UPJOKE
curvetootbooze-upcurve ballbreaking ballbendbowmancarousecarousalcrookcurvilinearakimborevelrydeliveryrevel

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For those of you that never heard an ending to Bender's joke from the movie The Breakfast Club.

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle down on the bar and the bartender says "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The blonde says "as a matter of fact, make it a double scotch on the rocks! I was just drying off af...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bender’s Breakfast Club unfinished joke

Saw this online so I thought I’d post it for everyone else wondering what it would be.

A naked blonde walks into a bar carrying a poodle under one arm and a 6 foot salami under the other.

So the bartender says “So I don’t suppose you’ll be needing a drink?”


The blonde says ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day.

"I got you a job. It's a one-liner."

"That's okay!" replies the actor, "I've been out of work for so long I'll take anything. What's the line?"

"Hark, I hear the cannons roar," says the agent.

"I love it!" says the actor. "When's the audition?"

"Wednesday," says the agent...

What do you call an old air bender?

A Boomerang

Why could the Fire Nation defeat the Air Benders so easily?

Because wind resistance is negligible

I proposed to my girlfriend during a 4 day bender

She said “we got married yeterday!”

On the first test drive of my guitar-shaped car, I had a crash.

A real Fender bender.

In response to /u/WisestAirBender, "Backwards" is also a palindrome.

"Backwards" spelled backwards is "Sdrawkcab", which is still backwards.

What do you call an unhealthy glow on your face after a week long cocaine bender?

Charlie Sheen.

The Milky Way experienced a cosmic fender-bender with a dwarf galaxy 500 million years ago.

It was the ultimate slow-down of ultimate density.

my mom's (first language is not English) has called Joe everything else but Biden

Binder, Barner, Beener, Bruner, Bender.
And bonus, Donald Drum.

What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender?

Eucalyptus.

Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green?

For camouflage.

Why was the Nickelodeon character Avatar Aang so controversial?

He was trans-bender

My favorite “And that’s when the fight started” joke!

A drunk man comes home to his wife and stands swayingly before her. She sees that his pants are ripped, his legs are bloody and he has bruises on his knuckles. Odd though, everything above his waist seems perfectly fine.

Wife: Oh no… What’s happened to you this time?

Husband: It was no...

What's the difference between one direction and futurama

There's only one bender in futurama

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The hangover

A guy wakes up with a horrible hangover after a bender. Can barely open his eyes. Head pounding. Stomach churning.

He looks around, and with some relief realizes that he’s at home, in his bed. There’s a glass of water and two aspirins on his night stand, along with a note from his wife: “Dar...

There was a car accident involving a funeral procession, yesterday. One person dead.

Luckily it was a fender-bender and no one was hurt.

A man comes home after work, limping.

His wife looks at him, concerned. "What happened to your leg?"
"Oh, I got into a fender bender."
"What? So you got hurt in the crash?"
"Not exactly. You see, when the driver of the other car got out, it turns out he was a dwarf. He yelled,
'I AM NOT HAPPY.''
"But what does ...

Guy asks his friend: "I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"

Friend: "Did you just assume my bender?!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

Priest and a rabbi in a car accident

A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...

Car Accident

So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.