UPJOKE
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The wife asked if she could wear one of my wife beaters today...

I was like "Yeah, knock yourself out".

Licking the beaters.

I remember my mom baking cakes when I was a kid. She used an electric mixer. If I had been good, when she was done mixing she would let me lick the beaters. If I had been really good she would turn it off first.

What's a Wife Beaters favorite meal?

Battered Fish and Black Eyed Peas.

My wife just got done making some cookie dough.

Wife: "Do you want to lick clean one of the beaters?"
Me: "Does it have raw egg in it?"
Wife: "It does..."
Me: "Well, I could get sick... But that's a whisk I'm willing to take."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An oldie but a goodie

A towns prison was overflowing with inmates, and they were running out of room for new prisoners.

The local police force decided to allow two criminals to be punished by the public for their crimes. One was a wife beater, and the other was a rapist.

There was a queue in front of each c...

Materialistic

A Banker parks his brand new Porsche in front of the office to show it off to his colleagues.
As he's getting out of the car, a lorry comes speeding along too close to the curb and takes off the door before zooming off.

More than a little distraught, the Banker grabs his mobile and calls ...

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