Three Russian men are in the gulag talking with each other.

They get to talking about why there were sent to the gulag.

“I was sent here for coming early to work in the factory. I was accused of trying to put myself ahead of my fellow worker.” The first one said.

“Aye comrad I was sent for being late to work at the factory. I was accused of d...

Three inmates are on the train to the gulag.

One of them decides to start a conversation.
“So what did you guys do to end up here? I came to the factory late and they accused me of slowing down the revolution.”

The second man says:
“I arrived at the factory too early and they accused me of trying to rush the revolution.”

T...

A man in the USSR is sentenced to ten years in the gulag.

Upon his arrival, he is asked by another prisoner, “How did you get ten years?”

He responds, “I did nothing!”

The prisoner says to him, “Don’t lie to me now! Everyone knows that nothing gets you five years!”

The Soviet gulags were fairer than the US justice system!

Everyone in the USSR had an equal opportunity to go there whether they committed a crime or not, and that is *fair*!

Nikolia, Sergei, and Alexander are in a Soviet era Gulag together when Sergei asks

Sergei: So what did you two do to end up here?

Alexander: I was always early for work, so the government accused me of espionage and sent me here.

Nikolia: I was always late for work so I had to work later to make up for lost time. The government accused me of sabotage and sent me here...

Three Russians are in a gulag...

The first man asks the second, "So, why are you here?"

The second man replies, "I'm here because I criticised the former Premier"

The first man is confused and says, "that's strange; I'm here because I spoke out in *favour* of the former Premier"

They then turn to the third man ...

Three Russian men are talking in the Gulag.

One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"

The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."

The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accu...

How does Stalin drink water?

Gulag gulag gulag.

A man arrives in a gulag and his fellow prisoners ask how long he's in for, and what crime he committed. He says 'I'm in here for 25 years, but I'm completely innocent'.

The prisoners say 'Don't lie to us! Everyone knows the innocent get 5 years!'

three prisoners meet in a Gulag in Soviet Russia

Three prisoners meet in a Gulag in Soviet Russia.

They tell each other what are they there for.

The first one says: "In 1930, I made a negative review of comrade Ivanov's work."

The second one says: "In 1930, I made a positive review of comrade Ivanov's work."

The third o...

Off to the Gulags

Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobb...

How do russians drink pepsi?

Gulag gualg gualg

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old Russian Communist is on his deathbed.

His friends are gathered around him all somber. The old man turns to one of them and says,

"Vasya, remember in 1921 you were almost executed? Well, you should know that I ratted you out to the Cheka. I hope you forgive me."

"Oh, no worries buddy." says Vasya.

The Communist then ...

In soviet gulag, 2 men are talking

One of them asks, "what did they arrest you for, a common crime, or political crime?" The second man answers "Of course it's political. Im a plumber. They summoned me to the district party to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said 'Hey, this whole system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me 10 ye...

A judge in Soviet Russia walks out of a courtroom giggling to himself.

Another judge stops him and asks what's so funny.

"Oh man, I just heard this joke about Comrade Stalin in my courtroom."

"I wan't to hear it" says the second judge.

The first judge says, "No way, I just gave someone 25 years in the gulag for it."

Three men meet in a Soviet gulag.

They ask each other the reason for incarceration.

"I spoke in favour of Fyodor Antonovich.", says the first.

Surprised the second remarks, " I spoke against Fyodor Antonovich."

With a sigh the third one says,"I am Fyodor Antonovich."

I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag...

1 year for insulting a political officer,

30 years for revealing a state secret

What would the gulag be called if Stalin went on r/dankmemes?

REEEEEEEEEEE-education

3 Russian prisoners in a Gulag discuss their crimes

The first says, "I'm here because I spoke out against Nikolai Yezhov"


The second says, "I'm here because I spoke out in favor of Nikolai Yezhov"


Then, the two of them look at the third and recognize him. The third says, "Yes, it's me--Nikolai Yezhov"

What do you call an underwater labor camp?

Glug Glug Gulag

Stalin's romance

Her: come over,joseph!

Stalin: Can't, I'm sending people to gulag

Her: My parents aren't at home

Stalin: I know

You think you can escape Stalin's prison camps?

Hah, gulag with that.

why doesn't stalin's plane work?

he left the right wing in the gulag

What sound does Stalin make when he drinks?

Gulag Gulag Gulag Gulag

You see comrade, there is no I in team.

But there is u in gulag.

Funniest joke I've ever heard

A Soviet judge exits a courthouse after a trial. He is laughing hysterically as a friend greets him.

The friend asks, "Why are you laughing?"

The judge answers, "I think I just heard the funniest joke I've ever heard."

The friend says, "Come on, tell it to me."

The judge ...

Journalist asks:

-Comrade Stalin, do you have any hobby?

-I collect jokes about me.

-And how many have you collected so far?

-About two and a half gulags.

Reporters are doing an interview with Gorbachev

Reporter: "So, what have you been up to lately?"


Gorbachev: "I've started collecting political jokes about myself."


Reporter: "That's interesting, how many do you have?"


Gorbachev: "About 5 gulags"

While we're on the subject of Russian jokes...

Here's one I have heard about the gulag. A little background: many jokesters ended up doing time in Siberia, and obviously couldn't be heard telling jokes while they were there. So, they invented a system where each joke was identified by a designated number.
Let's call [this joke](http://www.red...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The parrot and the KGB

One day in Soviet Russia, a parrot flies over a village squawking loudly: 'The Soviet Union is shit! Death to the Communist Party!'.
The KGB is rapidly informed, and they start to investigate who owns a parrot in the area. They find out that there is only one parrot owner in the area, so they go ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two of my fathers favorite jokes from Russia.

How do 10 American extremists have fun? They take 10 cars and one of them has no breaks. The next day 9 are happy, one is dead.

How do 10 French extremists have fun? They take 10 prostitutes and one of them has Aids. The next day 9 are satisfied, one is sad.

How do 10 Russian extre...

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