I proposed to my girlfriend during a 4 day bender

She said “we got married yeterday!”

Why could the Fire Nation defeat the Air Benders so easily?

Because wind resistance is negligible

What do you call a cross-dressing car mechanic?

A gender-bender fender-mender.

The Milky Way experienced a cosmic fender-bender with a dwarf galaxy 500 million years ago.

It was the ultimate slow-down of ultimate density.

Regretting a bender

A bartender looked up to see one of his regulars step up to the bar, and slouch over burying his head in his hands. The bartender asks, “Rough day, Sal? What should I pour you?” Sal mumbles, “Make it a water, I’m done drinking forever!” The bartender smirks, “ You’ve said that before, Sal, countles...

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The end to Bender's naked lady joke in The Breakfast Club...

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table.
Bartender says " I suppose you won't be needing a drink"
Naked Lady says ..... (*Bender falls through ceiling*)
**"Well, my boyfriend and I were just ab...

What do you call a fender bender that involves two airplanes?

A winger dinger.

Here's a mind bender my 8 year old son came up with: Why are trees green?

For camouflage.

What's the difference between Futurama and One Direction?

There's only one Bender in Futurama

What did the koalas say after getting in a fender bender?

Eucalyptus.

What is it called when you break a guitar amp in a car accident?

A Fender Bender

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Wait, what was my line again??

An out-of-work actor gets a call from his agent one day. "I’ve got you a job," says his agent. "That’s great," says the actor, what is it?" "Well," says his agent, "it’s a one-liner" "That’s okay," replies the actor, "I’ve been out of work for so long I’ll take anything. What’s the line?" "Hark, I h...

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The real 12 days of Christmas

Miss Agnes McHolstein

69 Cash Avenue

Beaver Valley, Colorado

December 14, 1979

Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a thoroughly delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With deepest l...

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The hangover

A guy wakes up with a horrible hangover after a bender. Can barely open his eyes. Head pounding. Stomach churning.

He looks around, and with some relief realizes that he’s at home, in his bed. There’s a glass of water and two aspirins on his night stand, along with a note from his wife: “Dar...

Guy asks his friend: "I heard you were out til 5 am last night. You must have been partying pretty hard?"

Friend: "Did you just assume my bender?!"

Priest and a rabbi in a car accident

A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...

Car Accident

So I got into a car accident the other day. It was nothing major, just a small fender bender as I rear-ended the car ahead of me. We both pull over and I get my insurance information ready when I see the other driver step out of his car - he was a dwarf! I get out of my car and get ready to hand him...

What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress?

A gender bender Bender fender bender.

A guy is sitting in a bar...

And in walks a friend he hasn't seen in a few weeks. Being curious as to where his buddy has been, he asks what's been going on. His friend replies "after that last bender we had I figured it was time to lay off the sauce for a while". The first guy asks "what was so bad that you felt the need to cu...

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A man's wife is going to kick him out of the house for drinking too much.

Joe and his friends frequent one bar in town a lot and his wife hates it. She thinks he drinks entirely too much and it is causing a problem in their marriage . After one particularly long bender Joe ends up puking all over himself before he stumbles back home.


Joe wakes up to his wife sc...