UPJOKE
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Discolor Jokes

This guy said: "The discoloration on your arm looks like vomit."

Sick burn.

Grace Hopper was known for discovering the first computer bug...

However in actuality, it was Ada Lovelace who discovered it. She found a 17 year cicada stuck in her programmable weaving loom. The insect was oddly discolored and wandering around haphazardly. She asked her friend, what kind of bug is this? And the friend said, it's a sick cicada, Ada!

I pick my women like I pick my watermelon.

A little rough with a discolored bottom and heavier than the appear.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 Bicyclists are riding down a bike path

The bike path goes by a lake, and through some trees. It's a moderately traveled path, but gets its fair share of riders. The bicyclists in question were riding down it on an otherwise pleasant day, when suddenly they reach a rough patch in the path. It looks contorted and discolored from the rest o...

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The new nurse on the scene

A suspected Covid-19 patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse arrives to give him a quick sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies,...

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My kidnappers enjoyed torturing me

It was days before one of them allowed me to finally drink any water. When he gave me the jug of discolored water, the grin on his face had me terrified to drink it, and I instantly imagined it was full of poison. But I couldn't help myself; I was too thirsty. I drank it all.

Still I couldn't...

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An American man catches an STD while traveling through Asia

After having quite the romp he starts to notice discomfort and discoloration around his groin. Afraid for the loss of his manhood he seeks out an American doctor out there for help.

The doctor looks him over and says "I'm sorry, it's going to need to be removed, it's too far gone"
<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite medical joke

A radiologist, internist, surgeon and pathologist go duck hunting for the first time together. Huddled in their duck blind, they see their first bird in the distance take flight but don’t want to shoot something not in season. They quickly debate the best way to assure it’s truly a duck.

...
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