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Jewish Mom buys a new apartment

She calls her son once she is moved in and is gushing about what a nice place she has and invites him to come see it.

Of course he agrees so she starts giving him directions on how to get there.

"Once you park, head straight through the courtyard and you'll see a buzzer for the apartm...

An American, an Australian and an Irishman were on Sale of the Century

It was a close game, and it came down to a three-way tie breaker, so the host said "I want you to finish the song title, and spell it out for me. Old MacDonald had a What?"

The American, quick as a flash, hit his buzzer and said "Ranch. R-A-N-C-H".

"Good spelling, but that's the wrong ...

What did one lab rat say to the other?

*"I've got my scientist so well trained that every time I push the buzzer, he brings me a snack."*

My wife sighed, “Why does everything have to be a game with you?”

I replied, “An excellent question, my dear. But next time, please use the buzzer!”

A Mother superior and two novices were killed in a bus crash.

They soon found themselves at the pearly gates. St. Peter greeted all three.

"Welcome sisters, Mother superior. What a great honor to have you here." he said. Then a little more softly, he said.

"Unfortunately, we've had a few people slipping into heaven disguised as nuns. I'm afraid ...

MLB has decided to rename the “Save”

Now to be called a “Buzzer Beater”

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Jack's wife was in a terrible car accident and is in intensive care.

Jack runs to the hospital, where the doctor tells him, " Research has shown that oral sex will speed a patient's recovery. I strongly urge that you do it."

"You mean-" Jack wonders.

"Yes. I'll instruct the nurses to leave you and your wife alone for the next hour."

Ten minutes l...

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3 friends go to a ski lodge...

But the receptionist at the front dest said that the lodge was over booked, and the friends have to share a room.

After walking in they notice that there’s only one bed. They decide to go to bed early and set their alarms for 6:30am.

The buzzer sounds and they awake. The one on the lef...

To determine once and for all whose superior, God sets Satan and Jesus up with a little contest.

“You will have 12 hours to do the most mundane human task ever,” God starts, “work on a computer! You will create spreadsheets and documents and the like. I will crown the winner!”

With that, Jesus and Satan furiously begin typing away. God keeps their coffee full and rubs their shoulders to ...

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The Gift of Friendship

Bob and Joe, old friends who haven’t seen each other in years, meet unexpectedly.

“Joe!” says Bob.

“Bob!” says Joe, “How are ya? It’s been years!”

“It sure has!” says Bob, “But listen, I’m in a rush right now. Why don’t you come to my place tomorrow and we’ll catch up?”
<...

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The poor little monkey...

Three scientists were discussing what would happen if they rammed a cork up an elephant's butt and force fed it for 2 weeks.
Because the experiment had never been documented and the idea was hard to comprehend, they decided to have a go.
A week in, they began to realize WHY the idea had never ...

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A joke from Finland

Q: What doesn't fit in your butt, and doesn't buzz?
A: A Russian butt buzzer.

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