What did the awkward quark say to the diuranium after it said "enjoy your meal"?

Thanks, U2

Two scientists are looking at quarks through a microscope

Scientist 1: You see this up quark?

Scientist 2: What up quark?

Scientist 1: Nothing much, how about you?

Hey babe, I think I have some quarks in my pants.

Either that or it’s a firmy-on


- said the science duck.

The playwright wanted to make a play using only particles made from 2 quarks each.

It was his meson scène.

Two Quarks

There's these two quarks sitting next to each other, they never can agree on anything. One Quark looks at the other and says, "Why are you always down?". The second Quark looks at the first, "It's because you're always up!"

What is a quark?

The sound a posh duck makes

Two hadrons are walking down the street

Baryon starts crying all of a sudden. His friend Meson turns and asks, “what’s wrong Baryon?”

Baryon sobs, ”Everybody says I’m odd.”

Meson tries his best to cheer him up. “Keep your head up buddy, we all have our quarks!”

A student asks a scientist about the types of quarks...

A student asks a scientist about the types of quarks. The scientist replies "Up, Down, Charm, Top, Bottom"

The student says "I think you missed one?" The scientist replies "Huh, thats Strange."

Theoretical duck

What did the duck say after it split the atom ?

Quark ! Quark !

What noise does a subatomic duck make?


A particle physicist met a quark collector...

... and discovered the latter, named Richard, had managed to get his hands on two of the most elusive quarks - the notorious up-quark and the sought-after down-quark.

Now the physicist was a bit of a connoisseur himself, and had managed to get his hands on all the four other quarks and their ...

At one point in time...

we thought atoms represented the smallest unit of matter. Although initially thought to be indivisible, this was proven false and each atom is made up of proton, neutrons, and electrons inside.

For a time these were the smallest units, then we found that these protons and neutrons were made u...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In college, we had a presentation where people dressed up as the different types of quark.

It was pretty boring, but it got a lot more interesting after I fucked up.

Scientists recently discovered the source of the quark...

It's the sound made by a posh duck.

Which subatomic particles are into BDSM?

Top and bottom quarks

I've Been Trying So Hard To Make A Joke About My Physicist Friend...

He finally snapped and told me to put a Quark in it.

Quantum physics has its ups and downs

But it all quarks out in the end

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A duck walks into my chemistry class

So, a duck walked into my chemistry class. The teacher jumped up and started shooing it out, but one kid gets between them and says "No, don't! Haven't you heard of this duck? He's a genius!" The teacher knows the kid is lying, but doesn't see the harm in humoring him, so she asks the kid to prove h...

Did you hear about the weird physicist?

He's a lovely guy but he's got some strange quarks.

11 Geeky Jokes

1. What does a subatomic duck say “Quark”.

2. Why did I divide Sin by Tan, Just Cos.

3. Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

4. Why can’t you trust atoms, they make up everything.

5. A pen...

Two atoms

One atom says to the other, "you're a weird dude. You know that?" The other atom responds "hey man, we all have some quarks."

What do you call the smallest Superman in the world?..

Quark Kent.

If we could put bread in a particle collider...

We could discover new quarks and glutons.

Ten Science Jokes for Nerds

* I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

* I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

* Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.

* Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And ...

Why didn't the physicist like his cheesecake?

Because the quark had a strange flavour

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