Why does my mother call my father "10 millimeter?"

Because he disappeared just as fast as the socket

How do American schoolkids learn the metric system?

9 millimeters at a time

A sperm was undergoing training for conception

His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?'

The sperm nodded. Days later, th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I made this joke today, and it's the worst joke. This is an original, please read till the end and you will see.

Edit: Yes, it's a joke of another joke (Obviously should be able to tell from the title). Read through, not only the punchline is different, you should be able to notice the other subtle changes.



There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-known...

Metric system isn't popular in the United States?

Nonsense, just look how popular are two-liter bottles and nine-millimeter bullets

A man walks into a bar after a Break-up..

He asks for two shots. The bartender asks "What'll it be? Whisky or vodka?"
He replies

"Nine millimeter please."

What is the favourite gun caliber of a german?

Nein millimeter.

A threesome of golfers approaches the tee...

The first golfer is Jesus. Jesus takes a swing and the ball sails directly into the water. Jesus' ball doesn't sink, and he walks across the water's surface and takes his second swing. The ball drops on the green.

The second golfer is Moses. He takes a mighty whack at the ball, but it also la...

My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place

A joiner makes sure that what he makes fits with the rest down to the tenth of a millimeter.

A carpenter makes sure it fits down to a millimeter.

A mason makes sure it fits down to the centimeter.

If the painter makes it to the right address, it's a good thing.

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