I have a oxygen addiction

I tried to stop yesterday, but after a minute I started feeling blue

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If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to say that my addiction got ot of hand?

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i asked my therapist: can you cure my bondage addiction?

he said: "i wish i can help you but my hands are tied"

I have a sausage addiction....

.....and it's getting Wurst.

Gambling addiction hotlines would be so much better if...

Every fifth caller was a winner.

I have an addiction to stealing traffic signs.

But I can STOP whenever I want to.

+how's your gambling addiction going?

\-i don't know but i bet is fine.

My wife is fed up of my constant Dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

**Wife:** whatever means necessary.

**Me:** No it doesn't.

My wife gave me an ultimatum today - it was her or my shameless addiction.

The decision was a piece of cake.

I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Girlfriend has broken up with me over my chronic gambling addiction..

.. Desperate to win Her back.

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Porn addiction has cost me everything I hold dear in my life....

But I’m glad I got a handle on it.

How do you call an alcoholic that doesnt admit the addiction?

Jack Denials

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What event does a weightlifter with a masturbation addiction and fast recharge rate do.

The clean and jerk.

My girlfriend left me because of my Linkin Park addiction

But in the eeeennddd it doesn't even maatteeerrrr

Can radio be an addiction?

Depends on the frequency.

my friend told me that im probably going to have a gambling addiction

i told him:
"how much are you willing to bet on that"

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my Poker addiction.

I think she's bluffing.

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, nuts and marshmallows.

I have to admit it was a rocky road.

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My masturbation addiction and lycanthropy are really messing up my sleep.

I'm up all night tossing and turning.

To overcome his drug addiction my son decided to become a woman.

Now's he's Coleen.

My new girlfriend left me because of my addiction to horse racing ...

I knew it wouldn't last furlong

My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction...

I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.

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Yeah, I have a heroine addiction.

\*Pulls out young adult novel with a strong female figure\*

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Started seeing a sex addiction therapist last week

Wow she’s good in bed!

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese

But it's only mild

A Priest with a golf addiction...

awakes to a beautiful Sunday morning after weeks of bad weather. He just can't work today, he HAS to find a way to fit in a round or two of golf. He calls in sick, and drives 2 hours to distant course so no one will recognize him. He lines up his first shot, a par 5, and lets it rip...

Meanwh...

My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...

I know where to draw the line...

Addicted

I went to see my psychiatrist last week.
I explained to him that I was getting depressed because of my addiction to crossword puzzles.
He said try not to get too down.

I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming.

I’ve been dry for six months now.

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I was unable to beat my masturbation addiction for a long time...

But now that I named my penis "masturbation addiction" its become surprising easy...

My struggle with steroid addiction,

Has only made me stronger.

A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers

He goes to the butcher - "I bet you $500 you can't get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder"

The butcher says "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high"

Electric shock treatment for my BDSM addiction?

Yes, Please!

What did Dora say to help her friend break his Tinder addiction?

Swiper, no swiping!

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My friend asked me if my masturbation addiction got any better

I replied: no, if anything it got harder

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Our whole family is really worried about my grandfather’s Viagra addiction.

Grandma is taking it particularly hard.

What do you call a spider with a cocaine addiction...

An acracknid

A small man admitted himself to rehab with a gambling addiction

It’s ok. He’s a little better.

The start of my opiate addiction...

...was surprisingly painless.

I’ve been battling my addiction to the ‘Hokey Cokey’ dance for a number of years now..

It’s been a long and hard challenge, but I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

My grandpa has an addiction to Mexican beer

Now he doesn’t have a liver

I just can't stop ogling at hot 18 year olds dressed in nothing but panties.

I could say I've a knicker teen addiction.

I don't have an addiction to alcohol, alcohol has an addiction to me,

whenever alcohol is with me, it gets drunk.

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