Everyone on a passenger ship could see a bearded man on a small island

shouting and desperately waving his hands."Who is that man?" a passenger asked the ship's captain. "Why is he so upset?""I have no idea," the Captain replied, "but, every year when we pass by here, he goes crazy."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a large bearded homosexual man with no teeth, who enjoys giving blowjobs?

A gummy bear.

To those bearded men in turbans who tried to convert me to your religion

You make me Sikh!

A bearded jolly-looking fat white man in a red suit and with bandaged stumps where his hands used to be walks into a bar and orders a beer with a straw.

"Who are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "Well I just lost both my hands in a freak sleigh accident last night," the man replies. "So I guess just call me Canta Plaus."

Moses, Jesus and a bearded old man are playing golf.

Moses hits a long one, but it rolls to a river. Moses raises his golf club, the waters part, and the ball rolls into the hole.

Jesus also hits a long one towards the same river, but just as it is about to fall into the water it stops and hovers above it. Jesus walks to the river, and chips it...

This morning, my Grandpa walked into my room with a young bearded guy wearing skinny jeans...

I said "Who is this guy?"

My grandpa replied "My hip replacement!"

Many gardeners mistakenly refer to the short, bearded statues they decorate their gardens with as "Elves".

It's a common misgnomer.

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

Many women object to the restaurant named ‘The Pink Taco’

Personally I would prefer “The Bearded Clam.”

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What do you call a bearded man who makes vases?

A Hairy Potter

Credit to the guy who writes jokes on the whiteboard in my science class.

I don’t get it. People still worship this kind, bearded, rebellious guy who was born like ages ago in the Middle East.

I mean come on. Leave Keanu alone.

Jesus, Moses, and a Bearded Man are playing golf

Jesus starts the game. He hits the ball as hard as he can and it heads straight towards the lake. However, instead of sinking, the ball rolls on the surface of the water. Jesus walks on the lake, hits the ball, and gets it into the hole.

Next is Moses' turn. He hits the ball as hard as he...

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An ex-businessman, now bankrupt, is preparing to jump off a bridge...

As he's about to step into the void, a hand grabs him from behind.


He turns back annoyed and sees that the hand belongs to an old bearded overweight guy.


"Why did you stop me you old fool?"


"Have you gone mad my son? You were about to kill yourself!" The old ma...

Moses,Jesus and a bearded man go golfing one day...

Moses tees off and gives the ball an almighty whack. The ball flies through the air, spins and falls towards a water hazard. Just as the ball is landing, Moses parts the waters and the ball rolls onto the green.

Jesus goes next. He hits the ball straight towards the water again, but just befo...

If a bearded man makes vases...

Is he a hairy potter?

A bearded guy

A bearded, middle-eastern guy boards a plane. As soon as he enters he shouts "hijack!". All the passengers are scared to death. Some start crying. Then a white guy from the back stands up and says "oh hi Ahmed, didn't expect to see you here.."

Jesus, Moses, and a bearded guy are all playing golf together

They get to the first hole and it's a long one with a big deep water hazard in the middle. Par 4

Jesus takes a shot. It lands on this tiny patch of dirt on the right edge of the hazard. Jesus doesn't want to take a penalty for a drop and he stinks at shooting left handed so he decides to just...

There was a scientific study showing that bearded men are more attractive...

...than bearded women.

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf

Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s about to land in the center, it hovers above the surface. ...

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are all golfing...

It’s a par 5 and Moses hits his tee shot first and it lands in the fairway.

Jesus hits his tee shot also in the fairway but a little further than Moses’s.

The old bearded guy steps up and shanks his tee shot way to the right. The ball bounces off a tree in to a pond where a turtle gr...

Just punched an old bearded fat guy at the mall..

I passed infront of him and he happily looked at me and called me a "Ho" 3 times.

So rude!

Jesus, Moses, and an old bearded guy are playing golf...

Moses steps up first and lands his ball in a water hazard. He then proceeds to part the water where the ball is and lands it in the hole.

Jesus hits his ball and also lands it in the water hazard. So he walk on the water, picks it up, places it on a nearby lily pad and also lands it in the h...

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What Do You Call a Bearded Man Whose Idea of Paradise is 72 Virgins?

Richard Branson.

My wife applied for the bearded woman circus attraction

I explained the position requires her to be a woman

A drunken bearded man is stumbling around outside a bar . . .

"I'm Jesus Christ! I am Jesus Christ!" He's yelling. No one bothers with him as he paces around waving his arms. Finally a man walks up, "I'm Jesus Christ" he yells at the man. "Ok" says the man "prove it and I'll give you 10 dollars." So the drunk nods and walks into the bar. "OH JESUS CHRIST!" Say...

A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.

She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door.
She proclaimed, "I want to join your biker club." The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. ...

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