What would be a bad gift for an epileptic teenage boy?

Clap on lights

I was in the pub last night telling my mate the joke about, “What would you do if an epileptic was having a fit in the bath....throw the washing in”

However, the guy on the next table said, “My brother is epileptic and had a fit in the bath, and died."

If the ground could have swallowed me up I'd of been happy. I said, “Sorry to hear that, mate. Did he drown?"

He said, "No, he choked on a sock"

How do you make a room full of epileptics go nuts?

Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights

What is an epileptic person's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

Where to epileptics gamble?

Seizures palace

I'm gonna open a shopping center for epileptics,

and call it the Grand Mall

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

What do you put in a bathtub with an epileptic?

Your dirty clothes

What do you call a Roman Emperor, without his epileptic pills?

Julius Seizure

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a sex worker with diarrhea?

One of them shucks between fits...

My epileptic son loves our new Christmas Tree

You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.

What do you call an epileptic on a merry-go-round?

A fidget spinner.

[Serious] Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive.

A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar.

I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well...until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones...and picked the worst possible one to start with.

What is an epileptic’s favorite appetizer?

Seizure salad!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy with Parkinson's, a sadist, and an epileptic were sitting in a bar

Then the sadist tells the guy with Parkinson's:
Can you turn on the light please, it's a little dark in here.

I took my epileptic cousin to his first laser show.

He was literally shaking with excitement.

Do you know what to do when someone has epileptic seizure in your bathtub?

Throw your laundry in there. .

what do you called a epileptic at a auction

the highest bidder!

(i can say this seeing i have it)

What did the epileptic kid say while watching the light show?

Bro I'm literally shaking right now

Do you wanna know what my epileptic cousin's favourite dance is?

The Worm

So I took ma epileptic buddy to Times Square.

He loved it so much, he started dancing on the ground.

I was sitting on a bus with a friend and he told me this joke...

What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?

Throw in your laundry.

The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."

We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he c...

I asked my epileptic friend, “What do you want for your birthday?”

He said, “I hope it’s nothing too flashy.”

What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?

A foam party!

What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas?

A Wii fit

Epileptic nymphomaniacs...

... shouldn't own clap on lights.

What do epileptic ship captains deal with?


(This is a bad joke; I'll sea myself out)

An epileptic has started waking himself each morning with flashing lights...

He says it’s part of his new plan to seize the day.

Do you know what to do if an epileptic has an attack in bath?

Quickly add your laundry.

I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday

Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an epileptic cow?

Beef jerky

What do you call a support group for child epileptics?

Little Seizures

I hope Ceasar was epileptic

Then his people could say"Ceasar's having a Ceasar"

What did the epileptic eat for dinner?

Seizure salad

(yes, I'll roast in hell for this one)

What's blue and doesn't fit properly?

A dead epileptic

I dropped my epileptic meds in the washer earlier.

Now my clothes don’t fit anymore.

What do you call an epileptic man in a bush?


What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza?

Lil seizures

Where do milkshakes come from?

From epileptic Cows.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does an epileptic guy do if you flash him?



The Epileptic Employee

Three brothers, Tom Meens, Jerry Meens, and Sam Meens, are all managers of a toy factory.

Tom manages the call center reps, Jerry manages the production line, and Sam manages the fulfillment department.

One day in the break room, an employee having lunch at the same time as Jerry, i...

What do you do if an epileptic is having a fit in a bath?

Throw your washing in

What job are rude epileptics well suited for?

Salt shakers.

What do you call an epileptic puppy?

Kibbles 'n Fits.

What is it called when an epileptic police officer walks into a house with a warrant?

Search and seizure!!!

Question: Would you know what actions to take if someone had an epileptic fit in the bath?

"Throw the Laundry in"..

I have a short friend who's epileptic and makes pizza for a living

I call him Little Seizures

There was this epileptic Roman ruler...

...who was prone to occasional fits. He was also very self-conscious about it. One day, one of his guards (who also suffered from epilepsy) went into convulsions in the hall while the monarch was eating dinner.

Assuming that the man was mocking him, the dictator furiously ordered him to be t...

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?


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