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My grandfather is addicted to viagra.

My grandmother is taking it pretty hard.

I used to be addicted to showering…

I got clean.

I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid...

But I can stop when I want.

Did you hear about the guy who was addicted to eating salt?

Don't worry, he was cured.

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I used to be addicted to masturbating

I overcame so much

My girlfriend was addicted to period dramas, but now she's moved on to period soaps..

It's wonderful how fresh and clean the sheets are now!

Did you hear about the cocaine addicted improv actor?

He was constantly thinking about his next line

I was addicted to the hokey pokey,

but then I turned myself around.

How did I not know you can be addicted to cats??

It seems even the Pope is a cat-holic.

Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money?

It suffered from withdrawals.

My doctor friend is addicted to hitting people on their knees to test their reflexes.

He really gets a kick out of it.

What does an Internet-addicted frog say?

Reddit reddit

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If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to say that my addiction got ot of hand?

I was addicted to not defending myself against nuns.

But I finally kicked the habit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a drug for people addicted to anal sex?

Trinoacetol

What should you do if you are addicted to seaweed?

Sea-kelp

I went out to dinner with a mathematician who was addicted to addition...

I have never seen so many positive signs on the first date.

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”

The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

What should you do if you are addicted to sea weed?

Sea kelp.

What sound does a duck addicted to drugs make?

Crack!

My uncle got addicted to deli meat

But I heard he quit cold turkey.

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If you are addicted to masturbation, talk to a priest.

He'll be happy to help you beat it.

What does the drug addicted, sea faring geologist do?

Smoke seaweed, does crystal math and sails on the *high* seas.

My mexican friend, Jesus, recently got addicted to methamphetamine

We now call him the Methiah.

As weird as it may sound, I think I’m addicted to religion

I’m a real Cathoholic

My friend is addicted to taking blurry pictures of himself in the shower.

He has some serious selfie steam issues.

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I'm an ass man. Addicted to ass.

It's like crack to me.

Help me please, I think I'm addicted to water

I feel like I can't even live without it

I’m addicted to thanksgiving leftovers

I can’t stop cold turkey

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What do you call somebody who's addicted to trimming beards?

A clipptomaniac!

I tried to help my friend, but he ended up addicted to marketing.

Guess you could say I gave him some ad-vice.

Addicted

I went to see my psychiatrist last week.
I explained to him that I was getting depressed because of my addiction to crossword puzzles.
He said try not to get too down.

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Therapist: You are addicted to using the cloning machine

Us: No we aren’t

My wife said she’s leaving me cause I’m addicted to drinking brake fluid

But I know I can stop any time I want

I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.

I need Help.

I'm addicted to placebos.

I could quit but it wouldn't matter.

My parents used to tell me that drug dealers would offer me free drugs until i got addicted to them, then they would charge me extremly high prices for it once i got addicted.

Looking at games in the App Store, I think all those drug dealers turned to game developers.

What do you call an alligator addicted to drugs?

A crackhead-ile

A lot of people think I’m addicted to drinking brake fluid

I always tell them, “don’t worry, I can stop whenever I want.”

What do you call someone who’s addicted to caffeine?

Caffiend.

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My friend is addicted to having sex with inanimate objects, and we haven’t seen him in a long time.

He always has stuff to do.

I knew a nun once who was addicted to wearing clothes a third of her size.

I never could figure out how she got into the habit.

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