UPJOKE
arousestimulatestirprovokeinvigorateturn onenergizerouseagitateinspireenthusethrillquickenshakewind up

Exciting Jokes

A guy was boarding a plane when he heard that the Pope was on the same flight. "This is exciting!" thought the gentleman. "I've always been a big fan of the Pope. Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.” Suddenly, the man realized his seat was right next to the Pope himself!

Still, the gentleman was too shy to speak to His Holiness.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope took a crossword puzzle out of his carry on bag and began penciling in the answers.

"This is fantastic!" the gentleman mused. "I'm really good at crosswords!"

It crossed his mind that if ...

I thought digging tunnels would be exciting…

Turns out it’s boring

Dog's excitement

In a village without electricity supply, there came an exciting announcement that government would soon provide electricity.

Everyone in the village danced with joy. Interestingly, even the street dogs in the village started dancing.
People were puzzled and asked why the dogs were dancin...

A lot of people think the movie "The 5th Element" is exciting

Personally I think it's boron.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Exciting news, I recently broke several new records.

The owner of the record store was kind of a jerk about it though.

Exciting news from the James Webb Telescope...

They have detected a new planet that is almost the size of one of Zelensky's balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We should have a TV show where illegal immigrants hunt down sex offenders for a chance at citizenship

We can call it "Alien vs Predator"

\[EDIT\]: Wow I can't believe the amount of people who would want to make it a reality. *Netflix if your seeing this post you know what to do.*

**If you want, you may follow this post - I may update it in the future if something exciting happens.** <...

Not everyone may think digging tunnels is exciting

Some may even call it boring

Something exciting

The third-grade class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big tits..

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life.

In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex and Golf

Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to first-year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten up the mood.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know...

my friend told me I always focus on the least exciting parts while telling a story

I was so surprised by his words I almost took a wrong turn and screwed up our escape from the police

What's the most exciting job on a construction site?

Riveting

They said that the Super Bowl was going to be exciting.

But that was a LIII.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having sex while camping isn't just exciting...

It's fucking in tents!

Wanna have an exciting night ?

A girl brings a guy home from the club.
Before they enter the house she mentions

Hope it's ok that I live at home with the family...

Yeah it's fine says the guy

They start to kiss and as thing start to heat up the girl says :

Oh BTW did I mention that my father is i...

British archaeologists have issued an exciting new Brexit update today.

By digging 96 feet below the Westminster.

Had a exciting dream last night.

Really kept me on the edge of my pillow.

What starts with M, ends in DMA, and was an exciting surprise at the party?

My Grandma

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend wanted to have sex somewhere exciting

My girlfriend wanted to have sex somewhere exciting.

So I waited until night and told her to get in the car with me and cover her eyes.

I drove for a while and parked then we got in the back seat and starting having sex.

She said "Ooh, this IS exciting! Doing it in the bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

At first I found my girlfriend's kinks exciting but now they're starting to become a bit of a pain in the arse.

Bloody Peggy.

Have you heard the exciting news about corduroy pillowcases?

They’re making headlines all around the country

Job offered: joined the exciting field of TSA

Title: TSA inspections officer

Location: Florida

Starting date: Immediately

Pay: Eventually

A guy asked his crush to prom, and to his surprise, she said yes! The day before prom, he gets ready for the exciting day.

First, he goes to the tuxedo store to rent a tux, there was a huge line and he finally got the tux after 30 minutes. Next, he goes to the flower shop to buy a bouquet of flowers. There was an even longer line and he waited for 60 minutes to finally get the flowers. Finally, he went to the car shop t...

An abacus isn't exciting, but it's reliable.

You can always count on one.

What's the most exciting height to be?

Yay high.


: ^)

What's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease?

Answers:
- You can hide your own Easter eggs
- Everything
- To get to the other side
- You meet new people everyday
- what's the most exciting thing about Alzheimer's disease

The second day of the year is never as exciting as the first.

It's probably something about 1/2.

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences.

Three old timers were relating their most exciting experiences

The first, a retired sheriff, described the terrifying excitement of a shoot-out with Bonnie and Clyde back in his younger days.

The other gents nodded and agreed that, indeed, would have been exciting.

The second, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had sex with Joseph Stalin once it was quite exciting. When I said: "Im coming" He said: "No"

"WE are coming"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife's been telling me lately about how sex is so much more exciting on holiday

It's driving me nuts, she keeps sending me postcards

Just won the most exciting rock papers scissors match I've ever had

The cop said "Papers" I said "scissors" and inmeditaly after that I drove the f#@€ away.
He must have been crazy for a Rematch because he chase me for 10 min!

In an apartment complex, a beautiful woman and three men live

One day, the woman is taking a shower, when one of the men knocks on her door. She recognizes his voice as that of the football player, so she puts on a towel and sees what he wants.

Football player: great news! My team won the game!

Woman: that’s very exciting! Congratulations!
...

All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...

It's giving me a Hadron.

Did you hear that Texas realtors are removing the term "Master Bedroom" from listings because it's now insensitive? Pretty exciting.

In fact, I'm so excited, I think I'll probably head to my regular bedroom now, and Equalhumanbate!

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.