The 29+ Best Bender Jokes

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An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day.

"I got you a job. It's a one-liner."

"That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"

"Hark, I hear the cannons roar," says the agent.

"I love it!" says the actor. "When's the audition?"

"Wednesday," says the agent...

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For those of you that never heard an ending to Bender's joke from the movie The Breakfast Club.

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle down on the bar and the bartender says "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The blonde says "as a matter of fact, make it a double scotch on the rocks! I was just drying off af...

Why could the Fire Nation defeat the Air Benders so easily?

Because wind resistance is negligible

Regretting a bender

A bartender looked up to see one of his regulars step up to the bar, and slouch over burying his head in his hands. The bartender asks, “Rough day, Sal? What should I pour you?” Sal mumbles, “Make it a water, I’m done drinking forever!” The bartender smirks, “ You’ve said that before, Sal, countles...

What do you call an unhealthy glow on your face after a week long cocaine bender?

Charlie Sheen.

What do you call an old air bender?

A Boomerang

I proposed to my girlfriend during a 4 day bender

She said “we got married yeterday!”

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Bender’s Breakfast Club unfinished joke

Saw this online so I thought I’d post it for everyone else wondering what it would be.

A naked blonde walks into a bar carrying a poodle under one arm and a 6 foot salami under the other.

So the bartender says “So I don’t suppose you’ll be needing a drink?”

The blonde says ...

The Milky Way experienced a cosmic fender-bender with a dwarf galaxy 500 million years ago.

It was the ultimate slow-down of ultimate density.

In response to /u/WisestAirBender, "Backwards" is also a palindrome.

"Backwards" spelled backwards is "Sdrawkcab", which is still backwards.

On the first test drive of my guitar-shaped car, I had a crash.

A real Fender bender.

my mom's (first language is not English) has called Joe everything else but Biden

Binder, Barner, Beener, Bruner, Bender.
And bonus, Donald Drum.

Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green?

For camouflage.

What do you call a fender bender that involves two airplanes?

A winger dinger.

What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender?

Eucalyptus.

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The hangover

A guy wakes up with a horrible hangover after a bender. Can barely open his eyes. Head pounding. Stomach churning.

He looks around, and with some relief realizes that he’s at home, in his bed. There’s a glass of water and two aspirins on his night stand, along with a note from his wife: “Dar...

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You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

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After watching Avatar the Last Airbender...

I realized I'm a metal bender when my fatass leans against a rail.

My favorite “And that’s when the fight started” joke!

A drunk man comes home to his wife and stands swayingly before her. She sees that his pants are ripped, his legs are bloody and he has bruises on his knuckles. Odd though, everything above his waist seems perfectly fine.

Wife: Oh no… What’s happened to you this time?

Husband: It was no...

What's the difference between one direction and futurama

There's only one bender in futurama

A man comes home after work, limping.

His wife looks at him, concerned. "What happened to your leg?"
"Oh, I got into a fender bender."
"What? So you got hurt in the crash?"
"Not exactly. You see, when the driver of the other car got out, it turns out he was a dwarf. He yelled,
'I AM NOT HAPPY.''
"But what does ...

Priest and a rabbi in a car accident

A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...

A lady hits a car.

She calls her husband and says: " Honey, dear there's been a little fender bender. By the way, what is a bug audi? "

Why was the Nickelodeon character Avatar Aang so controversial?

He was trans-bender

Guy asks his friend: "I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"

Friend: "Did you just assume my bender?!"

There was a car accident involving a funeral procession, yesterday. One person dead.

Luckily it was a fender-bender and no one was hurt.

Car Accident

So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him...

A guy is sitting in a bar...

And in walks a friend he hasn't seen in a few weeks. Being curious as to where his buddy has been, he asks what's been going on. His friend replies "after that last bender we had I figured it was time to lay off the sauce for a while". The first guy asks "what was so bad that you felt the need to cu...

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A man's wife is going to kick him out of the house for drinking too much.

Joe and his friends frequent one bar in town a lot and his wife hates it. She thinks he drinks entirely too much and it is causing a problem in their marriage . After one particularly long bender Joe ends up puking all over himself before he stumbles back home.

Joe wakes up to his wife sc...

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