UPJOKE
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Pacemaker Jokes

When the doctor told me that he had fitted me with a thermostat instead of a pacemaker, I was livid

It made my blood boil.

My uncle was the first man to be fitted with a lead pacemaker. He died last week.

We buried him with a heavy heart.

I never considered myself to be sentimental, but after I got my pacemaker...

I knew it would always have a place in my heart.

Text abbreviations for seniors.

• ATD: At The Doctor's

BTW: Bring The Wheelchair

• BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth

• CGU: Can't Get Up

• FWIW: Forgot Where I Was

• GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

• GHA: Got Heartburn Again

IMHAO: Is My Hearing Aid On?

• LMDO: Laughing My ...

Today I awoke with a song in my heart.

Someone had hacked my pacemaker.

An old man said to his grandson playing on a tablet...You younger generation are too dependent on technology.

His grandson said...Which one of us needs a pacemaker to live?

Why did the marathon runner sprint at the start of the race?

His pacemaker was malfunctioning

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