Breast Implant Jokes - 32 Hilarious Breast Implant Jokes

What do you call the cleavage between breast implants?

Silicon Valley

What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants?

Ones a crusty bus station, the others a busty crustacean.

The breast implant recall is making some women upset.

But I think they are making a mole hill out of a mountain.

A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday.

This joke would be funny if it had a punchline

Wooden tit

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A plastic surgeon was offering discounts on breast implants.

The sign read:

A sale of two titties

Do you think i should get breast implants ?

Nah

Just rub some toilet paper on ‘em

Do you think it will help?

It did wonders for your ass

Always wondered about using oak instead of silicon for breast implants

Be a lot firmer, wooden tit?

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Apple announced a breast implant that plays music...

The iTit is considered a major social break through since women have always complained that men stare at their breasts but never listen to them.

The new Itit a speaker breast implant.

It will finally solve the problem of men starring at women's breast and not listening to them.

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My wife said she’d like us to save money for her to get breast implants

I told her, “Why? All you need to do is rub some toilet paper between your breasts every day.”

She said, “What the hell is that going to do?”

I said, “I don’t know but it seems to have worked wonders on your ass.”

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Apple breast implants

Apple is working on smart breast implants, which can adapt their shape and texture to suit your lifestyle. The iTit can be used charge your mobile devices while browsing, as cupholders, and even as a self defence device. Future app updates will include anti jiggle functions, as well as an automated ...

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What's the difference between a cheap guy at a restaurant and a worker packaging silicone breast implants?

One's a shitty tipper....

You hear about the girl-ghost who got accused of getting breast implants?

So rude. Everyone knows she’s got super-naturals.

[NSFW] If a woman gets a breast implant at a discount...

Does that make it a clearance rack?

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My girlfriend says, the new breast implants make her feel uncomfortable.

But, I think I look sexy.

What do you call breast implants that fall out and go missing?

Bolton Wanderers.

The Tempur-pedic Mattress company has come out with a line of breast implants...

...They're mammary foam.

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What do you call a crack house that sells breast implants?

A booby trap.

My blonde friend got breast implants

I used to call her " little Connie", now she's just "Silicone"

Breast implants are like potato chips.

You can't have just one.

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So there's a woman who wants to get a breast implant...

She talks to her doctor and he says "I have the perfect product for you! We invented a pump that can be inflated by flapping your upper arms. If you want to deflate when you, say, go running, you can deflate them by pushing a button under your arms". She said, "Alright, ill get that".

The su...

Getting breast implants is an experience you'll never forget.

Those mammaries will stay with you forever.

Magic is like breast implants...

...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder

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All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and its generic name is Acetaminophen... Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of...

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Why was the woman who stole the pair of breast implants arrested?

Identitty Theft

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A tech company is developing computer chips that store music in women's breast implants.

A company spokesperson declared this is a major breakthrough, as women are always complaining about men staring at their boobs without listening to them.

A local plastic surgeon started giving away free breast implants...

They're up for grabs.

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A wife tells her husband that she wants breast implants

Her husband says, "Why on earth would you want to do that? You look gorgeous exactly the way you are."

"But I'm not HAPPY!" the wife complains.

The husband replies, "Well, I want you to be happy. But we don't need to spend a ton of money on implants. All you need to do is rub some toi...

In surgery for a heart attack, a middle-aged woman has a vision of God by her bedside.

“Will I die?” she asks.

God says, “No. You have 30 more years to live.”

With 30 years to look forward to, she decides to make the best of it. Since she’s in the hospital, she gets breast implants, liposuction, a tummy tuck, hair transplants, and collagen injections in her lips. She loo...

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iBoob

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women's breast implants. The iBoob will cost between $499 and $699, depending on the speaker size. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained ab...

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Two breast implants were arguing. After very insulting comment the other replied:

”That was so low, now you’re making an ass of yourself.”

OC. Using my time on the train productively. Sorry.

I heard about people using cedar instead of silicon for breast implants, but think about if it happened to you, it'd be super weird,

Wooden tit

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