The 78+ Best Drummer Jokes

What did the drummer call his twin daughters ?

Anna One, Anna Two

We kicked the drummer out if the band because his timing was awful.

He was so upset he went to the station and threw himself behind a train.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pissed-off drummer is tired of people saying he's not a real musician.

Goes to the music store and says, "I'll show
'em. Gimme that red trumpet and that accordion."

Music store guy says, "You can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator has to stay."

How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your front door?

The knocking is out of time and they don't know when to come in.

How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

10.

1 to change the bulb and 9 to tell you how much better they could've done it

Why can’t George W Bush get hired as a drummer?

Because most songs are in 4/4 but Bush only does 9/11

How do you know when a drummer is knocking on your door? (What are your favorite musician jokes?)

The knocking gets faster as it goes on.

You hear a knock on your door, you open it to find a bass player standing there. What do you do?

Pay him for the pizza!

Two drummers walk past a bar...

How do you get a guitar player to play softer?
Put ...

Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*

How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*

Why did the bassist keep drumstick...

What do you call the drummer that just broke up with his girlfriend?

Homeless.

What did the drummer name his children?

Anna 1, Anna 2

What chairs do drummers use to drum in?

A rocking chair.

Kid says to mom “when I grow up I wanna be a drummer!”

Mom says “you can’t do both!”

What's a drummer's favorite vegetable?

Beats

A drummer got a tattoo of their drum kit... [OC]

...it was very cymbalic

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

How do drummers brush their teeth?

With tooth Paiste

What do you call a beautiful girl on a drummer's arm?

A tattoo.

How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
Homeless

Have you tell if the stage Riser is even?
Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

What's the difference between a drummer and a percussionist?
Evolution, the percussionist ha...

What does a ska drummer do when they drop a stick?

Pickitup pickitup pickitup!

My family's favorite drummer jokes.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they have machines for that now.

What did the drummer say before he was kicked out of the band?

Hey, I thought I'd share some song ideas I've written.

How do you count drummers?

1, 2 ... 1, 2, 3, 4.

A good drummer, a bad drummer, a trumpeter and a clarinetist are standing im each corner of a football field

You throw $100 in the middle of the field. Who gets the money first?

The bad drummer. There are no good drummers, the trumpeter doesn’t move for just 100 bucks and the clarinetist didn’t understand the game.

My Grandad was the best drummer in the world

He used to practice 18 hours a day, seven days a week, every day of the year.
Morning, noon, and night he'd be banging away with his sticks, so dedicated he was, he didn't even have a set of drums, preferring instead to play on old biscuit tins, bottles, anything he could lay his hands on.
He ...

What’s the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?

You only need to punch instructions into a drum machine once.

One armed drummer tells a dad joke,

Badum...

After an orchestra drummer performed particularly poorly, the conductor sarcastically told him, "when they find someone who can't play any instrument, they give him two sticks and make him the drummer."

The drummer retorted, "and if he can't play that either, they take away one stick and make him the conductor."

A drummer gave birth to quadruplets. She wanted to name them all Anna

“How are we goman tell them apart?” asked her husband.
She replied “Anna 1, Anna 2...”

A drummer got sentenced to prison for repeatedly beating up people.

He got his repercussions.

How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

How do you know a hat belongs to a little drummer boy?

It has a proper pom-pom, proper pom-pom, proper pom-pom

Little drummer Boy grew up and became a father to twin girls:

Anna 1, Anna 2

Why are drummers impulsive?

They never consider the repercussions.

A drummer needed a car, but only had $200

A drummer desperately needed a car, any car, to get to work, but he only had $200. He called his friend who owned a used car lot and explained the situation.

“You’re in luck,” the friend told the drummer. “I’ve got a brand new Jaguar. Runs great. Looks great. For you, only $200. One small pr...

What is a drummers favorite time of day?

12:34!

With all this quarantining we have to be especially careful of drummers

When this is over they’re gonna come out thinking they can play guitar and sing

I'm addicted to being a bad drummer

I wanted to quit but I just couldn't beat it.

My flatmate is a drummer and his practicing has been getting on my nerves

I told him that if he didn't stop, there'd be repercussions.

What's the difference between a chiropodist and a drummer?

One of them bucks up your feet and the other....

February 1st, 1234 AD must’ve been the birth of the worlds best drummer

One / two / one two three four!

What’s the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

Who is the drummer for the Austrialian Beatles cover band?

ɹɐʇs oƃuᴉp

How many jokes are there about drummers?

At least a zildjian

A band's drummer decides to quit

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.

It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

"Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs..."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I ran into the drummer from my old high school garage band...

After the usual "we should get the band back together" bullshit, we started talking about how life has been over all these years gone by.

I told him my wife (coincidentally, also a guitar player) and I have 6 happy and healthy kids now. And how, oh so cleverly, we named them after the common ...

What does coffee share in common with Ginger Baker (drummer)?

They both suck without CREAM

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse...

... sees a rock band perform and thinks "Hey, I could do that." The horse calls up his local music store and is like "I wanna learn guitar, just one problem, I'm a horse." The employee says "don't worry we can do that." The horse goes, learns guitar for a few months, gets really good, and is pretty ...

What do you call a drummer who can’t play in time?

A Russian dragon.

When I was a kid I told my mother I wanted to grow up and be a drummer

And she said "Well honey, you can't do both"

How do you catch a drummer?

By laying down a snare.

A drummer was standing outside of his car panicking because he accidentally locked his keys inside it.

It was a very hot sunny day and the bassist was still inside the car.

In early The Who gigs their drummer would sometimes go on stage dressed in nothing but a layer of blue paint. However, he didn't do it too often.

In fact, it would only happen once in a blue Moon.

How do you know a drummer is at the door?

Three taps and he comes in late.

One-night stands are great with drummers

As opposed to guitarists, there's no strings attached.

Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.

Hey guys, let me know if you hear about any recently deceased drummers....

....No Rush....

What do you call the Beatles' drummer when in Mexico?

Gringo Starr

What was the last thing the drummer said to the band?

Listen to this guys I wrote us a song.

-curtesy of Dave Grohl

What does a drummer use for contraception?

Their personality !

When I was in band, there was this one drummer who just kept on swearing...

... they were always per-cussin'.

What's your favorite drink to have during Christmas time? Mine is the Little Drummer Boy.

It's 1 part rum, 3 parts pum.

Why did the drummer's wife stop sleeping with him?

Because he used to snare in his sleep.

Dad joke... Indian drummer

Cowboys are sitting around a campfire when they hear dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, one cowboys says to the others, I don't like the sound of that drum... A indian brave hollars from the woods.. we don't either but our regular drummer is out sick.

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

And amateur drummer dies and goes to heaven.

Standing outside the Pearly Gates he hears the best drum solo he is ever heard. He asks St Peter "Is that Buddy Rich?" St Peter response "No that's God, he just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Two. ...And a-one two three four!

What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?

A headbanger

I was going to make a joke about drummers but, um,

tsss!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a drummer and a toilet seat?

A toilet seat only has to put up with one arsehole at a time.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummers car?

Take the Domino's sign off the roof.

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

what's the name of those people who are frequently around musicians??

drummers

I once met a drummer who's timing was so bad, he began to get depressed...

Eventually, he threw himself behind a train.

How do you know if the stage is level?

The drummer is dribbling out of both sides of his mouth.

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that...

...my true love was arrested for human trafficking.

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

Irr-elephant

Hahahaha

What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna-one, Anna-two.

Buhahahahaha.

Musician's Joke: The guitarist of a band walks into their rehearsal room and sees the bassist and the drummer having an argument

Guitarist: "Why are you arguing?"

Bassist: "The drummer detuned one of my strings."

Guitarist: "So what's the problem?"

Bassist: "He won't tell me which one!"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.