What is the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon Prime.

Hey babe, can I be your first derivative?

Because I want to lie tangent to your curves...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the derivative of acceleration with respect to time? and where do all male scientists learn this?

Jerk of course

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

This is a little derivative...

^^^dy/dx

Why are Redditors good at calculus?

Because everything on this site is a derivative.

I’ve been solving derivatives everyday, for a week and I haven’t been able to do more than 20 a day.

I guess that’s my limit.

A completely new joke about calculus.

Never mind, actually it's just derivative.

Hey girl, are you a derivative?

Because I'd like to examine the slope of your curves

Why did the derivative of the sine function cross the road?

Just cos

I don't always take the derivative of x^2....

But when I do, it's dos equis.

[Calculus Joke] Why didn't the derivative of sec(x) go to the beach?

Because secant tan

What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives?

An anti-derivative.

Why is Optimus Prime worthless?

The derivative at the maximum = 0

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the fourth derivative called?

Inauguration.

Why?

Change of jerk.

Maths is fun

One day, e^x sees x^2 running down the street in a panic. "What's wrong?" asks e^x. "There's a Differential Operator in town!" yells x^2. "If I run into him too many times, I'll disappear!"

"Don't worry," responds e^x. "I'll go have a chat with him. No, don't worry about me -- he can't hur...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The cocky exponential function e^x is strolling along the road insulting the functions he sees walking by.

He scoffs at a wandering polynomial for the shortness of its Taylor series. He snickers at a passing smooth function of compact support and its glaring lack of a convergent power series about many of its points. He positively laughs as he passes |x| for being nondifferentiable at the origin. He smil...

What do get if you take the derivative of a Positioraptor?

A Velociraptor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Are you the fourth derivative of a position function?

Cause you're a jerk!

Newton: I've discovered calculus(1664).

Leibneiz: I've discovered calculus(1670s) Newton: Really? Seems derivative.

This kid in physics class was being mean to me

So I called him the derivative of acceleration.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. Its Saturday.. you're late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"Whats that?"

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH with ambiant temperature H2O and aqueous CO2. To cool this mixture added some super low temperature, solidified H2O, now while waiting for som...

What is the first derivative of a cow?

A prime rib.

I am in no position to say this,

but my math teacher is the third derivative of my position

Help, idk how to integrate my ideas into jokes

They seem too derivative.

To not go off on a tangent

simply stay on the derivative.

Why did the mathematician fail as a painter?

His art was derivative.

f(x) walks into a bar

The bartender says "I'm sorry, we don't cater for functions".


f'(x) walks into a bar... Wait, isn't this the same joke? No, it's derivative humour.

What do you call recycled calculus jokes?

Derivative humor.

Did you see the movie about the x^2’s journey to become 2x?

It was really derivative.

Two men walk into a bar

The first one says
"I want to buy a beer for everyone in here"
The second man says
"I want to buy a beer for everyone who has bought a beer for everyone in here"
The bartender says
"You're so derivative"

I was listening to the ABC song the other day

Everything I listen to now just seems so derivative

This was deemed "pretty bad" by my friends...

I'm not really good at writing stories so bear with me.

Simon, a high school student, passed his sophomore year with a 100% in Algebra 2. Thinking he was the most outstanding student ever, he went to his counselor to ask if he can skip directly to Calculus AB.

"Calculus is a very rigor...

[math][star wars]{no spoilers}

What do you call the derivative of the First-order in Star Wars?


The second-order.

I tried to come up with a math joke...

but all my ideas were derivative
and the punchline didn't add up.
Anyway, comedy has no absolute value.
Your jokes are sum of the best,
but minus not very funny
because I'm a perfect square.
I halve one, I guess...
but you're too obtuse to get it,
and trying to simplify it...

They said calculus would be integral to my education

I found it a little derivative.

Did you hear about the albino clairvoyant master hypnotist from San Francisco?

He was a super pallid Cali mystic, expert at hypnosis.

(Today I had wanted to tell someone the Gandhi joke I read on here the other day, but I couldn't remember it so I made this up and thought I may as well share it even though it's purely derivative.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Calculus pick up line

F'- Can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves?
F''- Can I be your second derivative so I can test out your concavities?
F'''- Can I be your third derivative so I can jerk to you?
F''''- Can I be your fourth derivative so I can snap your neck?

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