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The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday...

It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following news. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.


The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection, and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.


Doughboy is ...

A man accidentally walks into a Gonorrhea Complications Support Group and says

"Well damn, I didn't expect a round of applause!"

I told my friends a joke about birth complications, but no one laughed.

It must have come out wrong.

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Elizabeth Taylor goes in to get her vagina reconditioned.

Elizabeth : Dr. I want to have the vagina of an 18 year old.

Dr. : Ok that can be done.

Elizabeth: Ok but please, ABSOLUTELY NO PAPARAZZI or MEDIA involvement!

Dr. : Of course, it will be completely confidential.


The surgery occurs with no complications. in f...

What do you call complications during chidbirth

A midwife crisis.

Health care is too expensive, I went to the hospital for complications from my diabetes

And It cost me an arm and a leg.

I would never vaccinate my own child because of all the complications

Thats why I leave it to the certified medical professionals to do it.

My Mother-In-Law asked how Charles Manson died, and I responded, "Complications with dementia". To which she replied...

"I thought he was demented his whole life. Why is he having complications with it now??"

I made a gaffe about birth complications

Well, that came out wrong.

There was a support group for parents who had lost their children.

Every week, many would gather to share the horrible trauma they had experienced: Terminal illness, accidents, and other birth complications. However, there was one man who always came in on the same day for the past four years. He would always say the same thing: "Today would have been my son's birt...

A man is sitting in the waiting room of a hospital.

He is visibly nervous. Can't stop biting his nails. He's sweating like a pig. Finally, a doctor comes to greet him.

"Your wife is doing okay, sir. Congratulations: you just became a father."

The man has never been so happy in his whole life.
"Actually, sir" says the doctor, "there h...

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So a Bartender, a Priest, and an Anti-Lockdown protester walk into a bar... [LONG]

Ok, not a bar, because the bars are all closed. But I digress. So they walk into... I dunno, Wal-Mart, Whatever. Turns out all three know each other and start talking about the lockdown and how it has been affecting them.

The Bartender started by lamenting the loss of their income and social ...

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At the beginning of COVID 19, there was a man.

He was told to wash his hands for 20 seconds at a time. He chose not to and said God would protect him and the believers.
He was told he should be wearing a mask to protect others. He chose not to and said God would protect him and the believers.
He was told he should socially distance. He w...

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Three friends encounter a genie

not my joke but I really like it :))

The Genie is extremely grateful to the three friends for releasing him from his dormant stage and offers three wishes to each man.

The first one says "I want to have enough money that I don't have to work another day in my life." As soon as he finis...

Three men found a genie lamp that grants the opposite of what is wished

The first man wishes that he would win the lottery. He buys his first ticket, and loses, buys his second ticket, and loses. Every week the man dumped his savings into lottery tickets, until he was completely broke.

The second man wishes for a healthy and long life. He decides to abuse his wis...

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A couple get into a bad car crash...

... which ends them up in the hospital. The man comes to in the ER and starts calling out for his wife. The doctors come in and calm him down a bit. They explain to him that he's been in an accident and that his wife was in surgery. The surgeon came in and said "Look, we had some complications. Your...

The local hospital hired a Roman nurse!

Complications arose when the IV was issued to bed #4.

the story of jimmy the dumb student

there once was a boy named jimmy who studied in an elementary school in a small town in oklahoma,

this kid was so stupid he didn't understand anything at all, no one liked him, his teacher ms. dorothy always yelled at him: "jimmy you're gonna give me a heart attack!"

one day his mom c...

Onions

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs...

woman pregnant with triplets is shot in the belly 3 times after robbery

she has a healthy pregnancy with no complications and gives birth to 2 girls and a boy. 15 years passes and one of the daughters runs to the mother crying saying that she was peeing and a bullet came. The mother finds this mildly amusing and begins to tell the story that took place 15 years ago. A c...

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Doctors of reddit - who is that one patient you really wish you'd seen again?

It was actually during my junior year. A man, about 50, came in with walking difficulties - you could tell he was really struggling when he arrived at the surgery and even looked uncomfortable when he sat down. I was expecting a leg, hip or even back complaint but once the door was shut he admitted ...

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A prostitute has a problem...

There once was a very prolific prostitute. She serviced many a John and a Jane over her career.

Her biggest insecurity was always the way her vagina looked. She had rather large pussy lips (labia minora). Occasionally, she would be rejected by a client because of the way her lady bits looked...

There was a man named Johnny who had a cat.

He loved the cat more than anything, and when he was going on vacation he decided to leave the cat with his brother, Max.

A few days into the vacation, Jonny calls his brother to check in on the cat. “The cat is dead,” replies Max.

Johnny is devastated. “How could you break the news ...

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Mulan got her period in the midst of a battle...

Mulan was fighting in a gruesome battle when all of a sudden her period came. The blood had soaked through her pants and there was no way she could hide it.

 

*Oh no what if my comrades find out I'm a woman? They aren't just gonna punish me, but my father and family too!* She ...

My poor baby!

A women gives birth and the baby is quickly rushed out of the room. The doctor soon comes in and says, "I'm sorry, but there was a complication. It may be better if you come see for yourself."
The doctor walks the new mother to the NICU. They stop at a bed and there is a baby with no arms and no ...

A woman is pregnant with twins

but because of complications during labor, she passed out for about 24 hours after the birth. When she wakes up, she asks to see her children, excited to name them.

The doctor says “sure, here they are, but your brother already named them.”

“What?” she exclaims, “what did he name them?...

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A woman pregnant with triplets gets shot

with three bullets to her womb. Miraculously she and all her children survived. However, a bullet had embedded in each of the three children. The doctor decided it would be best to leave the bullets. A few months later she gives birth to two beautiful daughters and a son, with no health complication...

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