I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet…

I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.

With the boredom of lock-down.

My Wife and I have pinned a map up in the kitchen.

We have one dart each, wherever the dart lands

on the map is our destination for our vacation next

year, turns out, we are going to behind the fridge..

Albert Einstein was sitting next to a man on a train

Trying to break the boredom, Einstein said "let's play a simple game, I ask you a question, if you can't answer, you give me $5, then you ask me a question, if I can't answer, I give you $500"

The man thought for a while and then said ok

Einstein starts by asking the man "what's Newton...

I asked my dad what his parents' generation did to cure boredom before internet and TV existed

Neither him nor his 28 siblings had an answer.

A State Government Employee sits in his office, and out of boredom decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet

He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This would look nice on my mantelpiece," he thinks, so he takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice-cold diet Pepsi right now!" POOF! A Pepsi appears before him ...

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The boredom of self isolation. Day (9)

Did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on top of an empty beer bottle and hold a naked flame to the base, it eventually gets sucked in?

If you did know this, and you know how to get it out, please message me ...............Urgently.

My wife out of pure boredom started doing this new thing during quarantine that I really enjoy.

Me.

Heard a Dr. on TV say to get through the boredom of self isolation we should finish things we start and thus have more calm in our lives.

So I looked through the house to find all the things I’ve started but hadn't finished...so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz.



Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite...

Mr. Waetherman's tips to combating boredom.

Mr. and Mrs. Weatherman are retired. Mrs. Weatherman insists that Mr. Weatherman go with her to Wal-Mart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Weatherman loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store:


Dear Mrs. Weatherman, Ov...

Why does a dyslexic man watch TV in his boredom?

To combat his bedroom.

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“Boredom” is just an anagram of “Bedroom”.

My wife just informed me of that fact while we were having sex.

Two guys are driving together late at night...

They notice a stake in the ground on the side of the road with the letters “RE” on it. “Hmmm” they wonder, “what’s that about?”

They continue on, and they notice another. Then one more.

At this point, the passenger merely sighs out of boredom, and then passes out, exhausted.

Mea...

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A truck driver, a priest, and a lawyer.

Being a truck driver can be very boring. One truck driver has created a game for himself to help stave off the boredom. Every time he sees a lawyer walking on the side of the road, he veers off and runs him over.

One day, the truck driver picks up a hitchhiking priest. The priest is quietl...

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Woodcutting contest

Once upon a time, there was a woodcutting contest. The tasks included plank cutting, stacking and all the sham, everything within 1 hour.


The first contestant shows up.
The jury asks 'Where are you from?'
'I come from England.' the contestant proudly replies.
'Indeed, you...

I took an AP Physics test today and finished early, so I wrote this joke in the test booklet out of boredom

Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving along when they get pulled over.

The police officer asks them if they know how fast they were going.

Heisenberg says, "I'm uncertain."

The officer then asks for them to open the trunk, and they oblige.

"Did you know there is a dead c...

Three men go on a hunting trip in the woods...

They gather around the fire at dusk. They eat and drink and tell stories. Then slowly the fire goes down, and they finish their drinks. The men have no more stories to tell, and boredom starts to take over.

"ENOUGH!" Says the first man, standing up. "We should do something! I bet the two of ...

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One of the best I've ever heard: "The Graveyard Couple"

Mr. and Mrs. Thompkins, who've been very happy together for 12 years, currently, are experiencing a phase of boredom and stagnation. To change things up, Mr. Thompkins gets an idea: Have sex in a near-by graveyard.

With a mix of reluctance and excitement, Mrs. Thompkins agrees and they go off...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

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The Embed

An embed journalist is taken out to a small army outpost a few miles out of a small village in the middle of the desert, to get a firsthand look at how the soldiers lived.

Upon arrival, he’s given a tour by the NCO. He’s shown the mess hall, the water hole, and his tent. Finally, the NCO lead...

Very long.

First off, let me describe to you a little creature.

There lives in the forest a little guy known as a 'Twid'. A Twid resembles nothing so much as a Smurf on psychedelics. They have punked out hair, multi-colored skin, tattoos and piercings. Also, the sole reason for a Twid's existence on th...

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[Long] [NSFW] One warm autumn day,

A man walks into the patent office and slams a stack of papers down triumphantly. "I've bred apples that taste like different fruits, and furthermore, each half of an apple tastes different!"

The patent clerk looks up in boredom, "Sure, sure... But I need to verify the truthfulness of this cl...

Shipwrecked

A married couple were enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island, the only survivors.

Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel but none came. As boredom set in, they star...

There was once a guy who's life was really dull, nothing happened to him...

...one day he was hit by a truck and in his last seconds of life he saw all of the most important moments of his life in a flash, and fell asleep out of boredom.

Three men discover they have each been the victim of a shipwreck at some point in their past.

Three men are talking about their brushes with disaster, and by a stunning coincidence they find that all three of them have, at some point in their lives, been shipwrecked and stranded with the other survivors on a deserted island. They begin to detail their experiences.

"The hardest part wa...

Koale who smokes weed

Long time ago there was a Koala. Sitting on top of his tree where he's always chilling. But today it's different. He is bored as f*ck. So out of boredom he rolled a blunt,

After smoking for like 5 minutes, a lizzard shows up passing by the tree. "Wait, I know that smell. Hey! Watcha doing?" h...

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The Astronomer

An astronomer on an extended lecture tour became weary of delivering the
same lecture night after night.  He confided this state of mind to his
chauffeur as they were driving to their next destination.  The chauffeur
expressed a similar boredom in his line of work.
     "I've got it!" sa...

Jesus and Moses were hanging out in Heaven

Jesus and Moses were hanging out in Heaven when they got to discussing their mutual boredom.

Moses said, "Hey Jesus, you know what we haven't done in a while? Go down to Earth and perform some miracles." Jesus thought that was a swell idea, so the two hopped on a cloud and floated down to a m...

husbands and cricket!

A lady was experiencing labor pains, so her husband rushed her to maternity ward of a nearby hospital.
After sometime, doctor informed that the delivery was successful. The lady gave birth to a healthy baby boy and Both mother and baby are fine. The husband was quite relieved and in-order to k...

Two men travel by train

The journey is very long as they need to cross several European countries. One of them constantly asks at which country they currently are out of boredom. The other man replies correctly by not even looking outside the window.

How do you do that without looking?

Every country has its v...

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20 Truths For Mature Humans

http://nookbank.com/jokes

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap ...

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Yay for bar jokes!

A bartender is bored at work, as it is a slow night. There are far fewer customers than usual, and he still has another two hours before close. One of his patrons is quite drunk, but running low on money. The drunk man says "Hey barkeep! If you give me a free drink, I will recite all 50 states back...

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Two rednecks are bored one day...

and one of them asks the other to play 20 questions to stifle the boredom. The second redneck asks, "How do you play that?" to which the first replies, "Well, I write something down on this piece of paper and you have 20 'yes' or 'no' questions to figure out what it is." The second agrees as the fir...

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