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Anyone know of a cure for sex addiction?

I’ve tried fucking everything

My wife is fed up with my constant stream jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?!" She shot back, "Whatever means necessary!!"

I chuckled, "No it doesn't!"

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I have a masturbation addiction

But I'm beating it

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i asked my therapist: can you cure my bondage addiction?

he said: "i wish i can help you but my hands are tied"

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My family is getting very concerned about my Grandfather's Viagra addiction.

My grandma Is taking it particularly hard.

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I have a therapist addiction.

I don't know who to see about it.

My wife and kids are threatening to walk out of the house because of my addiction to horse racing.

And they’re off!

I don't have a cocaine addiction.

I just like the way it smells.

My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...

no one is taking my cries for help seriously.

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Yesterday I learnt that I have a real problem with heroine addiction.

I have to have sex with a woman admired for her courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities...

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Who do you call for questions about sex addiction?

Nympho-mation

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A bee landed on a girl's chest at the sex addiction therapy course.

Apparently screaming Boo Bee at her chest was wrong...

What do you call it when you fail to break your addiction to mid-day rests?

Re-naps

I'm on medication for my Pokemon Go addiction.

Gotacachemol.

I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits...

Pulp Fiction

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If I was addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to say that my addiction got ot of hand?

Chicken Addiction

A guy really wanted to eat chicken. He was craving it for a while and he decided to go get some. But, he didn't want any of the fast food type chicken. So, he decided to cook it himself.

He goes to the butcher to buy it. The butcher gave him a live chicken. The man, surprised, asked the butch...

I can only see Jane's Addiction videos on YouTube if I stare straight at them

I must've lost my PerryFerrell vision

My wife left me because of my poker addiction.

I for sure thought she was bluffing.

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There are days when I truly think I've gotten over my porn addiction

......then I remember my favourite Michael Jackson song is 'Beat It'

Gambling addiction hotlines would be so much better if...

Every fifth caller was a winner.

I'm absolutely heartbroken. My Girlfriend has broken up with me over my chronic gambling addiction..

.. Desperate to win Her back.

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The 3 ex drug addicts

So 3 ex drug addicts (let's call them Jim, Mike and Bill) volunteered for a week to try to convince as many junkies as possible to ask for help to fight their addiction. They were given by the local authorities 2 photos, one showing a small circle and one showing a big circle and they were told to u...

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I beat my addiction

To porn, single handedly

I have a oxygen addiction

I tried to stop yesterday, but after a minute I started feeling blue

I have a sausage addiction....

.....and it's getting Wurst.

I have an addiction to stealing traffic signs.

But I can STOP whenever I want to.

My wife gave me an ultimatum today - it was her or my shameless addiction.

The decision was a piece of cake.

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Porn addiction has cost me everything I hold dear in my life....

But I’m glad I got a handle on it.

How do you call an alcoholic that doesnt admit the addiction?

Jack Denials

+how's your gambling addiction going?

\-i don't know but i bet is fine.

My family is all worried about my addiction to dot to dot puzzles. It's OK though...

I know where to draw the line...

I just got over my addiction to chocolate, nuts and marshmallows.

I have to admit it was a rocky road.

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Yeah, I have a heroine addiction.

\*Pulls out young adult novel with a strong female figure\*

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Pete goes to a masturbation addiction meeting

The meeting had been going on for hours and he really had to pee.

He raised his hand and asked "May I use the restroom?"

The host said that it was alright, once Pete had turned around he heard a voice saying "Ya need a hand?"

Did you hear about the new center for gambling addiction?

Your addiction cured or double your money back!

Can radio be an addiction?

Depends on the frequency.

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My masturbation addiction and lycanthropy are really messing up my sleep.

I'm up all night tossing and turning.

A guy with a gambling addiction walks into a butchers

He goes to the butcher - "I bet you $500 you can't get the meat down from the top shelf without a ladder"

The butcher says "I can't take that bet, the steaks are too high"

Alcohol Addiction

My anxiety has been in overdrive since the start of the Pandemic. I feel like I need more and more alcohol everyday.

I am going through at least a liter of the hard stuff everyday.
I start using as soon as I wake up and don't stop until I go to bed each night.

My Dr. says I need t...

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What event does a weightlifter with a masturbation addiction and fast recharge rate do.

The clean and jerk.

My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction...

I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.

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Started seeing a sex addiction therapist last week

Wow she’s good in bed!

I’ve finally managed to conquer my addiction to swimming.

I’ve been dry for six months now.

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I was unable to beat my masturbation addiction for a long time...

But now that I named my penis "masturbation addiction" its become surprising easy...

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3 people die and end up in hell...

The first was an alcoholic, the second was a womanizer, the 3rd was a pothead.

Satan spoke: "Your punishment for squandering your lives on addiction is simple. What you valued the most in your life will be provided to you in infinite supply, however, you will remain with only your vice in a l...

Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous?

He had a quack addiction.

To overcome his drug addiction my son decided to become a woman.

Now's he's Coleen.

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My friend asked me if my masturbation addiction got any better

I replied: no, if anything it got harder

my friend told me that im probably going to have a gambling addiction

i told him:
"how much are you willing to bet on that"

My new girlfriend left me because of my addiction to horse racing ...

I knew it wouldn't last furlong

A small man admitted himself to rehab with a gambling addiction

It’s ok. He’s a little better.

Addicted

I went to see my psychiatrist last week.
I explained to him that I was getting depressed because of my addiction to crossword puzzles.
He said try not to get too down.

I’ve been battling my addiction to the ‘Hokey Cokey’ dance for a number of years now..

It’s been a long and hard challenge, but I’ve turned myself around and that’s what it’s all about.

A Priest with a golf addiction...

awakes to a beautiful Sunday morning after weeks of bad weather. He just can't work today, he HAS to find a way to fit in a round or two of golf. He calls in sick, and drives 2 hours to distant course so no one will recognize him. He lines up his first shot, a par 5, and lets it rip...

Mea...

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