Bleeds Jokes - 12 Hilarious Bleeds Jokes

What bleeds once a month in the mouth?

Me, when I remember to floss once a month.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

A blue collar worker in an industrial accident.

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There was a kid named Billy who always had nose bleeds.

There was a kid named Billy who always had nose bleeds. He could feel it coming 15 seconds before it actually happens. So one day, Billy walks into class and sits at a desk, waiting for the teacher and other students to come to class. A religious kid comes to class and sits next to Billy. Then the t...

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What do you call a british man who bleeds when he faps

A Bloody Wanker

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My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!

 

 

 

### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

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The aussies will understand

Three men are hiking in the Australian outback. One man is an Englishman, another is a Frenchman, and the other is an Aussie man. The men come across a beautiful lake and decide to take a swim. Once they get out they’re greeted by indigenous tribesmen. The leader of the tribe says to the men “you ha...

Why do woman have such bad memories during their period?

Because one day bleeds into the next.

My girlfriend forgot my birthday.

"I lost track of days," she explained. "I blame my period."

"Oh c'mon," I scoffed, "how can you blame your period?"

And she responded, "Because during that time of the month, one day bleeds into the next."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Russian Mafia boss Semion Mogilevich, Japanese Yakuza boss Kenichi Shinoda, American Gangster boss Al Capone and Mexican Cartel boss El Chapo Guzman are in a plane.

They have been on a flight for hours and are all bored.

Mogilevich says: "I'm bored, let's see which mafia has the biggest balls" he looks over at one of his henchman and says "Hey I order you to slit your throat." The henchman does exactly as he says and bleeds out in front of them.

M...

What’s the difference between women and wizards?

One gets wet without water, bleeds without being injured, make boneless things hard and bring new souls into the world from a portal, and the other is an old man with a hat.

I was doing drugs with my friends and we ran out of coke, so we snorted some estrogen.

Now my nose bleeds once a month.

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