If Jesus has his second-coming, there's no way he'll let anybody crucify him.

Nobody double-crosses Jesus

People criticize the Roman that had to crucify Jesus...

...but I think he nailed it.

I almost forgot what this Friday is (Good Friday).

My mom would be so disappointed... sheโ€™d crucify me.

My first joke - don't crucify me please

Mac decided to go to the shooting range with his friend. Having never shot a gun before, he is a little nervous that he'll embarrass himself by performing poorly at the range but his friend reassures him that he'll do alright. Once they arrive they make their way to the back where the instructor is ...

I made a Jesus joke today...

And I completely nailed it.

(Please don't crucify me this was just for a pun)

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

TV ad for Benson's Nails

Benson runs a nail factory and decides his business needs a bit of advertising. He has a chat with a friend who works in marketing and he offers to make a TV ad for Benson's Nails.

"Give me a week," says the friend, "and I'll be back with an ad."

A week goes by and the marketing execut...

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

My coworker treat me like a god

when some shit happen, they crucify me

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

What kind of moves does 242 year old ink bust out on the dance floor?

Indapendance

Fucking crucify me

Dear protestors,

Rosa parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, she didn't trash it. There's a difference.

Pls don't crucify me

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

A company that sells nails decides to start advertising their product...

Their CEO goes to an ad agency to inquire about creating a large billboard downtown. He meets with an account executive and explains his need:
"We have a good business, but I just feel like most people have never heard of us. They just go down to one of these big box stores and buy whatever bra...

Best one liner jokes

I didn't ready the sidebar so crucify me if need be.

I was just looking for the best one liner jokes you've ever heard. Clean or dirty, doesn't matter.

One that always gets me: Have you heard about the depressed, cross eyed girl? She never looked forward to anything.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.