This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sado-masochism

A sadist and a masochist meet and realize they have complementary interests ..

so they get married.

On their wedding night the masochist is rolling in bed saying "Beat Me! Whip Me! Make me write bad checks" !

The sadist says "No"

A nervous man walks into the bar

He goes to the counter and starts eating the nuts. Suddenly he hears a voice say “you’re handsome” coming from the countertop, he looks around to find the source of the voice, but is unable to do so.

He continues eating the nuts when the voice once again says “you have nice hair.”

The ...

A guy walks into a bar ....

He sits on a bar stool waiting for the bartender.
"Nice tie!" He was startled looking around to see would said that to him and there was no one around. "Nice Shoes" he hears and again, looking around to see who said that to him and still no one was around. The bartender finally comes over and ...

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer....

The barman says to the customer 'Sorry, I've got to change the barrel' and disappears into the back.

Whilst he's waiting the man notices a bowl of peanuts on the side and goes to take a handful. Just as he's about to grab them the peanuts suddenly start to speak, 'You're a handsome chap! Have...

A man walks into a bar...

He goes up to the barkeep and orders a beer, the bartender walks out back to refill the kegs. while the man is drinking he hears a voice, 'that's a very nice tie you're wearing' the man looks around wildly and yells to the bartender 'oi! did you say anything?'
the bartender replies, 'no!' sitting...

A guy walks into a bar..

A guy walks into a bar and sees the bar all but empty. The bartender is sitting down leaning his head on his arms, fast asleep.

"Oh, well." the guy thought, and went behind the bar and made himself a beer and sat down, determined to keep a tap and pay the waiter after his rest.

As he s...

So i was in the bar the other day.....

When i started hearing voices saying "nice shoes" and "lovely smile", I started wondering who was saying it so i went to the bartender and said "Mate, do you know who keeps saying nice things to me" He replied "Its the peanuts mate" I replied "Peanuts, What do you mean" The bartender replied "Yea th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Father O’Mally has been preaching

at his church in Ireland for so long, that he decides to take a vacation. He has never been married and he is curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decides to go to the States before it is too late. He hops on the plane bound for Nevada. He arrives in the Airport in Las Veg...

Why was the 40 degree angle so nice to the 50 degree angle?

Because its very complementary!

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