A woman got wooden breast implants yesterday.

It would be funny if this joke had a punch line wooden tit.

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?

One is a crusty bus station the other is a busty crustacean

Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants

Be a lot firmer, wooden tit?

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A plastic surgeon was offering discounts on breast implants.

The sign read:

A sale of two titties

You hear about the girl-ghost who got accused of getting breast implants?

So rude. Everyone knows she’s got super-naturals.

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There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today, than on Alzheimer's research....

This means by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

[NSFW] If a woman gets a breast implant at a discount...

Does that make it a clearance rack?

The Tempur-pedic Mattress company has come out with a line of breast implants...

...They're mammary foam.

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

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Apple breast implants

Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated ...

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Apple announced a breast implant that plays music...

The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them.

I asked an Italian plastic surgeon what he uses for breast implants

He just replied "Si"

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Why was the woman who stole the pair of breast implants arrested?

Identitty Theft

I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget.

Those mammaries will stay with you forever.

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Two breast implants were arguing. After very insulting comment the other replied:

”That was so low, now you’re making an ass of yourself.”

OC. Using my time on the train productively. Sorry.

Breast implants are like potato chips.

You can't have just one.

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So there's a woman who wants to get a breast implant...

She talks to her doctor and he says "I have the perfect product for you! We invented a pump that can be inflated by flapping your upper arms. If you want to deflate when you, say, go running, you can deflate them by pushing a button under your arms". She said, "Alright, ill get that".

The su...

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A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

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What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants...

They're up for grabs.

Playing with fate

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside. “Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. So since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants,...

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A wife tells her husband that she wants breast implants

Her husband says, "Why on earth would you want to do that? You look gorgeous exactly the way you are."

"But I'm not HAPPY!" the wife complains.

The husband replies, "Well, I want you to be happy. But we don't need to spend a ton of money on implants. All you need to do is rub some toi...

What's the difference between a dirty area where people wait for buses and a crab with breast implants

One is a crusty bus station and the other is a freak of nature able to somehow talk to humans about such matters

Magic is like breast implants...

...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder

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iBoob

Apple announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men s...

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