What does a black rectangle have in common with the girl I met last night?

>!you tap it once and it's gone!<

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the rectangle get sent to the principal's office?

He said a square word

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Dave wanted to send a letter to his girlfriend..

So he goes to the nearby market to buy an envelope. Just as he is about to enter the store, a man rushes out the market, furious,yelling and swearing. Dave didn't want to get in the mans way and just lets him pass. He enters the store and finds the cashier, a young lady, crying.

"Is everythi...

Archimedes, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

It's Arcimedes' turn to seek and so he starts counting down.

Pascal quickly runs off to some bushes nearby.

Newton starts walking, stops thinks for a while and them draws a large rectangle around himself in the dirt.

The time is up and Archimedes turns around: "Found you, Newton...

A square and a rectangle walk into a bar.

They both sit down, order a beer, and wait for the bartender to prepare their drinks.


They each take a sip; it's nice and cold. There's an abundance of bubbles in and on the beverage; perfect.


The square looks over next to him; the rectangle is looking down at his nearly empty ...

A circle is circular, a triangle is triangular, a rectangle is rectangular, but a square is...

You. You're a square.

The bermuda triangle used to be known as the bermuda rectangle,

until one of the sides mysteriously vanished.

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A patient goes to an psychologist.

"Let's see" says the doctor, "what comes to your mind when you see this?" and shows the patient a paper with a square drawn on it.
"Sex", replies the patient.
"And this?" the doctor shows the patient a circle.
"Sex!", replies the patient.
"What would you say if I showed you this?...

Just like not all rectangles are squares but all squares are rectangles..

Not all alcoholics are Irishmen, but all Irishmen are alcoholics!

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A little Texas joke

A young man in Oklahoma turns 21. Excited, he tells his father, “I want to finally go to Texas.”

His father warns, “Scooter, you’re a full-grown man, now. I can’t stop you from going to Texas. But I have to warn you… **EVERYTHING IS BIG IN TEXAS!** You can’t be prepared for how absolutely hug...

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I wish to go back to the time I had sex with a Rectangle...

...it was the best shape I'd ever been in.

Why is it called Red Square called Red Square when it is shaped like a rectangle?

Because in Soviet Russia, all sides are equal.

What do you call a rectangle that is standing up?

An erectangle.

Why was Osama bin laden kicked out of geometry class?

He kept blowing up the rectangles and pentagons

What's Rectangle, red and bad for your teeth?

A Brick!

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A blonde cop is patrolling the highway when she sees a blonde motorist weaving in and out of traffic.

The cop pulls over the motorist and asks for her ID. Note that the motorist was wearing a pink ensemble and that the cop was in uniform when the incident happened.

Cop: May I see your ID, ma'am?

Motorist: What's an ID?

Cop: It's a rectangle with a picture of your face on it.
...

What do you call an angle that’s gotten into a car crash?

A rectangle

What do you call an erect square?

An e-rectangle

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What happens when you fuck an angle too hard?

You get a rectangle.

A blonde was driving faster than the speed limit in her new red car.

A blonde was driving faster than the speed limit in her new red car. A police officer, who was also a blonde, asked for the blondes license.

The blonde searches through her purse and gets more frustrated when she finally asks the officer "what does it look like?"

The officer says "it...

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Man: Doctor i think i have a problem, everywhere i look i see naked women

Doctor: interesting. Alright let's see. *doctor draws a circle on paper.* What do you see here?

Man: A naked woman

Doctor: Hmm. *draws a rectangle on paper.* And what do you see here?

Man: A naked woman again

Doctor: Alright. *draws a triangle on paper*. And here?

...

A blond was pulled over

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?...

What's Hugh Heffner's favorite shape?

A Rectangle

What do you call a triangle that got OWNED?

A rectangle.

Adam, Eve, and their kids build a hut...

As they didn't have any of our modern conveniences, they were looking for ways to make themselves more comfortable. Cain notices that the opening in the wall lets lots of bugs in, so he comes up with a solution. He cuts a tree down and starts shaping the wood into a rectangle to cover it. Meanwhile,...

What happens when an angle gets itself into a car wreck?

The angle becomes a rectangle

So a blonde cop pulls over a blonde driver...

The blonde cop says "I need to see your license". The blonde driver digs through her purse for awhile, and says "I can't find it. What does it look like?".



So the cop, making a rectangle with her hands, says "it's rectangular, and has your picture on it". The blonde driver searches th...

So this blonde cop pulls over this lady...

So one day this blonde chick is driving down the interstate when a cop pulls her over. The man walks towards the driver door, as the blonde girl rolls down the window. She says, "Hello officer, what can I help you with today?" The cop looks at her and says, "Ma'am I'm going to need to see your driv...

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