Did you hear about the drummer who gave his daughters all the same name?

Anna 1
Anna 2
Anna 3
Anna 4

Drummer jokes.

What does an unsatisfied wife and any band with a drummer have in common? Both would be better off with a battery operated replacement.

What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?

A drummer

Did you hear about the drummer that got kicked out of his band for having horrible timing?

He got so depressed that he threw himself behind a speeding bus!

What was the last thing the drummer said to the band?

Listen to this guys I wrote us a song.


-curtesy of Dave Grohl

What does a drummer use for contraception?

Their personality !

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?

Homeless

Why did the drummer's wife stop sleeping with him?

Because he used to snare in his sleep.

How do you know when a bass player and drummer are at your front door?

The knocking is out of time and they don't know when to come in.

What's your favorite drink to have during Christmas time? Mine is the Little Drummer Boy.

It's 1 part rum, 3 parts pum.

A band's drummer suddenly dies

So the band has to audition for new drummers. They interview a bunch of people, and they decide to play a gig with the best one that night to see if he'll work out.


It goes great, except after every song, the new drummer says something like "You gotta brush your teeth or else you'll get g...

What do you do with a drummer that can't keep a beat?

Take away one stick and make him a conductor.

What do you do if he still can't keep a beat?

Take away his last stick and make him a choir director.

Who is the drummer for the Austrialian Beatles cover band?

ɹɐʇs oƃuᴉp

How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Two. ...And a-one two three four!

In early The Who gigs their drummer would sometimes go on stage dressed in nothing but a layer of blue paint. However, he didn't do it too often.

In fact, it would only happen once in a blue Moon.

A drummer was standing outside of his car panicking because he accidentally locked his keys inside it.

It was a very hot sunny day and the bassist was still inside the car.

When I was in band, there was this one drummer who just kept on swearing...

... they were always per-cussin'.

Dad joke... Indian drummer

Cowboys are sitting around a campfire when they hear dum dum dum dum dum dum dum dum, one cowboys says to the others, I don't like the sound of that drum... A indian brave hollars from the woods.. we don't either but our regular drummer is out sick.

What’s the difference between a professional drummer and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

How do you catch a drummer?

By laying down a snare.

If the drummer is also the lead singer...

... Whose couch does he sleep on?

What do you call a head injury at a drummer's convention in Moscow, Russia?

A concussion at the Russian percussion discussion.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a drummer and a toilet seat?

A toilet seat only has to put up with one arsehole at a time.

How do you improve the aerodynamics of a drummers car?

Take the Domino's sign off the roof.

I was going to make a joke about drummers but, um,

tsss!

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

And amateur drummer dies and goes to heaven.

Standing outside the Pearly Gates he hears the best drum solo he is ever heard. He asks St Peter "Is that Buddy Rich?" St Peter response "No that's God, he just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

Drummers always have such lame jokes...

I've heard them all like a Zildjian times.

The Truth About The Beatles

John was the brain

Paul was the heart

George was the spirit

Ringo was the drummer

Today is the 13th day of Christmas. My house is over-run with noisy birds and a crowd of hungry and confused pipers, drummers, lords and ladies. On top of all that...

...my true love was arrested for human trafficking.

Musicians are perverts.

The drummer sits in the back beating it, the guitarist is constantly fingering minors, the bassist is slapping it around, and they all like the pianist.

I once met a drummer who's timing was so bad, he began to get depressed...

Eventually, he threw himself behind a train.

A man asks a bartender: "How late does the band play?"

"Only about half a beat behind the drummer." The bartender replies.

What do you call a drummer with no arms and no legs?

A headbanger

Four musicians and a drummer walk into a bar. (Drummer jokes!)

How do you know when a drummer is at your door?
*The knocking speeds up and he doesn't know where to come in.*

How do you get the drummer away from your door?
*Pay for the pizza.*

What do you call a drummer with half a brain?
*Gifted.*

Why did the bassist keep drumstick...

What do you say when there's a singer, guitarist, bassist, and a drummer in a boat?

Abandon ship

What does a drummer wear on his head?

A hi-hat.

A soldier, a pacifist and a band are on an airplane

Suddenly the plane starts falling from the sky.

The pilot shouts: "There's too much weight! Somebody has to jump!"

The soldier stands up and walks to the door: "It would be an honour to protect all of you."

He jumps.

The airplane keeps falling. Soon the pilot shouts again...

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.

**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.

1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you c...

What do you call a pretty lady on the arm of a drummer?

A Tattoo.

Why didn't the drummer commit the crime?

He couldn't handle the repercussions.

How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Four. One to screw in the light bulb and three to talk about how Neil Peart could've done it better.

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Some musician jokes

Q. Why don't violinists play hide and seek?

A. No one would look for them.

Q. How can you tell if a stage is level?

A. Drool is coming out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.

Q. What is the definition of perfect pitch?

A. Tossing an accordion into a dumpster with...

I wish I was a professional drummer.

I could bang things and get paid.

How do you get a drummer off your porch?

Pay for the pizza.

How do you confuse a drummer?

Give him sheet music

Musician's Joke: The guitarist of a band walks into their rehearsal room and sees the bassist and the drummer having an argument

Guitarist: "Why are you arguing?"

Bassist: "The drummer detuned one of my strings."

Guitarist: "So what's the problem?"

Bassist: "He won't tell me which one!"

how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time?

Drummers.

Who is the drummer for the Mexican Beatles?

Gringo Starr

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there's a farm. On this farm, there's a cow, a chicken, and a horse, and the three of them are best friends.

They do just about everything together. And one day, they're sitting at the window of the house, and the farmer's kid is watching MTV, and they're watching it, and they hear the music, and the horse says "you know what? I'm gonna learn how to do that."

So the horse calls up Guitar Center, and...

Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show?

He locked the bass player in the car.

Whats a Drummers favorite Pokemon?

Rattata

Never marry a drummer...

they beat things for a living.

How can you tell when the stage is level?

The drummer is drooling equally from both sides of his mouth.

Did you hear about the drummer who fell and hit his head?

He was percussed.

What's the most common blood type among drummers?

Heroin.

Which kind of sharply dressed, tiny dwarves make the best drummers?

metro gnomes

A mailman is baffled at how to mail a letter addressed "to the greatest drummer in the world."

So what is he supposed to do? He's gotta send it. He hoofs it back to the post office, and shows it to his boss. The boss says, "come on man, send it to Chick Webb." So he does.

Chick Webb, the bandleader from Baltimore, sees the letter on his kitchen table and says, "Jesus! That can't be for...

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