An 88-year old man came to the hospital and said to the doctor, “Doctor, my 18 year old wife is pregnant with my child.”

The doctor paused and said, “There was a master bear shooter in a village. He never missed a shot.

But one day he was in a hurry, and took his umbrella instead of his rifle by mistake.

When he encountered a bear, he still didn’t realize his mistake and pointed the umbrella and shot the...

An 88-Year Old Woman was interviewed by the local News after getting married for the fourth time...

The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation.

“He’s a funeral director,” she answered.

“Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little ...

My 10 year old Son just came up with this one and I couldn't be more proud: What's Batman's favourite fruit?

A Banananananananananananananananana

EDIT: Thank you everyone for the awards and kind words! Just to clarify:

* Yes, he does know the 60's batman theme. My partner loves campy batman so it was inevitable. [The Simpsons](https://youtu.be/TQepz5rsS6E?t=88) also made sure of that.
* Gi...

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My dad is 88 today. Here is one he used to tell all the time. Happy Birthday dad!

A farmer needed to castrate his bull.

After a search of many options including the local veternarians he decides to go with the guy with the cheapest price.
The next day a man shows up with a briefcase and opens it and the farmer is surprised at what's inside. The fellow pulls two bricks ...

The class of 1950 gets together for their class reunion. Not many people are left, but two of the 10 people to attend were Harry, an 88 year old widower, and Esther, an 87 year old divorcee.

Over the course of the evening, they had a great time chatting about old times and their families. They each felt a real connection and by the time the night was out, Harry had proposed and Esther has happily accepted.

The next morning, Harry woke up and was frustrated to realize that he cou...

They say 88 percent people are bad at maths

Luckily I am among the remaining 22 percent.

My grandad commited suicide by eating the entire 88 keys on a piano.

He didn't leave a note.

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My friend always gets discriminated because his username ends with 88

Stay strong, u/KillTheJews88

Why is 88 better than 69?

Because you get ate twice.

Roger Bannister, the guy who first broke the 4 minute mile, just died at 88.

He had a good run.

My uncle once got his DeLorean up to 88 mph, and ended up 30 years in the future.

That's how long he got for hitting all those people at the bus stop.

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Last week, an asteroid named 2019 OK passed close to Earth at a speed of 88,500 kilometres (55,000 mi) per hour.

Scientist say that if it had passed even closer its name would have been 2019 OFUCK.

Me and the wife 88'ed last night.

It's like 69'ing, but for fat people.

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I just saw a Nazi drive past me at 88 mph

Probably going Back to the Führer

George, 88 years old, goes to his doctor for a check-up.

-How are you doing George ?

-Very well Doctor, God is watching over me

-Really, how so?

-Yes indeed. Last night I had to wake up to go the bathroom and when I opened the door, the light turned on by itself. God is watching over me. And when I went back to bed, when I closed the ...

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Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like partic...

My 88-year-old grandmother said, "Young man, I wish you were more like most people your age."

If only she was more like most people her age, too.

Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head...

...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car.

Looking Good

Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks.

At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years."


"Oh," said Mom, horrified. "I hope I didn't look like this 20 years ago."

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Just found out men can have sex at 88.....

which is handy cos I live at 94 so it's not far to walk home after.

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Best Salesman Ever!

A young guy from North Dakota moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The young guy says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Dakota."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he...

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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife

Very Long Read:

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife.

A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversa...

A father-to-be was waiting anxiously outside the labour ward where his wife was delivering a baby.

A nurse came up to the man and said, 'You have a girl, but there's another one on the way, so come back soon.'

'Twins,' he thought, a little shakily. He went away and came back an hour later to be told that the second baby had been born, but there was still another on the way.

'Good gr...

My 60 year old rich friend is getting married and throws a big wedding reception

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?


“Simple,” smiling he said, “I faked my age"


His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he told her


"Well", he replied.  "I said I was...

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 88 stories in 6 seconds.

Who reads the fastest? ..... A suicide jumper....

Because he can finish 88 stories in 2 seconds flat.

What do you call it when two snowmen 69?

88

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The organist at a local church dies (long joke)

The organist at the local church dies so the priest interviews potential replacements, but the only guy to show up was the piccolo player, so he gets the job. So Sunday morning comes and the priest says "okay everyone, unfortunately the organist is with our lord, so today were gonna have the picco...

My school janitor is a part-time pianist.

He has 88 keys.

If a light sleeper sleeps lighter with the light on, does a hard sleeper sleep harder with...

the window open?

From my 88 year old grandma

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Talking dog

Some racehorses were staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "Out of my last 15 races, I've won 8!" Another horse breaks in, "Well out of my last 27 races, I've won 19!" "Oh that's good, but out of my last 36 races, I've won 28," says another, flicking his tail.At th...

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