"

My grandpa let 200 people go from a concentration camp in the holocaust

He was the worst security guard ever

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In 1944 during a prisoner revolt at the Nazi's most infamous concentration camp, an SS guard was burned alive by prisoners in a crematorium oven.

That is what I call the Auschwitzaroo.

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There are multiple prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp

The commandant walks through the line of prisoners and instructs each one to act like a clock. The first prisoner says "tick", the second says "tock", and so on and so forth. However, the last prisoner refuses to make a "tock" sound. The commandant walks up to the prisoner and tells him, (German acc...

What do you get when you cross an orchard with a concentration camp?

apple juice

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I'll never forgive the Nazis for how they treated my granddad in that concentration camp during the war.

Five years he was there on that machine gun tower, and never got a single promotion...

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What did the jew say when he reached the concentration camp?

AU SHWITZ

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During WWII, An Old Man Worked At a Concentration Camp in Poland...

Due to the Nazi's bombing the factory he used to work in. His job was to move straw back and forth, he would take new straw bales shipped in every morning, put the hay in wheelbarrows where prisoners would then bring the wheelbarrows to where it was needed.

Every night, he had to bring the o...

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Two Jews die and wait outside the pearly gates.

While waiting they realise that they both survived the same concentration camp.

After some chatting, one says to the other: "remember that time when the guard pushed you onto the electric fence and you almost died?" A second of silence passes and suddenly they both start laughing hystericall...

True story, I was walking chatting with my buddy telling him I was going to visit a concentration camp on Poland.

He asked me if it was a type of yoga retreat.
(millenials...)

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Bless me father for I have sinned

A man walks into a confession booth.

He says, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."

The priest there says to him, "Speak my child."

The man says, "Well father I lived in Hamburg during the Second World War. The Gestapo was searching for Jews to send to concentration camps, an...

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An old Jewish man is on his deathbed and he calls his wife over to him. "Esther, when we were childhood sweethearts during the war and were captured by the Nazis and put in the concentration camp, you were by my side."

"After the war, when we moved to England, got married and had to work 12 hours a day to pay for a single room, you were by my side."

"Later when my business collapsed and we were again left penniless, you were by my side."

"And now finally, as I prepare to die, you are again by my sid...

I started a camp for kids with ADHD but nobody showed up.

I guess calling it Concentration Camp was a bad idea.

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Why did Hitler blows his brains out?...

Because he saw his gas bill.

Also this joke isn't funny, one of my family members died in a concentration camp.

He went to take a piss and fell out of a tower.

Where do german parents send their ADD kids?

Concentration Camps

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A russian, a jew and a german are at a bar

they talk about their grandfathers war experiences. The russian says: "war for my grandpa was so bad, he was shot on the eastern front fighting germans". Hearing this the jew says: "you think that is bad? my grandfather got killed in a concentration camp...". Seeing that the situation makes him stan...

So I’m trying to open a chain of outdoor, overnight facilities to help children overcome symptoms of ADHD.

Unfortunately I’m having trouble getting the bank to approve a loan for concentration camps.

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Why aren't Jews easily distracted?

because they've been to concentration camp.

My idea of holding a summer vacation school to help kids with severe ADHD failed.

Do you think it's because I called it a "Concentration Camp?"

Joke that has recently become popular in Russia in light of recent protests

- Dad, which concentration camp are we going to?
- Dunno, son, I’m not interested in politics.

We'll call it "The cognitive and behavioral fun time vacation for people with ADHD"

'Cause apparently "concentration camp" isn't politically correct

When I was younger, I had a tough time concentrating in school

My parents told me that if I didn't improve, they would have to send me to Concentration Camp

My kid has Attention Deficit Disorder so I have sent him to a summer camp for kids with ADHD.

It's known as a Concentration Camp.

Last year I was too fat...

And I had to go to fat camp.

This year I couldn't focus, now I have to go to concentration camp.

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)

Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.

Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.

Player...

I started a summer camp for kids with add/adhd to teach them to manage their symptoms.

It didn’t do so well, people kept telling me “Concentration Camp” was a bad name.

My summer camp, which was all about focus and blocking out distractions, did really poorly this year

Apparently no one wants to go to a concentration camp

My sister is fat so they sent her to a weight loss camp....

I have ADHD, so they're sending me to a concentration camp

Why do Germans have such great focus?

I think it's because they used to have concentration camps.

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Hitler was in a meeting with his general, Eichmann.

Eichmann asked, "Fuhrer, what shall we do with all the Jews in the concentration camps?"

Hitler repleid, "I will kill 4 million Jews and 1 bicycle boy!"

Confused, Eichmann asked, "But Fuhrer, why would you kill 1 bicycle boy?"

Hitler answered, "See?! Nobody cares about the Jews!...

I have found a cure for people suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder...

... just send them to concentration camps.

Make up your minds

People complain that kids these days don’t have any attention span, yet they get upset when you send kids to concentration camps. Damn Liberals. Make up your damn minds.

The year is 1945...

The Soviet army is pushing closer to Berlin with each day. As they march closer, they start to find the concentration camps. In one of these camps, a Polish man with a limited knowledge of the Russian language is talking to Russian military officers about the camps, with assistance from a translator...

Today someone at work made a holocaust joke...

Today someone at work made a holocaust joke which I over heard.

I walked over to him and said " you have any idea how offensive it is to tell a holocaust joke?! My grandfather died at a concentration camp over in German, so think before you speak"

He started to apologize and said he...

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My dad just told me his favourite WWII joke and told him I'd share it

During the war in a concentration camp the POWs were made to line up. The first person would say; "Tik" then the person behind him would need to respond with; "Tok" So they did.

It went
"Tik, Tok, tik, Tok, Tik" until the man behind him also said "tik", this made the German officer mad w...

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Hitler captures 5 Jews

In a concentration camp Hitler catches 5 Jews and asks the first one :


~ How many meters high can you jump?


~ 1 meter, he answered as he was trembling.
Hitler gives him one loaf of bread and asks the same question to the second Jew.


~ 2 meters...replies the second...

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An old Jewish man was dying of cancer in his late 80s.

When the time came and he had just few hours left, he was in his bed and asked his wife Marry if she was by his side. She answered “yes darling”.

“Marry do you remember when we were in our teens and the Second World War started, you were by my side.”

“Yes I was” replied Marry

“A...

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