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A Hippie sits next to a young Nun on the bus and asks her if he could have sex with her?

The Nun, very upset, says “NO! I am married to God!!" and gets off the bus disgusted.

The bus driver sees all this. He tells the hippie “She prays every Tuesday night at midnight in the graveyard...
why don't you dress up in a hooded robe; go to the graveyard and tell her you are God and d...

What do you call a hippies wife?

Mississippi

How do you know if a hippie’s been in your house?

They’re still still there.

The Naked Hippie

This joke is one i came up with to annoy my wife. She hates it lol.

A naked man walks into a tailor's shop. The tailor screams at him. "Hey, get out of my store! You can't come in here like that." The man replies, "awww, c'mon dude....cut me some slacks."


The end

What's the difference between a hippie and a hockey player

A hockey player takes a shower after 3 periods

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A hippie walks into a bar

The hippie sits down at the bar and asks for a beer on a tab, but doesn't have any money so the bartender says no. The guy next to him offers to buy him a beer. They start talking and drinking and getting along great. After awhile the guy says to the hippie, "come with me to the bathroom and I'll gi...

What do you call the wife of a hippie?

Mississippi.

What's the difference between a pizza and a hippie chick?

You don't peel the crust off the pizza before you eat it

Jesus and a Hippie (one of the Best ewer)

Jesus Christ is walking on the beach, a beautiful sunset is in the making...

He meets a hippie who is rolling a joint and sits himself next to him.



Jesus: what are you doing?

Hippie: rolling a joint, wanna smoke some?

Jesus: hmmm... i only smoke good weed, you kn...

Why did the hippie drown?

He was too far out man..

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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?

The hippie girl gets stoned before sex.

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A hippie enters the bus...

Upon entering the bus he spots a nun in the back sitting quietly. He comes up to her and says:
.

-Yoo girl wanna have sex ?
.

The nun started screaming and left at the next bus stop. Te bus driver saw that, called the hippie and said
.

-Hey man, I know a way you can ha...

What does a hippie get on his blood test?

B positive.

What do you call hippie Mexican people who love to gamble?

Las Vegans

Why didn't the life guard save the drowning hippie?

because he was too far out man!

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(OC) A Hippie walks by a businessman...

A Hippie is walking by and sees a businessman looking over some construction that had been started on a plot of land. The Hippie is alarmed and exclaims "What are you doing?!"

The businessman responds by saying that this piece of land was bought by his company. The land was good and the found...

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For all those who don't get the bus driver comments on every post here

First off, I know this is an old joke. It's like the oldest joke. But on every other joke that's posted on this sub, it gets referenced, and there's always at least one reply who doesn't get it. I've explained the reference to like 4 people today and this seems like a better solution. So here it i...

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What do you call a clever, socially awkward, bisexual hippie with fancy neckwear who streams Star-Trek?

A shy, wry, bi guy in a fly tie and tie dye watching sci-fi on wifi.

Credits: my bud

What's the difference between a burner and a hippie? (Burning Man)

A ticket

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A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle.

A Hippie was walking along the beach line when he kicked a bottle. Suddenly a genie burst forth and yelled,

"YOU HAVE FREED ME FROM MY 1000 YEAR PRISON, WHAT DO YOU DESIRE? I WILL GIVE YOU THREE WISHES!"

The Hippie looks at the genie and says, "Cool man. I want too be Uptight, Out of s...

Why do hippie chicks eat with their legs open?

To keep the flies off the food

What's the difference between a washing machine and a hippie chick

A washing machine won't follow you around for 3 weeks asking to get spun after you dump your load in it

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A hippie was travelling in through the Middle East when his passport and wallet are stolen, leaving him stranded with only the shirt on his back and his trusty guitar.

After a couple of days roughing it on the streets, he decides to play his guitar and busk for money.

He starts strumming out a tune and a small crowd gathers round. As he continues, one of the men from the crowd starts dancing and jiving infront of him.

The hippie finishes his song and...

Q: how many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: hippies don’t screw in light bulbs. They screw in dirty sleeping bags.

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One day a hippie gets a ride on the public bus and sees a hot young nun.

He sits down next to her and
promptly asks if she would like to
have Sex, to which she immediately
says NO and walks off the bus.
The Bus Driver leans over and says
"Hey guy I know how to get that nun
to have Sex with you..."
Naturally the Hippie asks, and the
Bus Dri...

Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"

I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"



That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

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A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun.....

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat.
The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop.
When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If ...

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Where do you drown a hippie?

In the mainstream (I know it was terrible)

How Many Baby Boomers does it take to explain a hippie joke to a Millennial?

"I'm offended"

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A dirty hippie gets on the city bus

He finds an open seat and sits across from a nun.

Looking at the nun he finds her extremely attractive and says "I would like to have Sex with you"

Appalled the nun gets up and gets off the bus at the nearest stop.

The bus driver notices this and says to the hippie "I know ho...

Why is it so hard to get rid of a hippie?

When you ask them if they want to go home, they usually say "Namaste"

What did the hippie farmer plant in his backyard

Some sweet peas

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

As an ex-hippie I think dirt is groovy, man.

I really dig it.

Hippie jokes

Q: How can you tell a hippie has been at your house?

A: He's still there.

Q: What did he say when you told him to leave?

A: Namaste.
___________________
Q: What's the difference between a hippie chick and a joint?

A: The joint won't make it all the way around the ci...

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My favorite jokes.

1.
A hippie walks into a bus and sees a very sexy nun. He walks up to her and says, "Hey there, wanna have sex?" The nun is grossed out and walks out of the bus. As the hippie is about to leave the bus driver calls him over an tells him, "Dude i saw you hitting on the nun. Well just to let you kn...

Did you hear about the unfaithful hippie?

She was stoned to death.

Whats the difference between a hippie and a mutual fund.

Eventually a mutual fund matures and gains profit

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A hippie goes up to a nun...

...on the bus and begins to flirt with her. Things do not go well and she turns him down and leaves. Disappointed, the man gets off in the next stop, but just before he does the bus driver stops him. "Hey man, look, if you want to get with the nun you have to be smart about it."

"what can I ...

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A Hippie walks into a bus...

At the back he sees a nun and he asks her

"Hey, you wanna fuck?"

The nun responds saying

"Heavens no!"

And then she walks out of the bus.
The hippie was about to go after her when the bus driver says

"I see you're trying to fuck that nun, well this is what you'...

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The Hippie and the Nun.

One day, a nun is sitting on a bus. A hippie saunters over and says "Hey lady, wanna have sex with me?" The nun politely declines and gets off the bus on the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard this conversation, stopped to talk to the hippie before he got off.

"Ya know, that nu...

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A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun...

A hippie gets on a bus and spies a pretty young nun. He sits down next to her, and asks her: "Can we have sex?"

"No," she replies, "I'm married to God."She stands up, and gets off at the next stop.

The bus driver, who overheard, turns to the hippie and says "I can tell you how to get t...

What does a hippie king and rancid precipitation have in common?

Acid Reign

What did the hippie say when he was asked to leave the couch he was sleeping/staying on?

Namastè (nah-ima-stay)

How can you see if a hippie has a girlfriend?

He has one clean finger

A hippie was walking along the road ...

...when he saw a big rock by the side of the road, wobbling. Being a strong hippie, he picked up the rock to see what was underneath.
To his surprise, out jumped a leprechaun!

"To be sure, I am grateful to ye, lad!" he cried. "And in return for your kindness I will grant you three magic ...

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

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Hippie and the nun

One day, a hippie enters a bus and sits down beside a nun. He asks her if they want to have sex but she declines saying: "Jesus is my master and he forbids me to have sex with you."
The next day, the hippie asks her again but she refuses again. Before he leaves the bus, the busdriver holds him ba...

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One day, a hippie gets on a bus...

He sees a beautiful nun and sits next to her. He turns too the nun and says, ''Will you have sex with me?'' Surprised by the question, the Noun answers,''No!'' and gets off at the next stop.

After she gets off the bus the bus driver turns to the Hippie and says,''I over heard your conversatio...

A hippie walks into a restaurant...

and the waitress comes up to take his order.

"Whaddya want?" she asks.

"Gimme a cheeseburger" he replies.

"How you want it cooked?"

"Oh, you know, not too rare, not too done, you know, in the groove!"

She dutifully writes it down, and asks "What...

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

What's the difference between a hippie girl and a can of beans?

You would still eat the beans after a month in the woods

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