63 Jokes - 39 Hilarious 63 Jokes

63 and pregnant

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; ...

People are 63% more likely to believe a made up stat if you say it confidently

This increases to 78.47 if you add a decimal

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Astronomy Fact: You can fit 63 Earths inside Uranus

64 if you relax.

How does Barbie look so good despite being 63?

Plastic Surgery

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Bruce Willis dead at age 63 of viagra overdose.

He died hard.

A guy is spending his first night in prison

He hears someone in another cell shout out "37!" and the whole cell block bursts out laughing.

Another guy shouts out "74!" Same thing.

"46!" and everyone loses their minds.

He asks his cellmate "What's going on? Why are the numbers so funny?"

"Well we've all been here so...

Four professionals are interviewing for a math-intensive position in a company

The shortlist of applicants includes a mathematician, a physicist, an engineer, and an accountant.

To begin each interview, the representative from HR poses a simple math problem to warm up the candidates. What is 45+18?

The mathematician immediately responds "63".

The physicist...

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A boy tells his father "Dad, my math teacher is asking to see you.”

The father asks "What happened?"

“Well, she asks me, 'how much is 7 x 9?' I answer '63' , then she asks, 'and 9 x 7?' so I ask 'what's the fucking difference?'"

"Indeed, what is the difference?" says the father. ''Sure, I'll go.''

The next day, the boy comes home from school an...

Joke my 63 year old British dad just told me...

Two American astronauts zoom off to the moon, they land on the moon safely and hop out of the module. They do some routine work, collecting rock samples, checking temperatures and the like.

Then one of them sees a man in the distance sitting on a deck chair wearing a handkerchief with knots o...

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You know you can fit 63 Earths in Uranus.

I don't think I'll ever be mature enough to not laugh at that.

An ancient "your mom" joke, from Ancient Rome, between 63 BC to 14 AD .

"The Emperor Augustus was touring the Empire, when he noticed a man in the crowd who bore a striking resemblance to himself.

"Intrigued he asked: 'Was your mother at one time in service at the Palace?'

"'No your Highness,' he replied, 'but my father was.'"

Usain Bolt did the 100m in 9.63 seconds..

I can't do anything that quick!
It took me 10 seconds to watch him run it!

TIL Billy Mays had an IQ of 63

Would that make him an OxiMoron?

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"Dad, my math teacher wants you to come in to speak with her," said Billy after coming home on Monday.

"Why, what happened?" Asked his father.

"Well, she asked me to multiply 7 times 9, so I did and told her 63. Then she asked me to multiply 9 times 7, so I told her what's the fucking point if the answer's going to be the same."

"Well yeah, what IS the point if you already answered her ...

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony.

A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite blonde walks by and the man immediately gets an erection.

The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, "Did you call for me?"

The ma...

A man goes to prison

During his first night, he hears his fellow inmates shouting out.

“37!” Everyone laughs.

“18!” Everyone laughs again.

He asks his cellmate what that’s all about.

“Oh, we’ve been in here so long that we’ve numbered the jokes. Give it a try.”

“63!” No response. H...

[x-post from r/dyslexia] Today I misread 63 as 68 so it took me twice as long to get home with the public transport

Whoops, wrong bus

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as a ...

Three guys died and when they got to the pearly gates....

.....St. Peter met them there. St. Peter said, "I know that you guys are forgiven because you're here. Before I let you into Heaven, I have to ask you something. You have to have a car in Heaven because Heaven is so big, what kind of car you get will
depend on your answer."

The first guy ...

A man is standing on a bridge over a dangerous river,

constantly saying "63, 63, 63..." over and over. Suddenly a tourist comes by and asks why is he just standing there repeating that number. The man didn't answer, instead he just pushes the tourist off the bridge into the river and says: "64, 64, 64..."

Credit: dad

An elderly person asked a young-looking man how old he was

He replied saying, "whenever I tell anyone I'm 63, they don't believe me."

The elderly person then exclaimed, "how could you be 63?!"

To which the man said, "I'm not."

"Dad, are you planning on getting me a gift for my birthday?"

"Of course, but your mother and I would like to get you something you will enjoy, what is it you want?"

"Well, crypto is hot - how about a Bitcoin."

"A Bitcoin? Sheesh, those things cost $45,237! Do you know how long it takes me to earn $31,479? Some day you'll have a job y...

My husband asked me to rate his looks so I told him he was a solid 10

He seemed very pleased until I added that he was more of a 63 when we first met.

If I had a nickel for every math test I've failed...

I'd have $0.63 by now.

An old man walks into a confessional

The priest behind the screen says, "What are your sins my son?" The old man replies, "Well Father, I'm 63 years old. I've been married to the same woman for 40 years and I've been faithful all that time. That ended last night when I had a three-way with two college-age girls."

The priest look...

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A man, an ostrich and a cat walk into a bar...

One day, a man walks into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. The man orders a beer, and so does the ostrich. The cat orders half a pint, and refuses to tip the bartender. The bartender tells them their bill is $10.78. The man reaches into his pocket and gets exactly $10.78.

The next day, the ma...

My dad is a bitcoin trader

I asked, "Dad, could you lend me a tenner please?"

Dad - "£9.42? What do you need £11.63 for?

The interview

Interviewer: It says here that you really fast with numbers, so what's 14×21?.

Interviewee: 63.

Interviewer: That's not even close.

Interviewee: yeah, but it was quick.

The dying chemist tells his assistant..

To check the following numbers in the periodic table. Confused, but still wishing to follow his directions, he listens carefully and the chemist lists down the numbers, 10, 23, 47, 8, 7, 47, 53, 23, 63, 92, 15. After listung them down, the assistant tells the chemist he did it, and with a smile, the...

After having failed his exam in Logic, a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my grade as is and go. If you howev...

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Job-stealing immigrant was arrested yesterday.

Cops found 63 jobs in his basement.

Kerala was the first indian state where Hindus got converted to Christianity

Saint Thomas, who was one of the disciples of Jesus Christ visited Kerala in 52 AD.

How did St Thomas convert Keralites to Christianity ?

St Thomas said, "Jesus healed the sick ".
People didn't believe .

He said, "Jesus died for you".
People said "Oh pl...

A lady is concerned her new puppy dog is deaf

The dog doesn’t seem to hear her trying to call it at all, so she decides to take the puppy to see the vet. The vet says “well sometimes these schnauzers grow to much hair in their ears and can’t hear very well”. The vet checks the puppy’s ears, and sure enough they are overgrown with hair. The vet ...

A teacher and her student practice counting

Teacher: OK now, 61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69...what comes after 69?
Student: Mouthwash
That student was sent home

Russian Elections

[Best said with a horrible Russian Accent - Arnold Schwarzenegger in Red Heat bad.]

So after the last Russian Election, Putin's campaign advisor came up to him:

CA- Comrade Putin (you know that's how he's addressed in private) I have good news and bad news.

Putin- Give me the...

An old couple went to heaven

After spending 60 years being married.

When they reach the pearly gates, St George greets them and says, "Welcome! Let me show you what we have."

The saint leads the couple to a massive golf course and a huge golf club, with premium equipment.

"You'll never find anywhere better!...

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A few statistics...

Studies show ¾ths of the general public prefer to be told statistics in percents as compared to fractions.

10/9 of them are unable to spot errors in said statistics.

63% of the population will believe a statistic if it has a famous name cited with it. - Julius Cesar, May 1973

Th...

NO BACKSEAT

A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.

"No!" yells the blonde.

Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.

"For the last time, no!" says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well,...

Sugar Shorts . . .

A group of Tennessee bikers were riding east on Highway 74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

Walter Hawk, their leader, a man of 63, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down of...

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