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Dysentery Jokes

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Dysentery.

It’s a shitty way to die.

My brother recently got dysentery and kicked the bucket

That’s why we use a toilet, now.

1848: You Have Died of Dysentery

2018: You Have Died From Having To Pump Your Own Gas

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What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a dysentery prostitute?

The corn husker shucks between fits

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TIL that the Black Prince, Edward of Woodstock, died of dysentery.

That's a shitty way to die.

What did settlers eat when they headed west?

Oregon Trail Mix.

I hope this joke doesn't die of dysentery.

My friend met Terry Crews and made fun of him so Terry beat him to death

The coroner says he died from dysentery

You’re traveling along the Oregon trail and you meet a man named Terry.

One of your party members says, “I thought Terry was a woman’s name.”

That party member immediately dies.

What did they die from?



Dysentery

A Christmas tradition...

It was Christmas eve and Santa was in a really foul mood. The elves were on strike, Mrs. Claus was having one of her snit-fits, and the reindeer had gotten sick with dysentery and were tracking the results everywhere.

Just then, an angel appeared with a Christmas tree. "Hey, Santa! Where shou...

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You decide to get some new water storage tanks for your house out in the countryside.

The plumber doing the installation, some guy called Terry, arrives hours late, completes the job way over schedule and overcharges you, so you give him the finger and pay him in one-cent coins (which you've saved for occasions like this). Terry says nothing and leaves, but unbeknownst to you, he fir...

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A North Pole story of Christmas traditions

It was not shaping up to be a Merry Christmas at the North Pole. Mr. Claus was buttoning his suspenders when an angel popped in out of nowhere, yelling "HEY SANTA!". That caused his fingers to lose grip, and the whole thing snapped him in the eye.

When he got out to the elves, they were all g...

A missionary is treading the dangerous jungle...

He's been walking for weeks and has suffered mosquitoes, mud slides, leeches, dysentery and of course the unbearable heat and humidity. He's exhausted but in a few days he'll reach his destination.

Suddenly, a huge tiger leaps up from the bushes right in front of him. She's clearly hungry and...

A general visits an army hospital to check on the conditions and inspire the troops.

Its WWIII, trench warfare is living hell, and the men could really use some inspiration. The general starts talking to the wounded soldiers.

He goes up to the first man and says: “What brings you in here son?” The soldier replies: “sir, I got dysentery in the trenches, something awful.” The g...

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Magic Cheese

"Your blood pressure and cholesterol are too high for a 30 year old." The Doctor said to David. "You need to lose some weight and soon. You are sweating too much and your stool samples look a little too loose. In fact, you have the early stages of dysentery due to the terrible things you eat. I'm go...

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