Bore Jokes - 74 Hilarious Bore Jokes

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Bored Superman

One day Superman is flying around looking for crime. Lex Luther is locked up along with all the other villains so not much is going on. Superman sees Batman crouched next to a gargoyle on a building so stops by to see what's up. "Hey Batman what's good wanna do something?" Batman answers gruffly, "I...

Joseph Stalin Is Bored

To amuse himself he has a great idea.
He decides to disguise himself and circulate amongst his people and find out what they really think of him.

He organises a job at the local factory and starts work there.
He starts chatting with one of the workers, and they agree to eat their lunch ...

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Two bored male casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blond woman arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of the dice

She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.” With that, she strips down, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!” As the dice come to a stop she jumps up and down and squeals, “YES! YES! I WON, I WON!”

She hugs each of the de...

A Fox and a Bear got bored one day…

Fox: Bear, I'm bored.

Bear: Yeah, me too.

Fox: I've got an idea! We beat up the hare!

Bear: Yeah, great idea!

Fox: But we can't beat him up for nothing, we need
reason... I've got it: If he wears a cap, we tell him 'You have a stupid cap', and if he has no cap, we ...

A man was idling in the street, bored, when he saw a man selling apples close by

He approached the man, and asked, "How much do these apples cost?". The vendor replied, "An apple costs $1 and an apple seed costs $2.". Confused, the man asked, "Why are you selling the seeds? and why are they so expensive?". The vendor said, "Apple seeds are actually known to make you so much time...

Scientists got so bored of watching the Earth spin that after 24 hours

They called it a day.

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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution, bored out of their minds.

"How about having sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.

"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.

"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with...

I’ve been bored recently so I have decided to take up fencing.

The neighbors said they will call the police unless I put it back.

I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary.

I learned next to nothing.

Quarantine has me really stressed and bored so I've been trying that Chinese thing with the needles

You know, heroin

What do the cows do when they're bored ?

Go to the moovies

his door-to-door entrepreneur became rather bored with his job of selling Bibles, so he decided to become a boss, hiring three people to sell Bibles for him.

He interviewed three people. The first came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired. Here's your kit; go sell!"

The second came in and said, "I want to sell Bibles for you." "OK, you're hired! Here's your kit; go sell!"
The third came in and said, "I- i ...

A lawyer is at an airport and starts feeling really bored while waiting for his flight. He notices that he’s sitting next to a blonde woman.

She’s reading a book. He assumes that the woman is an idiot because she’s a blonde.

“Hey, I want to play a game. I’ll ask you a question, and then you ask me a question, and we’ll see who answers the most right.”

“Thanks but no thanks, I’m trying read this book.”

“How about this...

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Jesus is bored in heaven and decides to take a vacation to Earth

He thinks hitchhiking could be fun, so he disguises himself as an average looking American and flies down from heaven onto a highway in Nebraska. He sticks his thumb out and after a little while, an 18-wheeler pulls over to offer a ride. He climbs in the cab, tells the driver he's headed west and ...

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

A lion gets bored of eating antelope...

So he decides to have bird for dinner. He dons a hippopotamus outfit and walks towards an eagle inside a group of hippos. As he gets closer, the bird spots him and flies away.

Undaunted, the lion puts on a zebra costume the next day, and walks towards the bird among a group of zebras. Once ag...

I am so bored I started reading the dictionary from start to finish.

I am past caring.

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield".

The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more.

Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position ...

The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.

Intrigued he asked: "Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?"

"No your Highness," the man replied, "but my father was."

My dog: “daddy, I’m bored, tell me a joke”…

Me: “ok, here goes, knock knock…”

My dog: “WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF”

one day two lions was bored

lion one: i know what we will do, lets go beat the rabbit.
The second lion was a little more conscientious so he said: but we need at least a Cause to do this.
so the first lion told him: i know, if the rabbit will wear a hat, we will ask him why is he wearing a hat, if he don't wear a hat we ...

My bride stood up in front of everyone. She said, "I would like to make a speech, but don't worry I'm not going to bore you with a long one," to which I smiled.

Until she added: "Instead I'll talk about the groom's good traits."

One of my friends stood up. "So, you won't be mentioning his taste in women?"

What does a slave driver do with his slaves when he's bored?

He racism.

The animals were bored.

Finally the lion had an idea. He tells the other animals how he's seen the humans play a game called American football. He proceeded to tell them how it's played and explained its rules. This got them excited.

They chose their teams and went out to an open field. The lion's team received, and...

Why do antimaskers love Bored Ape NFTs?

Because people with COVID have no taste.

How does a bored ninja kill people?

With a sai.

My brother and I got so bored, we started throwing spice jars at each other.

Then the thyme really flew.

What does my dad do when he's drunk and bored?

Beats me

I decided to slap the salami today because I was bored

Needless to say I was fired from my job at the butcher shop for forgetting to wear gloves

If you're ever bored

Just go punch an orphan, what is he gonna do? Tell his parents?

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "surely I can't look that old.".

Well . . . you'll love this story..

from a lady called Claire

"My name is Claire..
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist.

I noticed his degree on the wall, which bore his full name.

Suddenly, I remembered a tall , handsome, dark...

I'm bored

Think I will go to the mall, find a great parking spot and sit in my car with my reverse lights on.

Is it possible to be bored to death?

That all depends on the drill.

One day, legendary musician Sting becomes bored of music, and decides to try his luck at day trading.

He does a few online courses and begins trading.

On the first day Sting loses some money, but learns from it, and unpertrubed by the small losses he continues with it. On the second day, Sting loses a bit less, and learns even more. Happy with the results, he decides to sink some more money i...

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Superman is flying around the world, bored out of his mind, looking for some excitement...

As he zips past the beaches of Brazil, he looks down and sees Wonder Woman, completely naked, legs spread, laying on her back catching a tan.

At that moment, he thinks to himself how long it’s been since he last got laid. He then says to himself, “I’m Superman! I can fly down there in a split...

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic.
Get your treatment for $500. If not cured, get back $1,000."

Doctor Young (who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans
about medicine) thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000
so he went to Dr. Geeze...

How do you know if a person is sad and bored af?

You'll probably see one in the comment section.

A prosthetic technician got bored one afternoon...

Sitting at his desk while working on a replacement ear for a patient, the technician decided to play around with the molds and shapes.

Finding entertainment in making small animals, his supervisor arrived to inspect his progress.

The technician asked, "what do you think about my litt...

I was bored so I made a robot to distribute herbs

It helped pass the thyme

Thor and his pals were bored in Asgard one evening

So they came up with the idea to travel to Earth and go to a nightclub. He bumps into a very attractive girl at the bar and without saying a word, they are in love with each other and start making out. They leave immediately and go back to the girl's place. The passion is intense and they make love ...

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Bored King and the jester

Old joke, not sure if it translates well into English..

King was bored out of his mind. He summoned his court jester and said, “Why am I paying you? I am bored and you haven’t cracked a good joke in years. If you want to keep your job, do something crazy tomorrow. Your explanation for wha...

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Hitler was bored

One day hitler was visiting one of his prisonercamps and he got a bit bored. He ordered a sergeant to bring in 3 prisoners and let them into his office one by one .

The first one arrived and he spoke to him .
Hitler: I'm going to ask you 3 questions , get them all right and you're free to ...

I was bored and hit my Nokia with a hammer, it broke, obviously.

So, I took it to Best Buy to get it fixed, and the woman at the counter said they can't fix hammers.

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Sharon was bored at home with her boyfriend Andrew.

"Andrew, I'm sick of just sitting at home doing nothing. Let's go out for lunch to that nice restaurant." Sharon said.

"That sounds like a great idea", replied Andrew. "BUT... I've already organised to do some gaming with some friends today."

"There is always A BUT! You never put any e...

The CEO of Reddit was bored

He decided to go on his own website to try to entertain himself. After hours of searching for a good subreddit he found one called r/jokes. He scrolled through a couple posts and he had one thing to say.

I Reddit

The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored.

The lion, king of the jungle, was very bored. He gathered all the animals of his kingdom and said:

"Each one of you must tell a joke. The joke must be funny enough to make everybody else laugh. Otherwise, I'll kill the one who told the joke."

The monkey was the first animal who had to ...

The day when my laptop was bored :(

The other day, my laptop asked me "Can we do something **hot,** just turn me on?!"

I replied, "Absolutely!!"

I opened **Android Studio** along with **30 chrome tabs**.

It was the **hottest thing** we ever did.

I was tired and bored one night, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, “What’ll you have?” I said, “Surprise me.”

He showed me a naked picture of my wife.

So i just came back from the ER..

I don’t want to bore you with details, but the “Dyson Ball Cleaner” is a dangerously misleading name.

If you put a bunch of Bored Apes in a room

They’ll eventually churn out a Shakespeare NFT

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar

Sylvester Stallone says, "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says, "Guys, I'm bored of doing action movies too and I've got some ideas but you may not like them."

Sylveste...

Lads if you are bored! Phone up women's rights groups...

And ask to speak to the man in charge.

What does a bored trampoline jumper say?

"Okay, bye. I'm gonna bounce now."

TIFU when my wife asked when I knew I loved her.

I said "We were in Rome, the way you knew so much about the city like it was second nature to you. But I never felt you were condescending to me when I'd ask stupid questions. I saw how much you knew, how passionate you could be. I'd been bored by all the old buildings, but you brought it all to lif...

What did one bored Baker say to the other?

You knead to have fun.

If you re bored during lock down try finally learning the difference between your and you're.

Their, I finally said it.

A guy goes with his girlfriend to stay at her parents’ house for the holidays

The couple live in the city and the parents live on a farm. The boyfriend is unused to the quiet country life and after a couple of days he’s pretty bored. His girlfriend’s father comes in and says “Hey young fella if you’re looking for something to do, why not take the dogs out for a bit of hunting...

Bored on lunch, here's one I tell often.

Two hillbilly kids.. Darla and Buckwheat are at school The teacher asks Darla, 'How do you spell 'dumb'?"
Darla says, "d-u-m-b, dumb."
The teacher says, "Very good. Now use it in a sentence."
She responds, "Buckwheat is dumb."

"Now spell 'stupid'."
Darla says, "s-t-u-p-i-d."
Th...

The sleeper, the pastor and Adam's stick

Mr. Smith and the pastor discuss the problem that Mrs. Smith always falls asleep during the sermon. The pastor gives Mr. Smith a hatpin and recommends that he prick her as soon as he receives a sign from the pastor.

The following Sunday, Mrs. Smith has fallen asleep peacefully, the pastor ask...

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One day St. Peter is getting bored.

He is tired of looking through people's pasts and seeing if they are fit to enter heaven, so he decides that he'll only let someone in if they can make him laugh by telling him how they died.

A man walks up to the gates of heaven, and St. Peter lays down the conditions.

The man says "...

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A husband comes home to his wife after being fired from the pickle factory...

His wife asks him "So what happened?"

The husband explains "I often get bored at work and today my mind was wandering and I thought to myself 'what would happen if I stuck my penis inside the pickle slicer?'"

The wife is clearly blind-sided by this confession and doesn't know what to s...

What’s a termite do when it gets bored?

Oh, you know, anything to break up the mahogany.

Sometimes when I'm bored I put makeup and little wigs on marijuana cigarettes.

That might sound dumb to you, but I think it's pretty dope.

I am getting really bored with this lock-down.

My Wife suggested that I make a bird table.

Now she's kicking off because I put her in fifth place.

JESUS WAS BORED so he went to God, his father and asked him, "Dad, give me something to do, I am bored! "

"Take a file and smooth the top of the Himalayas," said God.
After 7,000 years Jesus came back again. "And now what can I do?" he asked God again.
God gave him a spoon and told him to empty the Indian Ocean.
After 7,000 years, he was back again. "It's done... and now?" he asked God. ...

3 boys in elementary school are bored.

3 boys are in elementary school. During lunch, the boys decide to have a competition. “I can fit my bread roll in my mouth!”, the first boy says confidently, and he does so.

“Thats nothing!” says the second boy, “i can fit TWO dumplings in my mouth!” And he does so with ease.

Unimpre...

So now, I'm, Just Fred

A Wyoming Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.
"Fred," he replies.
"Fred what?" the officer asks.
"Just Fred," the man responds.
The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give t...

Why does a bored chef cut herbs?

He wants to waste thyme!

I’ll let myself out

One day Saint Peter got bored

He decided to begin asking people how they died. A man comes up so saint Peter asked how he died. The man said "I was sure my wife was cheating on me so I came home early from work one day. When I arrived at our apartment I saw my wife in bed and no one with her. I looked everywhere but I could not ...

What do you call it when you are bored on your computer?

I'm KeyBored

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A guy was walking through the woods, and finds a lamp on the ground, he picks it up and rubs it and a genie comes out.

The dude goes "Whoa! A Genie!" And the genie looking really bored is like, "Alright go ahead, you got 2 wishes.." The dudes like, "Only 2? I thought everyone gets 3? What kind of bullshit genie are you?" And the genie says, "Look in your pants." And the guy does and says "Holy crap! My dick is huge!...

Do you ever get bored on the internet

and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?

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Superman is bored...

...because of a lack of crime one day. He starts flying around looking for something to do when he sees Batman. He flies down to Batman and says "Hey Batman, there's no crime today and I'm bored. Do you wanna hang out?"

"I can't. The Batmobile is broken and I have to fix it. Mayby later."
...

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A sadist, a masochist, a zoophile, a necrophile, a pyromaniac and a serial killer are having a stroll in the park.

This merry band of weirdoes and deviants are getting a bit bored. Then the zoophile whispers: "Oooh, I know what we should do. Let's catch a cat!"

The sadist nods approvingly: "Yes! Let's catch a cat... and let's torture it!"

The serial killer licks the blade of his knife, and chimes i...

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