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Coloring Jokes

Look, I'm all for coloring books...

but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between this joke and a nudist soaked in food coloring?

One is nude in dye and the other died in new.

I swallowed some food coloring yesterday

The doctor said I'd be fine, but I feel like I dyed a little inside

Did you hear the tragic story about the man who sat in food coloring?

He dyes in the end.

Breaking News Trump’s personal library just burned down

The fire consumed both books and he hasn’t even finished coloring the second one

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In breaking news, Trump’s personal library has burned down.

The fire consumed both books and in a tragic twist, he hadn’t even finished coloring the second one.





Edit: Wow! Thank you for all of the awards, I didn't anticipate that. Some people need to relax though. This is just a freakin' joke, not the agenda of a movement.

Also,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo

When he’s finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.

When the guns are empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, “Hey! What th...

Marvel Studios is now against hair coloring

In fact, their next film is about a group of people that never dye

What's red and tastes like blue food coloring?

Red food coloring.

Every book is a coloring book if you hate librarians.

Credit: Mitch Hedberg (R.I.P)

Did you hear about the guy who passed away because he consumed too much food coloring?

He dyed.

Went to the doctor the other day after drinking a gallon of food coloring

I was peeing all these funny colors. He diagnosed me with a case of "dye urea".

What do you have when you get an infection from coloring?

The Crayonovirus.

My grandmother was a somnambulist who had recurring dreams of coloring Easter eggs

Conveniently, she dyed in her sleep last week.

My wife accused me of being unsympathetic and not listening, so I bought her a GI Joe coloring book.

Now she'll always have a soldier to crayon.

James Bond is laid off

James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant

"Huh, " said Bond, "you expect me to talk?"

"No Mr Bond, " replied the interviewer, "I expect you to dye. "

Next time I hit the club, I'm coloring myself head to toe with a permanent marker, and that's all I'll wear.

Because every girl's crazy 'bout a Sharpie-dressed man.

Little Johnny’s art projects

Little Johnny’s parents are concerned about the art work he is bringing home from school. All the coloring is brown or black. Could this indicate a mental health problem?

They take him to a psychologist. The psychologist wants to see Johnny at work on art and gives him a sheet of paper a...

What technique does a prisoner use when coloring a picture?

Cell shading.

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