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Turban Jokes

A man wakes up one morning to find that he's grown a thick beard and is wearing a turban....

He, being very concerned and disoriented, calls his boss in order to see if he can get the day off.

Man: "Boss, I just woke up with a turban and a long, thick beard. I think I need a day to figure things out."

Boss: " So what are you saying....?"

Man: "I'm calling in Sikh."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dylan was practicing his golf swing in his front yard when he swung a little too hard and sent the ball through his neighbors window. He rang the bell but nobody answered so he opened the door to see an old lamp lying near broken glass and a huge fat Arabian man wearing a turban sitting on the couch

Dylan asked, "Who are you?" The fat man replied, "I am a genie you have freed from that lamp."

Dylan questioned, "Oh man, do I get three wishes?" The genie replied, "Since you freed me by accident you only get two and I get one."

Dylan thought about it and realized what he wanted, "I w...

Did you hear about the turban-wearing rapper?

He was laying down some Sikh beats.

What's the opposite of being able to wrap your head around something?

A turban :D

(It's my joke, MINE! If anyone *ever* wants to repost this, give me credit!)

To those bearded men in turbans who tried to convert me to your religion

You make me Sikh!

Why did the Indian set his friend's turban on fire?

It was a sikh joke.

What do you call an insult from an Indian man in a Turban?

A Sikh Burn!

I tried on a turban for the first time today ...

Made me feel a bit Sikh

I misplaced something at the office. A nice man in a turban helped me locate it. I guess it's true what they say.

Sikh and you shall find.

(edit: same man teased me about the pronunciation. It was good natured, but it was still a Sikh burn)

(also a comma)

Did you hear about the new camouflage turban?

It helps you hide and Sikh.

I saw a guy with a turban coughing his brains out

I think he might be Sikh

My buddy went to get a tattoo of an Indian on his back...

Half way through he said "Don't forget to put a big tomahawk in his hand."

The tattooist said "Hang on pal, I've only just finished his turban."

How many guys wearing turbans does it take to change a light bulb?

Sikhs.

I hate it when people stereotype. Just because I'm wearing a turban and have a beard doesn't make me Muslim...

...Makes me Sikh!

I asked a man in a turban why he wasn't fasting

He told me you don't have to fast for Ramadan if you are Sikh.

Why do you never want to call a middle eastern man with a turban a Muslim?

Because they are Sikh and tired of it!

What's your favorite game if you wear a turban?

Hide-and-Sikh

I'm going to make a movie about a guy in a turban who turns into a monster at night...

...it'll be called "Hyde & Sikh".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two turbaned Punjabies Kuldip and Jagdip went to Paris and made friends with a young Frenchman named Jean Paul.

For several weeks these two stooges went everywhere Jean Paul went. One day Jean Paul went missing. These two looked everywhere for days but could not find Jean Paul. So they went to the Police and reported that Jean Paul is missing.

Policeman: Can you describe your friend Jean Paul?
Kul...

The news is talking about the prison sentences of nearly half a dozen turban-wearing men who committed some minor felonies

"One to Three for Five Sikhs"

I was invited to a party and was told "dress to kill"

Apparently a turban, beard, and a backpack wasn't what they had in mind

How did my son win a Turban at school today?

He was the champion of Hide and go Sikh

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man and his makeshift turban go to see the doctor

"What seems to be the problem?"

The man slowly unravels his makeshif turban to reveal... a fully grown phallus growing out of the middle of his forehead.

"Ahem, how long has this being going on for Sir?"

"It's been growing for around 3 months. Can you fix it Doctor? What on Ea...

How do the Taliban power their aircraft?

Wind Turbans

What do you call the indoor trampoline park in Iraq?

Turban Air

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

Two guys are in a locker room when one guy notices the other guy has a cork in his ass.

He says, "How'd you get a cork in your ass?"

The other guy says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over a lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a red man in a turban came oozing out. ...

Genie Wish

A couple is playing golf when the man hits a wild shot that shatters the window of a nearby house. The couple head up to the door to apologize and offer to replace the window. To their surprise, a tall, handsome, mustachioed man in a turban answers. Before the couple can speak, the turbaned man says...

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I saw a huge spider wearing a turban and carrying an AK-47 yesterday and I shit myself.

I'm guessing I have Iraqnophobia.

What do you call an Indian robot killer from the future?

Turbanator.

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

How is the Middle East not leading the world in wind energy...

... they have almost one turban per person.

Why was the Sikh man in the hospital?

He wasn't just Sikh, he was turbanally ill.

(I'm sorry)

Where can Sihks and Muslims buy headwear?

Turban Outfitters.

What do you call a website full of common Indian phrases and slang?

Turban Dictionary

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase.

He pulls up a stool at the bar and orders a drink. He opens his briefcase and a tiny little man about a foot tall climbs out, hauls out a tiny little piano behind him, sits down on a little stool and commences playing a flawless Chopin etude. All this time the guy down the bar is staring in amazem...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Pope flies out to Canada

The Pope is visiting Canada For the first time in a very long while. He has two stops before he leaves; Ottawa and Toronto.

So the Pope lands in Toronto and steps out of his plane and looks about. He sees an entire crowd of people waiting to see him.

As he looks out into the crowd it a...

Did you hear about Fallout Boy's newest headwear?

Yeah, now their selling Uma Turbans

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am truly perplexed that so many people are against mosques being built.

I think it should be the goal of every Western Society to be tolerant regardless of their religious beliefs. Thus mosques should be allowed, in an effort to promote tolerance.

That is why I also propose that two nightclubs be opened next door to the mosque, thereby promoting tolerance from w...

A young married couple are out golfing together...

The man heads up to the first tee box with his driver and takes the biggest, hardest swing he can muster. As you'd expect from an amateur golfer, the ball slices hard right and off the fairway, breaking a window in a nearby house. Slightly embarrassed, the man says to his wife, "Well I feel bad. We'...

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