I suffered a broken collar bone, concussion and some minor bruising when I fell asleep at the wheel.

Got kicked out of pottery class too.

My friend got hit in the head with an icicle, and now it's bruising really bad.

I wanted to help, but he didn't seem to like it when I told him to put some ice on it.

I was surprised to find that "Trailer Park Barbie" doesn't come with bruising on her body

Then I realized battery not included

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was released from prison after a 40-year sentence.

After he checked into his economy hotel, he called an escort service and told them he wanted 2 of their best girls. He immediately went down to the pharmacy and asked for a bottle of Viagra and the pharmacist told him to only take one pill. To the pharmacist's dismay, he immediately opened the bottl...

A man went golfing with a priest.

When he swings for the first time, he knocks the ball to the side.

"Damn," He says, "I missed."

The priest replies, "Please don't swear."

The man agrees, and they keep playing for a while longer, until they come to the third hole. The man is only a few feet away, and he swings...

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