I recently bought a bidet

I recently bought a bidet and its been a-hole new experience!

Tried a bidet for the first time today

It was a blast!

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I just installed a bidet

Now I can care less about the shits I give

I’m so glad I installed a bidet on my toilet.

These are the kind of investments that are right up my alley!

I want to get a bidet

Wiping is a pain in the ass

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Every toilet is a bidet

You just have to poop hard enough

I was so poor, we couldn't afford a bidet.

I had to do hand stands in the shower.

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I finally got to go to the dentist for the first time since the pandemic started…

The doctor was shocked at how clean my teeth were but said my breath smelled like shit and he couldn’t figure out why.

He asked if I’d been brushing regularly and I said yes.

He asked if I flossed regularly and I said as much as I normally do.

He asked if I changed my diet an...

Simple way to explain a bidet

Water go shooty shooty at your booty booty

I just bought a hot water bidet

Real pain in the ass

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How do Australians clean their butts?

Bidet, mate.

I don't know what's the big deal about bidets.

The sink's been right there the whole time and you barely have to hop up at all.

Why did the junkie buy a bidet?

He wanted to shoot crack

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The Australian figured out the button on the toilet did, it was not going to be a g'day

In fact, it was the start of a bidet

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I got one of those fancy butt sprayers for my toilet, but it never works at night...

I guess I can only use it bidet.

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What does a bidet and 46th US President-Elect Biden have in common?

They both clean up after assholes

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During the toilet paper shortage of the pandemic I found out a way to massively save money on toilet paper

Firstly I bought a bidet add-on kit for my toilet. But the biggest impact on my toilet paper usage has been that I just quit giving a shit.

Someone asked me if I was stocked up...

...on toilet paper and bottled water.

I told them that I had just gotten a bidet, so I’ll be set for both.

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A poor African man is walking across the desert

He's lost, thirsty and completely hopeless. At one point he finds a magical lamp, and a genie pops out of it.

The African man is completely awe struck, and falls to his knees. "I will grant you three wishes!" The genie says.

The African man replies "I would like a lot of water, a lot o...

To everyone buying up tons of toilet paper:

You should get a bidet. It'd be right up your alley.

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What do you call Australian tourists having sex in a Japanese restroom?

Bidet mate

What did the Aussie say when his friend ran out of TP?

Bidet mate!

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An American Tourist in Japan

An American tourist is in dire need of a toilet while waiting in the lobby of a Japanese hotel. The men's room in the lobby has an enormous line, while the ladies' room is completely empty. Desperate, the man goes up to the manager and says, "I'm sorry, but I really, really need a toilet, would you ...

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