A man wants to enter a club he’s visiting in cuba, but there's a tough looking bouncer that won’t let anyone in.

A cuban man with a large beard walks up to the bouncer, strokes his beard and says...

"I'm with the police." The bouncer lets him in.

Less than a minute later, another cuban man with a large beard walks up to the bouncer, strokes his beard and says,

"I'm with the police."
...

In Jamaica pies cost $4.76, in the Cuba pies cost $3.89, and in Haiti pies cost $3.23.

These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

My girlfriend used to work at an American prison in Cuba.

She’s my Guantanamo Bae.

I had cardiac surgery in Cuba but the doctors weren’t that great.

Half of my heart is in Havana

Shoe Store

When I was young my parents started up a shoe store, which wasn’t overly successful but they made ends meet. Due to various economic pressures they had to outsource labour overseas to China. My father, Bob, could speak Mandarin so always conversed with the manager of the production plant in their na...

What do they call Cuba in a different dimension?

Squara

If a woman from Cuba marries a man from Iceland

Are their children called ice cubes?

A pie costs $2.20 in Jamaica and $1.90 in Cuba.

Does anyone else know the pie rates of the Caribbean?

Why did the former leader of Cuba only sleep with Muslim men?

He liked hearing them say "In Fidel! In Fidel!"

In Cuba, you can get a slice of pie for $2.50. In the Bahamas, you can get one for $3.00.

I guess you could say those were the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

I've just come back from holiday in Cuba with stomach problems.

Doctors think it might be Castro-entiritus.

What do you call motor oil from Cuba?

Fidel Castrol

Apple pie costs 2$ in Cuba

Pumpkin pie costs 3$ in Jamaica

Banana pie costs 2.5$ in Puerto Rico

These are the PieRates of the Caribbean



Did you know that you can get a slice of lemon pie in cuba for $1.50 and in jamaica you can get key lime pie for $1.00?

Those are the pie rates of the carribean.

What do you call a Chinese prison in Cuba?

Wanton-amo bay

They just opened a Gold's Gym in Havana, Cuba

I'd like to see the line for that rowing machine...

Joe wenton vacation to Cuba and asked his best friend to care of his mom and his cat.

After a week in Cuba, Joe gets a call from his friend.

Joe: Hey what's up man, how's everything back home?

Friend: Your cat died.

Joe: What?! You can't just call me and tell me my cat died.

- You could have made a first call and say: "Your cat is stuck in a tree and won'...

Hey, redditors of Cuba

...oh, my bad.

(Late Joke) Islamic State: People who are currently in Cuba,

You are all in Fidel's.

.

Sorry.

After 50 years of failed embargoes and isolation the US has recently unleashed its most obnoxious weapon on Cuba to date…

The American tourist!

Several men were arrested when attempting to smuggle food additives into Cuba

They were dubbed the Pirates of the Carrageenan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Geography of a Woman vs a Man

Between 18 & 22 a woman is like Africa... half discovered, half wild, naturally beautiful with fertile deltas.

Between 23 & 30 a woman is like America... well developed & open to trade, especially for high financed investors.

Between 31 & 45 a woman is like India... ver...

3 presidents in a plane

The President of the United States of Russia and Cuba are in a jet. the American president puts his hand out the window and says I can tell we’re traveling over the United States, the crew in the plane clap and say how do you know that? the American president says well the breeze is just American,...

Why is it customary to drink 8 mojitos a day in Cuba?

It's the Hemming way.

How my grandfather passed his immigration exam

My grandfather arrived in the U.S from Cuba in 1969 and he loved telling us about how proud he was to become a U.S. citizen and how he was able to pass the immigration test despite knowing very little English.



Story goes: He sits down with the immigration official who was having a ve...

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

I’ve always wondered about the price of pies around the world

In the Bahamas they’re $9 a pie.
In Jamaica they’re $8 a pie.
In Cuba they’re $7 a pie.



And those are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

A Cuban man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all in a plane.

The pilot comes to the back and says "the plane is going down, we need to lose as much weight as possible."

The Cuban man throws a crate of cigars off the plane and says "we have plenty of those in Cuba, I won't miss them."

The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explain...

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and a lawyer are riding together on a train.

The Russian takes a bottle of the best vodka out of his pack, pours some into a glass, drinks it, and says: "In Russia, we have the best vodka in the world \- nowhere in the world, you can find Vodka as good as the one we produce in Ukraine. And we have so much of it, that we can just throw it away....

An apple pie costs $7,95 in Jamaica,

In Cuba you will have to pay $9,90,

Whereas in Barbados you will only spend $4,50

These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

While watching Olympic kayaking, I was surprised at how bad the Cuban team was at paddling. Then I realized,

That's probably why they're still in Cuba.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Policeman & The Hispanic

It’s around the holiday season and Bob the policeman is scheduled to work. He decides to set up a speed trap at his favorite roadway in Arkansas.

It’s been a few hours and Bob hasn’t seen a single driver. Just then, suddenly a pickup truck flies past him doing well over double the speed limit...

A man is convinced that his wife is seeing other men.

He questions her about it, and she denies her guilt, but he is adamant that he will catch her. A few days later the man goes off to work, and as soon as he leaves, her current lover slips in the back door. The man doesn't notice that when he took off his jacket, one of his cigars fell out of his poc...

Two twins were separated at birth

One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Longish literary-ish joke translated from Russian

Russia in the 1930s. Winter. Poverty. Famine. It's freezing cold. A poorly dressed kid is running across a courtyard with an armful of deadwood, followed by an angry caretaker.

The kid is running and thinking to himself:
>I gotta put an end to this. After all, I come from a nice family,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar... (the apple drinks one)

And he orders a Rum & Coke (Cuba Libre), and the bartender hands him an apple. Confused, he restated he wanted a cocktail, but the bartender insisted. He bites into the apple and yells 'holy shit! this tastes like rum!' 'turn the apple', said the bartender. 'Wow, this side tastes like Coke!'...

What's a 3d shape's favourite country?

Cuba

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American doctor and a Cuban doctor are having drinks...

.. and bragging about how good they are in their fields.

The American doctor says "I can do a kidney transplant in 4 hours."

Cuban doctor says "I got you beat. I can do it in 3."

The American doctor says "I can do open heart surgery in less than 3 hours!"

Cuban doctor say...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Cuban immigrant is dying (NSFW-language)

and he asks his nurse "Please take me back to Cuba, I want to kiss the Cuban flag for one last time before I die". The nurse replies " We can't take you there, but I will get you the next best thing". She pulls down her pants and so it happens that she is wearing underwear with the Cuban flag printe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Food and Country

Yesterday I was so Hungary, I decided to Czech if there was any food.
I was Russian to the fridge, but found only a Turkey full of Greece.
Iran to the store to get some salt, pepper, Chile and Korea-nder, because I was in the mood for some Sweden sour.
I found Iraq of pork chops but there w...

A Russian, a Cuban, an American , and a lawyer share a room on a train...

As they're exchanging stories about their journey across the world, the Russian took out a bottle of fine Russian vodka, pours everyone a cup, then proceed to throw the rest out the window.

The rest of them are very confused and ask why he would throw away such fine vodka.

The Russi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jay-z's mom was coming to town...

Jay-z's mother was coming to town, and she really enjoys her mojitos. Jay-z really wanted to get the finest rum possible so he sent his assistant Richard down to cuba for rum straight from the source. When Beyonce got home, she had the same idea, and mentioned it to Jay z. He said, "don't worry, dic...

Here's a joke the old folks on the Cuban side of my family would always say:

In Cuba, there are only two channels on their tv networks: one channel is just constant government propaganda, and the other channel is a guy staring at the screen telling you to go back to the first channel.

A Plane Full of Americans, French and Cubans Crashes on an Island Full of Cannibals (Cuban Joke)

The cannibals quickly round everyone up and separate them by nationality.

First, they call forward the French. One of the Frenchmen tries to convince the cannibals that instead of cooking them they should try some delicious French cuisine instead. The cannibals let the French prepare a feast ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Like a baby...

A man meets the woman of his dreams! They have all the same interests and just talk for hours. She is very religious and old fashion and askes how he would feel about waiting until they are married to make love for the first time.

He has never met anyone like her, so he says "If that what it ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three businessmen and a lawyer on a train...

There were three businessmen and one lawyer in a train car together. One businessman was from Russia, and one was from Cuba. The other businessman and the lawyer were from the USA.

They were having a fine conversation, enjoying their trip. At one point, the Cuban businessman opened his bag, p...

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