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Lucrative Jokes

My OnlyFans page hasn't been very lucrative

I'm going to have to start a MostlyFans page to increase my clientele.

Cremating can be a lucrative business.

I hear they urn a lot of money.

My uncle recently and suddenly decided to leave his lucrative position at a local bank...

Because he lost interest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend has a lucrative business supplying batteries for sex toys at the coast.

She sells C cells by the sea shore.

A doctor once got rich when he realized he could run a lucrative circumcising clinic by

keeping all the tips

Building grain processing facilities is a lucrative business

I’m hoping to make a mill by the end of the year.

Why is a job at the broken keyboard factory so lucrative?

There's plenty of extra shifts to pick up.

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas…

There was once a very successful farmer from Texas who started gaining interest in his ancestry. After doing some digging, he traced his lineage back to a small town in Ireland. And lo and behold, they were a family of farmers. So he packed his bags and took a trip to Ireland to visit the small town...

Why was Trump's Valentine's Day so lucrative?

He got himself a sugar Vladdy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After seeing the how lucrative the furniture business was becoming in Sweden, and being unable to invade the country due to British blockades, Hitler decided to open up his own furniture store.

He called it Mein Kampfy Couch.

I found a very lucrative deal on the firearms section on Craigslist.

A French MAS36 rifle. Never fired, dropped once.

Darth Vader decides that being a Sith lord isn't lucrative enough....

Too much money funneled into replacement deathstars, storm trooper wages and empire taxes.

He decides that in order to retire comfortably he needs to find a steady well paid job.

He goes out and tries his hand at baking, banking, and various other occupations. Finally he settles on c...

An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest.

He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there."


He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses."


He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern dis...

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A man has 3 women before him that want to be his wife,

So he gives each of them $5,000, and tells them to do whatever they want with it. "What you choose to do shall determine which one of you I marry" he says.

The first woman takes all of her $5,000 and spends it all on clothing, jewelry, lavish spa treatments and the like.

The second wom...

Todd was dirt broke, no skills, and not the brightest bulb in the light-shop.

And to make it worse, his mom was always on his case about getting out and making something of himself. One day, sick of her nagging, he answered a help wanted ad.

“So you think you have what it takes to be a Repo man, Todd?” the interviewer asked.

“Sure, man. I got this.”

But T...

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The Leprechaun Thief

I met a Leprechaun once, in a pub in Ireland. He was just minding his own business when I sat down on the stool next to him and ordered my drink.

"Your favourite Stout, please.", i said to the bartender. The Leprechaun turned his head and sized me up.

"You're a proper lad", he quipped....

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The Three Challenges

**TL;DR:** Jokes don't have TL;DRs.

A man named Andrew walks into a bar, makes his way to the stool and asks the bartender for some Whiskey, on the rocks.

As the bartender serves Andrew his order, his eyes fall on a relatively large jar of money filled with $100 bills. He gets curious...

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Voodoo dick

A married couple is very happy in their life, but the husband took a new very lucrative job that is going to keep him away from home for weeks and possibly months at a time. He loves his wife and understands that she will have certain... needs while he's away, so he tells her, "Take the credit card,...

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered.

Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used.

It is through this entrance that they find a secret passageway, one that is made at...

Enrique Peña Nieto, Malala Yousafzai, and Donald Trump are walking along a beach

It's a bit of an oldie, and I think the last time I heard it, it came off as pretty racist. But I think the current political climate allows me to rehash it better.

Enrique Peña Nieto, who is the Mexican President, is walking along the beach one day with the US President, Donald Trump, and p...

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