This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was on the bus the other day when this young attractive woman started to breastfeed her child. An elderly woman got up and protested saying it was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen and would complain to the bus company...

In hindsight, I really shouldn't have been wanking at the time...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People who get offended when I breastfeed in public can just fuck off.

What I'm doing is natural and strengthens the bond between me and my dog.

A woman was trying to breastfeed her son in a bus

The kid throws a tantrum and refuses to suck on his mother's breast. So in a fit, the mother tells her son, "If you don't want this milk, I'm gonna give this to the gentleman beside us."

An hour later, the kid still refused to breastfeed. So she tells her son again, "If you won't breastfeed, ...

A mother has two babies, and she breastfeed them everyday

During breastfeeding, each baby would suckle on one of her nipples.

One day, one of the baby came up with a scheme to murder his brother, thinking that he would get more milk to himself that way. So, he secretly applied poison to the his brother's "nipple".

Little did he know, his br...

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Why don't Vegans breastfeed their newborns?

Because nobody will have sex with them.

My wife was so angry today. She said that she'll never public breastfeed anymore.

She also told me that she'll do it only after our first child is born.

What do you get when you motorboat a woman who breastfeeds?

A milkshake

I used to drive my infant daughter (who refused to dribk from a bottle) to the hospital where my wife worked as a nurse so she could breastfeed during her lunch break.

I'm no math major, but I'm pretty sure that means that my wife was nursing².

Today my motherly instincts kicked in and I tried to breastfeed a distressed child off the street.

Looking around I couldn't see anyone who would look like the child's parent, but shortly after, another distressed child appeared. I was about to lift my shirt further up to make room for two, but the second child kept her distance and yelled, "Let my husband go, you sick old man!"

This hating of people that breastfeed in public should really stop...

I can raise my cat any way I want to.

Man gets on a bus and sits next to a mother with child...

The mother is trying to get her fussy son to breastfeed, she finally gets frustrated and tells the baby, "You better take to the milk, or I'll give it to this man sitting here..."

She tries a few more minutes, the baby is still just very fussy, she tells the baby again, "You need to start soo...

To the people who say nursing is a woman's job, I agree.

Men can't exactly breastfeed their babies.

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I met a woman today with trees for boobs

I think it would be hard to breastfeed, woodentit?

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby..

The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said,
“Come on sweetie, eat it all up or
I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later, the baby was s...

A mother is breastfeeding her baby on a plane

The captain comes on and says "we're ready for takeoff." The mother wraps her child and herself up. The plane takes off and the mother opens up and begins to breastfeed her child again. Her seatmate turns to her and says "You must have a hungry child." The mother answers "No, I just feed him to ...

Was on the bus earlier today

And got caught staring at this beautiful woman whilst breastfeeding a baby.

She looked me right in the eye and said “you’re a weirdo!”

I asked “why, because I’m staring?”

She said “no, because you’re trying to breastfeed a baby!”

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