What did the drummer name his children?

Anna 1, Anna 2

A band's drummer suddenly dies

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.


It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer

Drummer jokes.

What does an unsatisfied wife and any band with a drummer have in common? Both would be better off with a battery operated replacement.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Drummer, who had never touched a groupie

So there was this rock 'n roll band and, as it is often the case with rock 'n roll bands, the drummer was considered hottest by the female fanbase. Weirdly enough however, he had never slept with any groupie.

So, one day, the band's manager walks into his dressing room and asks him "So what'...

What do you do with a drummer that can't keep a beat?

Take away one stick and make him a conductor.

What do you do if he still can't keep a beat?

Take away his last stick and make him a choir director.

Who is the drummer for the Austrialian Beatles cover band?

ɹɐʇs oƃuᴉp

When I was in band, there was this one drummer who just kept on swearing...

... they were always per-cussin'.

In early The Who gigs their drummer would sometimes go on stage dressed in nothing but a layer of blue paint. However, he didn't do it too often.

In fact, it would only happen once in a blue Moon.

Dad joke... Indian drummer

Cowboys are sitting around a campfire when they hear dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, one cowboys says to the others, I don't like the sound of that drum... A indian brave hollars from the woods.. we don't either but our regular drummer is out sick.

If the drummer is also the lead singer...

... Whose couch does he sleep on?

A drummer was standing outside of his car panicking because he accidentally locked his keys inside it.

It was a very hot sunny day and the bassist was still inside the car.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

What’s the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your front door?

The knocking is out of time and they don't know when to come in.

What's your favorite drink to have during Christmas time? Mine is the Little Drummer Boy.

It's 1 part rum, 3 parts pum.

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

How do you catch a drummer?

By laying down a snare.

What are the last words of a drummer, before he gets fired from the band?

"Hey guys, I wrote some songs"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a drummer and a toilet seat?

A toilet seat only has to put up with one arsehole at a time.

What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia?

A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A one, a two, a one-two-three-four

I was going to make a joke about drummers but, um,

tsss!

And amateur drummer dies and goes to heaven.

Standing outside the Pearly Gates he hears the best drum solo he is ever heard. He asks St Peter "Is that Buddy Rich?" St Peter response "No that's God, he just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

Have you all heard the joke about the drummer with no punch line?

Ba dum tsss

I once met a drummer who's timing was so bad, he began to get depressed...

Eventually, he threw himself behind a train.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummers car?

Take the Domino's sign off the roof.

What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?

A headbanger

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that...

...my true love was arrested for human trafficking.

A soldier, a pacifist and a band are on an airplane

Suddenly the plane starts falling from the sky.

The pilot shouts: "There's too much weight! Somebody has to jump!"

The soldier stands up and walks to the door: "It would be an honour to protect all of you."

He jumps.

The airplane keeps falling. Soon the pilot shouts again...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

Musicians are perverts.

The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly fingering minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.

The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain

Paul was the heart

George was the spirit

Ringo was the drummer

A man asks a bartender: "How late does the band play?"

"Only about half a beat behind the drummer." The bartender replies.

Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c...

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?

A Tattoo.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better.

Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*

How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*

Why did the bassist keep drumstick...

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

Some musician jokes

Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?

A. No one would look for them.

Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?

A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster with...

What did the drummer get on his test?

Drool

How do you get a drummer off your doorstep?

You pay for the pizza.

Musician's Joke: The guitarist of a band walks into their rehearsal room and sees the bassist and the drummer having an argument

Guitarist: "Why are you arguing?"

Bassist: "The drummer detuned one of my strings."

Guitarist: "So what's the problem?"

Bassist: "He won't tell me which one!"

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

My collection of drummer jokes.

My brother is a drummer and I used these jokes on him all the time. These are a few I remember.

What do you do when a drummer knocks on your door? Pay for the pizza

How do you know if the stage is level? The drummer drools out of both sides of his mouth

Why is there a drummer in...

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time?

Drummers.

Who is the drummer for the Mexican Beatles?

Gringo Starr

Never marry a drummer...

they beat things for a living.

Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show?

He locked the bass player in the car.

How can you tell when the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth.

What's the most common blood type among drummers?

Heroin.

Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

metro gnomes

Did you hear about the drummer who fell and hit his head?

He was percussed.

A mailman is baffled at how to mail a letter addressed "to the greatest drummer in the world."

So what is he supposed to do? He's gotta send it. He hoofs it back to the post office, and shows it to his boss. The boss says, "come on man, send it to Chick Webb." So he does.

Chick Webb, the bandleader from Baltimore, sees the letter on his kitchen table and says, "Jesus! That can't be for...

What type of seat does a Drummer sit on?

A percushion

what do you call a rock group with no bassist, drummer, singer or guitarist?

Mount Rushmore

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