I've told this story to many naive greens before me, so self-absorbed in their own notions of human conflict and the meaning of war. Whenever I finish the tale they're always pale as Lyndon B's corrupt lyin' ass. I can't blame 'em. This story kept me up throughout my whole deployment in those damn j...
You say a mesquito bit you and now you have the chills, a high fever and are sweating profusely? That's not funny.
My dad said something earlier that gave me chills.
He said, "I'm turning off the heating."
Walks into a bar...
Paddy walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "sure and begorah I'll be havin' a bit of a nip to ward off the chills." The bartender replies, "But it's 80 degrees outside!" Paddy says, "Aye, but have ye seen the look in my wife's eye lately?"