How do you make a room full of epileptics go nuts?

Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights

What would be a bad gift for an epileptic teenage boy?

Clap on lights

I was in the pub last night telling my mate the joke about, “What would you do if an epileptic was having a fit in the bath....throw the washing in”

However, the guy on the next table said, “My brother is epileptic and had a fit in the bath, and died."

If the ground could have swallowed me up I'd of been happy. I said, “Sorry to hear that, mate. Did he drown?"

He said, "No, he choked on a sock"

My epileptic son loves our new Christmas Tree

You should see how excited he gets when we turn on the lights.

I took an epileptic girl to a rave

I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.

What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas?

A Wii fit

Why did the epileptic throw himself into the lettuce patch?

He was making a seizure salad.



....I’ll see myself out.

What is an epileptic's favorite pizza place?

Little Seizures

So I took ma epileptic buddy to Times Square.

He loved it so much, he started dancing on the ground.

What are epileptic ghosts made of?

Ectospasm

What do you call an epileptic emperor?

Julius Seizure.

What do you put in a bathtub with an epileptic?

Your dirty clothes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an epileptic cow?

Beef jerky

I'm gonna open a shopping center for epileptics,

and call it the Grand Mall

I asked my epileptic friend, “What do you want for your birthday?”

He said, “I hope it’s nothing too flashy.”

I was sitting on a bus with a friend and he told me this joke...

What do you do if you see an Epileptic having a fit in the bath?

Throw in your laundry.

The guy behind us leaned over and said "I think that's disgusting. My son died in the bath whilst having a fit."

We both went white and apologised. The guy got up to get off and said, "he c...

What do you call 500 epileptics at a disco?

A foam party!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with explosive diarrhea?

One of them shucks between fits.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw in some of your laundry

What was the epileptic chefs special menu item?

Seizure Salad.

Epileptic Santa

He seizures when you're sleeping.

What do you call an epileptic on a merry-go-round

A fidget spinner

An epileptic has started waking himself each morning with flashing lights...

He says it’s part of his new plan to seize the day.

What did the epileptic kid say while watching the light show?

Bro I'm literally shaking right now

I took my epileptic cousin to his first laser show.

He was literally shaking with excitement.

I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday

Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy.

What is an epileptic person's favorite dish at Olive Garden?

A seizure salad

What do epileptic ship captains deal with?

Sea-zures

(This is a bad joke; I'll sea myself out)

[Serious] Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive.

A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar.

I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well...until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones...and picked the worst possible one to start with.
<...

What did the epileptic eat for dinner?

Seizure salad

(yes, I'll roast in hell for this one)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does an epileptic guy do if you flash him?

Seizure...

boobs.

What do you call an epileptic man in a bush?

Russel.

Where to epileptics gamble?

Seizures palace

what do you called a epileptic at a auction

the highest bidder!





(i can say this seeing i have it)

Today my uncle asked me (an epileptic) if there was anything that would make me stop talking.

I told him a strobe light usually does the trick.

I hope Ceasar was epileptic

Then his people could say"Ceasar's having a Ceasar"

How do epileptics say farewell?

"Seizure later!"

Do you know what to do if an epileptic has an attack in bath?

Quickly add your laundry.

I have a short friend who's epileptic and makes pizza for a living

I call him Little Seizures

There was this epileptic Roman ruler...

...who was prone to occasional fits. He was also very self-conscious about it. One day, one of his guards (who also suffered from epilepsy) went into convulsions in the hall while the monarch was eating dinner.

Assuming that the man was mocking him, the dictator furiously ordered him to be t...

What job are rude epileptics well suited for?

Salt shakers.

A local pub had an electric bull riding competition

Many strong men tried and failed to last the required 8 seconds due to the ferocity of the steed.

A little, scrawny man stepped up and climbed aboard.

The bull started bucking slowly as the ride gained momentum, yet the man held on. 1, 2, 3 seconds.

Faster and faster it spun, ye...

What do you do if an epileptic is having a fit in a bath?

Throw your washing in

What do you call an epileptic leper taking a bath?

Porridge.

What's blue and doesn't fit?

A dead epileptic.

Question: Would you know what actions to take if someone had an epileptic fit in the bath?

"Throw the Laundry in"..

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