Bass Guitar Jokes - 13 Hilarious Bass Guitar Jokes

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What's the difference between playing bass guitar and masturbating?

At least people remember you if you masturbate on stage

What’s the difference between Netflix and a Bass guitar?

Netflix has Stranger Things 4 and a Bass guitar has 4 Strange Strings.

My son recently started bass guitar lessons.

My son recently started bass guitar lessons.
"How was your first bass lesson, son?" I asked.
"Great!" He said. "I learned The E note!"
After the next lesson I asked, "How was your second bass lesson, son?"
"Great! I learned the A note!" He replied.
After the next lesson I asked "Ho...

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So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

Bass guitar is so easy to learn...

...Even bass* players can do it.

*For bass players the joke is you’re dumb.

What do you call a thick, sticky liquid that also can’t play bass guitar?

SID VISCOUS!

A bass guitar and an oboe had an affair.

It was very low key.

A horse is sitting at home, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the m...

What instrument do fish play?

The bass guitar

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Once upon a time...

A horse lived on a farm with a pig, a sheep, and a cow. Now these were no ordinary barnyard animals - for they were bestowed the miracle of Disney animal anthropomorphism - subsequently, the farmer was very happy to have these animals in his posession and the people who came afar to see them made hi...

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A couple with a rough patch go to councelling

A married couple hit a rough patch, so they book to see a relationship counsellor. The counsellor tries a few therapy techniques, but nothing works, it's like talking to two brick walls. Finally, he picks up a bass guitar and starts to play, simple at first, then gradually more and more intricate. T...

Horse, Chicken, Cow

So there is this horse, he is watching TV and sees this really awesome band. He really zeroes in on the lead guitarist. He wants to learn so bad. So he calls the local music instructor and asks if he can teach him to play the guitar. So after a few months, the horse plays exactly like his favori...

A man wants to audition for a band...

The band has advertised that they're looking for a drummer. The man comes to the tryout, fully prepared with a truck full of instruments and his drum sticks. He waited in a long line to get through the door, and when it was finally his turn, he was ecstatic! The woman who was holding the tryouts ask...

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