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Thrower Jokes

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare.

Did you hear about the knife thrower who started using volunteers as a part of his show?

Yea they're a part of his target audience

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I had sex with a flame thrower

To be honest, it was kinda hot

What do you call it when fellow javelin throwers hang out?

A Meet n' Yeet

How can you tell that an axe thrower loves his assistant?

He misses her!

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow thrower?

Give her a shovel.

Jesus heard that...

there was going to be a stoning at the edge of town, so he headed that way.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

The crowd goes silent.

Suddenly, a rock comes flying from the back of the crowd and BOOM, knocks out the offender.

Jesus waves his arm to part ...

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While everyone is arguing over whether it's called a snow blower or a snow thrower, I invented a way to turn a dishwasher into snow removal device.

...
I bought my wife a snow shovel.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

doping olympics [translated from an old Russian anecdote, 2007]

Good day! We are reporting live from our special Olympics. At our Olympics there's no doping control at all. Yes, you heard it right, sportsmen are NOT tested for doping. Absolutely. So...


- Finnish sportsman has jumped 27 meters. A very good result indeed for a chess player.

- 13 ...

Jesus and the woman taken in adultery

The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"

All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarel...

Only married men need apply.

A company has a policy of hiring only married men.

Concerned about this, a local Woman's Liberation Front leader called on the CEO.

She asked him: "Why is it that you limit your employees to married men? It must be because you consider us women as weak, dumb, cantankerous, or do you co...

A deranged man was tossing a brick off of the interstate overpass

He had the brick tied to a rope which he was using to toss at cars, then reel back in, to toss at more cars.

Police surrounded him, telling him to drop the brick. As they started moving in, he tossed the brick again, aiming right at a semi.

The brick crashed through the windshield, ca...

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A famous surgeon...

...is taking patients, one at a time.

First one comes in:

-Doc, I got a problem. I am a professional discus thrower, but recently I lost both my hands in car accident! Help me, Olympic games are just next month!

-Sorry to hear it, but we don't have male hands right now, only f...

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