UPJOKE
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The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it.

So wake me up when it’s all over

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Now referencing LGBTQIA+, where the A is for asexual.

Perfect for those of us who have been married over 20 years.

I said “I love you” to my cake.

It burst into tiers.

Edit: rip my inbox!

Edit 2: so many awards but no gold? I dare you to gild me. Go ahead, make my day!

Edit 3: Guys I was being sarcastic and referencing the movie Sudden Impact (cries in being old). Whoever gilded me just wasted their coins but still, thanks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three people arrive at the gates of Heaven

St Peter is processing them in. "Name and occupation, please?"

The first one says "Andrea Smith, I was a doctor."

"Of course. Doctors who save lives are allowed. Come in. Next?"

The second one says "Megan Jones, I was a nurse."

"Of course. Nurses who care for the sic...

I don't like referencing

not et al.

What is not very funny, self referencing and paradoxical?

This.

My girlfriend left me because she's fed up of me referencing the The Big Lebowski all the time

She's entering a world of pain!

My girlfriend broke up with me because I kept referencing the song One Night in Bangkok for reasons why I didn't want to take a vacation there.

It's just me now and my Thai trope act without Annette.

I just read a book that compares the different versions of The Bible.

There was a lot of…cross referencing.

I just finished a long article about the different myths behind Jesus’ death and resurrection.

There was a lot of ….. cross referencing.

A couple is having a marriage counseling session.

The husband said “my wife keeps referencing star wars! I cant take it anymore!” And storms out of the room.

The wife replied “divorce is strong with this one.”

Do you know any maths jokes?

Yeah |ly|

When I was learning trigonometry my teacher explained the trig functions by referencing the unit circle. And when I asked about the unit circle she referred me to the functions.

I said miss this seems like circular reasoning to me

Trying to read multiple versions of The Bible at the same time is really difficult.

You have to do a lot of...cross referencing.

The song 'Hallelujah' has become so popular

They're now referencing it in churches.

A horse walks into a bar...

...and the bartender says "are you feeling all right?" The horse replies,"I don't think I am," *POOF* the horse disappears. This is of course a joke referencing the famous quote "I think, therefore I am." I would have explained this ahead of time but I didn't want to put *Descartes* before the hors...

How many priests does it take to change a lightbulb?

3. One to screw it. One to beat it for being screwed. One to tell the lawyers that no screwing took place.

From Monkey Beach by Eden Robinson, referencing residential schools

A physicist and his wife are hosting a dinner party

She reminded him multiple times that their friends Sue and Joe who had recently split up were both attending and that they should do their best to make them both feel comfortable.


During the party as the physicist was talking to Sue, his wife noticed he kept bringing up Joe and it was cl...

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The Unlucky Wife

A very religious 30 year-old Catholic virgin who profusely protested using birth control, wanted a large family. She finally finds the perfect man who accepts and whole-heartedly agrees with her religious values. They marry 3 months later and are overjoyed to be blessed with healthy triplets. Sad...

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