Why don’t Americans spell “color” like “colour?”

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don’t need u.

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

I was recently diagnosed with colour blindness.

It came out of the green.

I've never understood the Navy's colour being Navy blue.

I though they were the aqua-marines.

My least favourite colour is brown.

I hate it more than all the other colours combined.

What's a cats favorite colour?

Purrrrrple.

I just turned down a girl because of the colour of her skin.

Can't be dealing with her terrible fake tan.

Did you hear about the colour-blind fortune teller?

He could only see the fuchsia

What colour did Matthew McConaughey paint his house?

All white, all white, all white.

Why are all of Nelson Mandela's shirts pink?

He refuses to separate the whites from the colours

A university has been accused of not having enough people of colour on their competitive speech recital team.

To tackle the problem they took a bunch of students and covered them in body paint.

They now claim they have achieved their dye varsity quoters.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call having sex on festival of colour?

Holi Fuck.

What do you call a colour that doesn't exist?

A pigment of your imagination

My grandma changed her hair colour while taking a nap...

She dyed peacefully in her sleep

Calling a colour-blind person racist is like calling a deaf person....

It's ironic

Today I got my eye exam and I failed the colour blind test.

It came out of the purple.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why did America remove the U from colour?

because fuck u thats why

Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains?

Because the sun just came out.

Why do The Brit’s still use ‘u’ in words like “colour” and “armour”?

Because Rick Astley is British.

Girl, are you the colour blue?

because 0000FF.

What do they call it when a Chameleon can’t change colour?

Ereptile Dysfunction

What is the colour of the wind?

Blew.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The children began to identify the colours by their colour:

Red -> Raspberry
Yellow -> Lemon
Green -> Lime
Orange -> Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY flavoured candy. None of them could identify the taste.

The teacher said: ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may call your father’

One l...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

England: colour

America: color

England: flavour

America: Flavor

England: Labour

America: Labor

England: what the fuck are you doing?

America: getting rid of u

My friend Craig got me those sunglasses for colourblind people; yesterday I saw colour for the first time.

Turns out, Craig is black.

I was in the library and a black guy asked me where the colour printer is,

I told him, ‘it’s 2018! You can use any printer you want’

I just found out I'm colour blind

The diagnosis came completely out of the green.

(Courtesy of a family member)

A husband buys a dozen of panties of the same colour for his wife.

His wife protests: " Why the same colour, people will think i don't change my panties."

Husband asks" which people?

What colour can you use to start your car?

Khaki

Last night I dreamt in colour

But then I woke up and realised it was a pigment of my imagination

What colour is a bear's socks?

They don't wear socks. They have bear feet.

If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you...

Gingerly

Did you ever realize that the colours on the LGBT flag are actually all straight

Unless it blows?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I fucking hate how everyone is all behind this PC bullshit about different colours nowdays

Macs are normally the same colour and they sell just as well

What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

No...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why do Americans spell it as 'color' and not 'colour'?

Because fuck u that's why.

I love the colour green....

More than blue and yellow combined

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter "u" in words like "favourite" and "colour"?

Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why.

I told my therapist that I was seeing strange colours.

He told me they were just pigments of my imagination.

What did Donald Trump say when he learnt black and white weren’t real colours?

Fake hues

Turquoise is the best colour in the world

It is cyantifically proven

A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella

She notices Jerry colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"

What did the colour-changing lizard say to his significant other?

You're one in chameleon

Where do you go when you're white and caught speeding, then get separated into different colours only to come out bent and totally different to how you came in?

Prism

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour?

Corduroy.

Crows aren’t so smart after all

The South Carolina Dept of Transportation found over 200 dead crows on highways recently, and there was a concern that they may have died from Avian Flu. A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows, and, to everyone's relief, confirmed the problem was NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appear...

What do you call a reposting, colour-changing reptile?

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

My colour blind friend told me there were only two kinds of people in the world.

I told him to stop seeing things in black and white.

If you could have a Dodge Viper or the girl of your dreams, what colour would it be?

Black and blue of course.
...
The girl, not the car.

(Courtesy of my son, the sicko).

According to a recent national poll, American's least favourite colour is...

Brown.

(Poll conducted by the Federal Elections Commission)

Purple is my favorite colour.

I like it more than red and blue combined.

You know how there's a theory that no two people see colour the exact same way, does that mean colour is like...

... a pigment of your imagination?

If you think colours aren't funny

then you lack a sense of hue-mour

A gambler invites two friends, a mathematician and an engineer, to the casino to try and score big with their help.

The mathematician suggests blackjack, as with card counting it's the only game where the house doesn't have an advantage. The engineer agrees for the same reason, but warns, that since this is the real world, to be wary of the casino getting wise to them. The gambler follows the advice of his intell...

What's China's national colour?

Censo-red.

There was once a little boy

For his 2nd birthday he was given a little tractor with pedals. He loved it so much that it started an obsession with tractors.

By his fourth birthday, he already had 30 tractors of different sizes and colours.

As soon as he learnt how to read, he started filling his shelves in his bed...

Which is the most powerful colour?

Super Cyan

what colour were Kurt Cobain's eyes?

blue
one blew this way, one blew that way

What’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

I asked Alexa, what’s the difference between light and dark soy sauce?

Dark soy sauce is used in Chinese cooking to add colour and flavour to dishes. Light is an electromagnetic radiation within a certain portion of the electro magnetic spectrum.

Thanks Alexa - you’re not technically w...

What does a colour's laugh sound like?

Hue hue hue

Trying to make a girl happy

Is like trying to figure out what the colour 7 smells like

What's a Neckbeards' favourite colour?

M'genta

TIL The New Jersey Devils have never changed their logo or uniform design/colours.

No new New Jersey jersey.

What's the difference between gray and grey?

One is a color, the other is a colour.

What did the surgeon tell Michael Jackson before he changed his skin colour?

Everything's gonna be all white.

Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green.

Its sublime

I took an LSD test the other day

I passed with flying colours

Oddly lacking in colour

Dave and Mal are on a road trip. They stop at a hotel to spend the night, and can only afford one shared room. Dave goes off to explore the hotel while Mal goes to settle in. Dave then returns and enters the room. It is very barren, and the little amount of furniture it has is very strange looking, ...

Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?

He won’t separate the whites from the colours…

I tried to change the colour of my monk's costume so I could reuse it

but I guess old habits dye hard.

I thought getting a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant

Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby

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At the peak of the cold war the Russians started a project to mass produce war robots.

The plan was divided into 4 stages, in the first stage the scientists were tasked to perfect the technology of remotely controlling the robots.

The second stage was giving the robots a perfectly humanoid stucture and give them the ability to perfectly copy human actions.

T...

Arriving home from a shopping trip, a wife was horrified to find her husband in bed with a pretty girl.

Just as the wife was about to storm out of the house, her husband called out: ‘Before you go, I want you to hear how all this came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired. I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had for...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Stereotypes in real life

A ventriloquist is performing with his dummy on his lap. He’s telling a dumb-blonde joke when a young platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being?”

Flustered,...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

So there once was this wasp that lived in a jungle.

This was not your ordinary wasp though-he was smart, philosophical even. One day he finally got fed up with his repetitive, insignificant life and decided that he would leave his hive, his family, his entire close-knit wasp community and he would go out into the world and make something of himself, ...

Blacks the best colour to wear to a funeral isn't it?

Just thinking which rollerblades to wear.

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant...

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant. Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.

A very Canadian joke

It's Grey Cup weekend in Vancouver... the Stampeders are playing the Argonauts at BC Place, and fans are flying in from all over the country to watch the game and join in the festivities.

It's kind of chaotic at the domestic arrivals terminal at YVR. Air Canada and WestJet flights are arrivin...

A man goes to see a fortune teller.

She begins "your name is Steve", "wrong".
"Your favourite colour is green", "wrong".
"You have a dead uncle who passed away 2 years ago", "wrong".
"Your wife's name is Carol", "wrong".
"You have 2 children named John and Christian", "wrong".
"You are a painte...", "wrong".
Getting ...