Atomic Bomb Jokes - 14 Hilarious Atomic Bomb Jokes

Did you hear about the two atomic bombs that got into an argument?

They had a fallout.

Why did Oppenheimer invent the atomic bomb?

Because he wanted the world to lighten up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar.

An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar. The topic of WW2 comes up and the Frenchman says to the American, "Dropping two atomic bombs on Japan was a terrible mistake." The Chinese nods. "You should have dropped more than two."

What made Rice Krispies long before Kellogg’s?

The Atomic Bomb

The only known survivor of both the Hiroshima and Nagasaki atomic bombs lived to the age of ninety-three with only a slightly deaf ear.

He didn’t really mind, though, since the other 3 worked fine.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Currently I'm working on a paper about the excessive consumption of whiskey based cocktails during the creation of the atomic bomb.

You might say it's my Manhattan project.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?

The August 1945 atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

What did the Big Boy Atomic Bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they met?

Nuke, I am your father.

Once upon a time, a King wanted to have some fun...

.... He went on a podium and said loudly: "I will give half of my fortune to anyone who manages to tell me a lie that I, myself, admit that it's a lie."

An old man walked to the King and said: "I can draw rainbows wherever I want."

The King replied: "That's true, I saw you making one y...

When he was president, George W. Bush decided to visit a school...

...so the kids could ask him questions.

'Mr. President, my name is Bob and I'd like to ask three questions,' says the first kid.

'Alright, ask away,' says Bush.

'My first question: why do you label everything as "terrorism"? My second question is: why do you always say we have t...

An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

An American, a German, and a Chinese man were all arguing over their drinks about whose country was the best.

The American started things off. "America invented the atomic bomb, discovered DNA, made the Internet, and went to the Moon. Without us, none of those things would have happened."
...

The aircraft carrier captain saw a light whilst at sea

"Tell the signalman to warn that boat to turn to port to avoid a collision."

But the light flashes back "\*YOU\* turn to port to avoid a collision."

The captain, incensed, sends the message "This is a 200 kiloton aircraft carrier with 50 warplanes, atomic bombs and cruise missiles! \*Y...

Why do asians have such squinty eyes?

Because atomic bombs are pretty bright.

Beans for lunch

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my wife seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was...

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