William Shakespeare died before completing the final act of his last play.

It was a real tragedy.

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon.

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon: with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."


And then fi...

What is everyone getting for completing No Nut November?

Nuttin'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sailor and an airman were in a base restroom at the same time. Both used the urinals. After completing his business, the sailor zipped up his fly and turned to leave. The airman glowered at him. "In the Air Force, they teach us to wash our hands after using the restroom."

"Oh yeah?" the sailor replied. "Well, in the Navy they teach us not to piss on our hands."

If a doctor takes a hippocratic oath after completing med school, what does a lawyer take after graduating law school?

A hypocritical oath.

After completing my first three months doing MMA I asked my coach for a nickname that reflected my skills and badassery...

Now everybody calls me John Weak.

The two happiest days in a time traveler's life:

The day they complete their time machine and the day they stop themself from completing their time machine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tourist is walking through an isolated village in India

As his walk progresses, his stomach starts to gurgle and his butt puckers like the mouth of an infant who was cruelly given a lemon.

He looks around for a place to privately relieve himself. He sees an outhouse and rushes inside. In the outhouse is just a short divider wall to lean over and...

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