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Cocoa Jokes

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A recently widowed Jewish lady, was sitting on a beach towel at Cocoa Beach, Florida.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. “Hello, sir, how are you?”

“Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book.

“I lo...

Some dude just rubbed me down with cocoa powder, espresso, and mascarpone cheese...

Turns out he was a tiramassuse

TIL the creator of Corn Pops also invented Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Froot Loops, and Apple Jacks

His tombstone just says "cereal entrepreneur"

I was making a mocha in the barn

when I spilled some hot chocolate mix. I used my fingers to turn the mess into a rough picture of my pet rooster.

Shortly thereafter, the rooster himself strolled by, looked at my sketch and made a cocoa doodle too.

It's midnight and a woman awakes to find her husband not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of hot cocoa in front of him.


He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes away a tear from his eye.


"What's the matter, dear...

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you know who makes the best cocoa?

paedophiles

I had a dream that there was a dessert food made with sugar, cornstarch, and cocoa. In case any of you want to make it a reality...

I’m just pudding it out there.

The teacher wants her students to express their love to their mothers, so she asks them to create a sentence with the phrase "There is only one mom"

Some innocent joke my father told me when I was a child. Not sure if this will make sense in english.

The teacher wants her students to express their love to their mother, so she asks them to create a sentence with the phrase "There is only one mom".

It's the first student's time, and ...

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An old man seems very happy at the old people's home...

..his daughter asks him how its all going. He replies "Fine"
"Are you sleeping ok?" she enquires.
"Oh yes," he replies, " very well - every evening they give me a cup of warm cocoa and a viagra... I sleep as sound as anything!"
The daughter thinks this is a little odd but decides not to com...

How do you make cocoa powder?

Throw [Milka](https://www.google.ro/search?q=Milka&biw=1024&bih=635&site=webhp&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=kp1QVejVFuP9ygPnr4GQCw&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#tbm=isch&q=milka+cow&revid=2033489046) from the plane

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A 7 year old and a 4 year old are in their bedroom

"You know what?" Says the 7 year old, "I think it's time we start swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, and then you."

"Okay." Says the 4 year old.

Mom asks the 7 year old what he wants for breakfast.

He replies, "I'll have the Cocoa Puffs, bitch....

I went into a cafe today to get some hot cocoa and sit down. The lady at the table next to me was on her computer and clearly becoming irate. She starts getting all huffy, throwing expletives here and there under her breath. Seconds later, she goes full crazy...

"You can't tell me what to do you stupid piece of trash!?!"

I happened to glance over at her screen and see this, she was in command prompt...

C:\Users\Karen>taskmgr.exe

How is a speech impediment like a box of chocolates?

It doesn't really matter, as long as it has good cocoa content.

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Old folks home

My grandfather lives in an oldfolks home and one night while I was visiting a nurse walks in and hands him a mug of hot cocoa and a pill. I ask what the pill is, she says "It's viagra" confused I ask "why?" She says "well the cocoa is to make him sleep and the viagra is to stop him from rolling out ...

Old Soviet joke - Children in the USSR

Back in Soviet Russia, little Misha is being read to by his babysitter. She reads: 'In the USSR, kindegardens are filled with wonderful toys.'
Misha listens with bright eyes.
'In the USSR, every child has a brand new bicycle.'
Little Misha opens his eyes even wider.
'In the USSR, every...

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A man is starving and walks into a new restaurant...

A man is starving, walks into a new restaurant and orders a soup. The waiter brings the soup but the man notices he had his right thumb inside the bowl. The man is so hungry that he pretends he did not see anything and eats the soup.

Now it is time for a huge steak. Please give me a steak on ...

Raw eggs are good for a fitness diet.

If you don't like the taste, just add sugar, flour, cocoa and baking powder and bake for 30 minutes.

Cerealsly amazing joke

Once upon a time, there was a Cheerio who wanted something to do with his life, because it sucked. He decided he wanted to marry someone. So, one day, he went to the town square and saw a beautiful Fruit Loop. He went up to her and tried to ask her out on a date, but before he could get any words ou...

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Two boys parents are throwing a party... [long]

and since it's all adults and they're only children nobody will pay attention to them. The two start talking,

"This is Boooorrringgg, I wanna go up to my room," says the older brother.

"Mom and Dad say we have to stay down here to help entertain the guests, this bites," replies the you...

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A stockbroker walks past a kid selling lemonade

“Hey mister, ya want some lemonade?”

The stockbroker is just getting out of his brand new BMW in a nice tailored suit. He was about to walk past when he a double take at the sign that says “Lemonade $50”.


“Your sign is wrong kid. I think you mean fifty cents.”

The little gi...

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My younger sister just got a job at the mall

It is her first job, and she's working as a salesperson at that lotion, soap, and candle place. I'm not going to name names, but you know it, over there in the mall, right next to that new smoothie place where they put chia seeds in all their smoothies. They are really good smoothies, but I digress....

The origin of the angel on top of the tree

It must've been the coldest winter ever, with the worst snow storm this world has ever seen brewing in the North Pole on the Eve of Christmas. Santa was bedridden with a nasty stomach bug, and his workshop was short-staffed as many of the elves had contracted ~~herpes from sodomizing each other~~ th...

Have I ever told you about the Monk living on the hill and the tiny pickle in a jar?

Once upon a time there was a Monk who lived on a hill. He lived a simple life and was quite content, nothing out of the ordinary ever seemed to happen in his life. However, one day as he was settling down to watch his favourite shows with a mug of hot cocoa, he saw on the weather channel that a horr...

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