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Borderline Jokes

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A Penis Study(borderline NSFW)

In 1993, the University of Kentucky did a study to see why the head of a man's penis was larger than the shaft. After one year and $ 80,000.00, they concluded that the reason the head was larger than the shaft was to give the man more pleasure during sex.

After the study was published, the Un...

What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ?

Unstable.

I may be borderline schizophrenic...

...but at least I have each other!

Why Did The Mexican Immigrant Take Xanax?

He Had Borderline Anxiety.

Just got fired from my job at Google Maps. Apparently I was terrible at drawing the boundaries between countries.

They said I was borderline incompetent.

A country that shares borderlines with 10 other countries cannot be entered

because it is made of limits

I work as a Customs Officer and yesterday I had my yearly performance review.

They feel I'm borderline incompetent.

My dad's sister is a geriatric nurse.

With Covid her life has been crazy busy over the past year. She has seen far too many patients die. Now that we have the vaccine she's very excited and gets borderline preachy on why we should all get vaccinated. She talks about it non-stop. It's annoying!

It's like she's become Auntie Vaxx!

The World Expert on Wasps

A man was walking down a quiet street, when something caught his eye in the window of a charity shop. He wandered over to take a closer look, then smiled to himself, nodded, and entered the shop.

He walked up to the counter and said to the man serving there, "Is that record in the window real...

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The Tale of Three Heavens

Once upon a time, long long ago, in village far far away, there lived a fairly affluent merchant who lived a nice luxurious life in his spacious mansion. The merchant befriended a homeless man who lived in front of the gates of his mansion and often gave him food.

One day, the merchant n...

Illegal immigration jokes..

are borderline offensive

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Pet store

Guy walks into a pet store...

- I need a new pet, my dog just died. You got puppies?
- Sir, forget the puppy, I have just the thing, a new craze from Japan... The toothless guinea pig!
- The toothless what?!
- The toothless guinea pig, sir. If you would like to step into the boot...

Legally speaking the Trump proposition of buying the Greenland from Denmark...

is a weird borderline-case.

I can't support building a wall to keep out illegal immigrants.

It's borderline racist.

Did you hear about the Customs Officer who started shooting the immigration queue in Heathrow Airport?

I'm told he was borderline crazy

'Doctor, I have a drinking problem!'

'I'm always drunk whenever I'm traveling between countries!'

Doctor - 'Sounds like you're a borderline alcoholic.'

I found my girlfriend slumped over Hadrian's Wall with an empty vodka bottle in her hand.

I'm worried she's becoming a borderline alcoholic.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and tumblr

One's a moronic waste of space with no understanding of how the American political system works, and a borderline fetishistic hatred of Hillary Clinton. The other is Donald Trump

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How well did the Mexican do for his class test?

He got a borderline pass.

A lizard was walking through the jungle...

...and he comes across a monkey sitting in a tree, smoking a joint. The lizard, being curious, asks the monkey what he was smoking. The monkey replies that he's smoking weed and the Lizard asks if he could try some as he's never had it before. The monkey allows it. After a few tokes, the Lizard beco...

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What's the difference between family bonding and family bondage?

One is forced and borderline torture, the other is sex.

My teacher told me my drawing was pretty good,

I told her I know. My mom always told me I was borderline artistic.

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Sex Frogs

A miserably married man hates his life. His wife is a bitch, so everyday after work he's only home for a half hour before he takes off to the same bar to escape for a while. He's a regular at said bar. The people there are friendly and understand where he is in his life right now.

Well, one n...

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