Three Russian men are in the gulag talking with each other.

They get to talking about why there were sent to the gulag.

“I was sent here for coming early to work in the factory. I was accused of trying to put myself ahead of my fellow worker.” The first one said.

“Aye comrad I was sent for being late to work at the factory. I was accused of d...

Two prisoners are talking in a Soviet gulag...

One says: "We're really cut off from the news here. For instance, I never found out the result of the Fischer-Spassky chess match."
The other one replies: "Oh, I lost."

Three political prisoners sit in a gulag prison...

One of the men asks the other, "What are you in for?"

He responds, "I opposed Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first man replies "I supported Comrade Popov in 1938. How about you?" he asks the third man

The third man says "I am Comrade Popov."

Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Soviet communist lies on his death bed, on the verge of death. His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says, "Dimitri, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."

"Oh comrade, it is In the past and all is forgiven" says Dimitri.

The Communist then turns to another friend.

"Petya, remember being sentenced in 1937 to 25 years in the gulag? Well, it was me who went to the NKVD. Please forgive me."

"No more hard feelings, my friend. You are f...

Two Gulag inmates are talking.

A: "What's your sentence?"

B: "Twenty years."

A: "Twenty years? What did you do?"

B: "I did nothing."

A: "Well that is impossible."

B: "Why is it impossible?"

A: "Because you get ten years for doing nothing."

A man is sent to gulag for 20 years

The guards ask: what did you do?

The man replies: Nothing

The guard angrily shouts: Liar! for nothing you get only 5 years

Knock Knock

*Who's there?*

Putin

*Putin who?*

Putin you in the gulag.

A new prisoner arrives at the gulag, and his fellow inmates ask what he was imprisoned for.

""Nothing! They gave me 10 years for nothing!", the new inmate said.

"Oh come on, don't lie to us!", replied the other inmate; "Everyone knows 'for nothing' is only 5 years!"

Nikolia, Sergei, and Alexander are in a Soviet era Gulag together when Sergei asks

Sergei: So what did you two do to end up here?

Alexander: I was always early for work, so the government accused me of espionage and sent me here.

Nikolia: I was always late for work so I had to work later to make up for lost time. The government accused me of sabotage and sent me here...

A man in the USSR is sentenced to ten years in the gulag.

Upon his arrival, he is asked by another prisoner, “How did you get ten years?”

He responds, “I did nothing!”

The prisoner says to him, “Don’t lie to me now! Everyone knows that nothing gets you five years!”

Three Russians are in a gulag...

The first man asks the second, "So, why are you here?"

The second man replies, "I'm here because I criticised the former Premier"

The first man is confused and says, "that's strange; I'm here because I spoke out in *favour* of the former Premier"

They then turn to the third man ...

three prisoners meet in a Gulag in Soviet Russia

Three prisoners meet in a Gulag in Soviet Russia.

They tell each other what are they there for.

The first one says: "In 1930, I made a negative review of comrade Ivanov's work."

The second one says: "In 1930, I made a positive review of comrade Ivanov's work."

The third o...

Two prisoners are talking in a Soviet gulag.

"What did they arrest you for?" asks the first. "Was it a political or a common crime?"

"Of course it was political." says the second prisoner, "I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be repl...

Off to the Gulags

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobb...

A russian man was arrested...

A man in russia was arrested and sentenced to 25yrs in gulag.

He was sentenced 5yrs for saying gorbachev was an idiot, and a 20yr sentence for revealing state secrets.

I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag...

1 year for insulting a political officer,

30 years for revealing a state secret

What would the gulag be called if Stalin went on r/dankmemes?

REEEEEEEEEEE-education

Three men meet in a Soviet gulag.

They ask each other the reason for incarceration.

"I spoke in favour of Fyodor Antonovich.", says the first.

Surprised the second remarks, " I spoke against Fyodor Antonovich."

With a sigh the third one says,"I am Fyodor Antonovich."

3 Russian prisoners in a Gulag discuss their crimes

The first says, "I'm here because I spoke out against Nikolai Yezhov"


The second says, "I'm here because I spoke out in favor of Nikolai Yezhov"


Then, the two of them look at the third and recognize him. The third says, "Yes, it's me--Nikolai Yezhov"

If something won’t work, make it work

Just like the Gulag

A judge in Soviet Russia walks out of a courtroom giggling to himself.

Another judge stops him and asks what's so funny.

"Oh man, I just heard this joke about Comrade Stalin in my courtroom."

"I wan't to hear it" says the second judge.

The first judge says, "No way, I just gave someone 25 years in the gulag for it."

How do russians drink pepsi?

Gulag gualg gualg

You think you can escape Stalin's prison camps?

Hah, gulag with that.

Her: Come over, Joseph!

Stalin: Can't, I'm sending people to gulag

Her: My parents aren't at home

Stalin: I know

You see comrade, there is no I in team.

But there is u in gulag.

Funniest joke I've ever heard

A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.

The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"

The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."

The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."

The judge ...

What do you call an underwater labor camp?

Glug Glug Gulag

why doesn't stalin's plane work?

he left the right wing in the gulag

Journalist asks:

-Comrade Stalin, do you have any hobby?

-I collect jokes about me.

-And how many have you collected so far?

-About two and a half gulags.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The parrot and the KGB

One day in Soviet Russia, a parrot flies over a village squawking loudly: 'The Soviet Union is shit! Death to the Communist Party!'.
The KGB is rapidly informed, and they start to investigate who owns a parrot in the area. They find out that there is only one parrot owner in the area, so they go ...

While we're on the subject of Russian jokes...

Here's one I have heard about the gulag. A little background: many jokesters ended up doing time in Siberia, and obviously couldn't be heard telling jokes while they were there. So, they invented a system where each joke was identified by a designated number.
Let's call [this joke](http://www.red...

Reporters are doing an interview with Gorbachev

Reporter: "So, what have you been up to lately?"


Gorbachev: "I've started collecting political jokes about myself."


Reporter: "That's interesting, how many do you have?"


Gorbachev: "About 5 gulags"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two of my fathers favorite jokes from Russia.

How do 10 American extremists have fun? They take 10 cars and one of them has no breaks. The next day 9 are happy, one is dead.

How do 10 French extremists have fun? They take 10 prostitutes and one of them has Aids. The next day 9 are satisfied, one is sad.

How do 10 Russian extre...

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