I tried to draw a circle, after doing all my calculations, it would never be correct...
Turns out, it was a rounding error
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting...
A physicist, engineer and a statistician are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The physicist does some basic ballistic calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle, and shoots. The bullet lands 5 yards short.
The engineer adds a fudge factor f...
Two tunnels
Once a tunnel was to be build through a mountain, but the state is running low on budget.
Two brothers from India accepted the challenge and agreed to work this out on the small budget. Curious about their enthusiam, the supervisor asked about any possible plan they are having.
To ...
Interviewer: It says here on your resume that you're extremely fast at calculations. What is 25 x 14?
Candidate : 39!
Interviewer: What? That's not even close!
Candidate : Yeah, but it was quick!
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A Day at the University
I posted a joke that gained some popularity before getting deleted for breaking the rules of the community. As there are people who ask me what the joke was, I'll try to reformulate it so that it complies with the rules.
Carrynegie Melon University, Penisylvania. Prof. Mary Armstrong gives a ...
Translated version
The math teacher was new to the elementary class so he just wanted to know how good are the kids in basic calculation. He picked a random student and started asking questions. Math teacher : What's 2+2? The kid opens 2 fingers in both his hands and counts and says "4 sir." Math teacher : W...
A Chinese student is quite good with mental calculation
... but has this habit of looking up whenever he does heavy calculation. He is a third-year student in a university, major in Computer Science. And he works part time in a convenient store near his uni. He doesn’t speak much on his part time job, but he is honest, hard working, and is well mannered ...
Scientists have discovered a new species of moss that can perform arithmetic calculations.
They do this using algae-rhythms.
In a hotel a engineer, a physicist and a mathematician...
... are sleeping when a fire breaks out.
The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.... After what seems hours of heroic fighting the fire is gone and he goes to sleep again.
But the fire breaks out again. The physicist wakes up, notic...
“I am a master of fast calculations.”
“I am a master of fast calculations.” - “OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?” - “22!” - “Ha ha, that’s wrong!” - “Might be, but it was fast!”
What do Chinese food and entropy calculations have in common?
they both feature some dim sums
I've done some calculations, and I figure, that at my current rate of pay I could live happily for the rest of my life.
If I died tomorrow.
Three college graduates—one in Math, one in Engineering, and one in Economics—sit for a job interview.
The question they’re all asked is “What’s 2+2?”
The Math graduate goes to the whiteboard, fills it with a proof, and concludes that, “A solution exists.”
The Engineering graduate consults his addition tables, writes some calculations down, graphs his results, and says, “3. But we’ll ma...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting.
An engineer, a physicist and a statistician go deer hunting. They see a massive buck, and the physicist gets to take the first shot.
The physicist takes out a notepad and pencil and starts calculating, "Account for coriolis force, air friction...carry the 9..." Finally the physicist has calcu...
The USA’s greatest achievement wasn’t putting a man on the moon
It was putting a man on the moon and doing all the calculations in imperial units
A 45 year old IT contractor was visited by Death one evening
**IT contractor:** No it can't be, I've still got so much of my life to live, I'm still so young!
**Death:** Son, by my calculations, you should be 85, judging by the way you've filled your work time sheets up all these years!
Three mathematicians have known each other for years.
An engineer, a physicist, and a statistician, they decide to go bow hunting one season. While on the trail, they spot their first buck. The physicist run some calculations, decides that air resistance is negligible, and aims accordingly. His arrow falls short by 20 feet. The engineer runs some more ...
A group of Engineers are in a bar and the conversation turns to religion,...
The System Engineer says, "God must be an Systems Engineer, look at the design of the human nervous system. Millions of signals flying back and forward at enormous speeds, all controlled by a massively powerful processing system that can make billions of calculations every second. Only the greatest ...
Physicists, Engineer and Statistician go hunting ...
... as they are walking through the woods, they spot a deer.
"This one is mine" said Physicists. He takes out a pencil and a notepad and does some ballistic calculations, but calculates them in vacuum. He picks up his rifle, aim, fires. The bullet overshoots by 5 yards.
"Give me that...
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