Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

Did you know that 77% of the world is stupid?

Luckily I'm the other 33%.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During sex why is 77 better than 69?

Because you get 8 more

I recently read an article that claimed 77% of redditors don't understand the concept of percentages.

That's absurd, there isn't even that many of us.

Putin recently won the election with about 77 percent of the vote,

Over the next few weeks Russia will see a 23 percent population decrease.

The last time I saw my friend Peter he was counting. "75, 76, 77..." he said, as he began to walk away.

I don't know what he's up to now.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every year Simon entered the state lottery hoping to win.

He never did. Finally he prayed vigorously, hoping for God's message, he walked around the fair.

A flash of lightning struck as he was passing Suzie's stall. She was bending & he saw she was not wearing panties. He could see 7 written on both of her bums .

He bet on 77 as he thoug...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If my coworker had a dollar for every time i made a sexist joke...

She would have ¢0.77

A man wakes up and looks at his clock. It is 7:07 am.

He gets out of bed, goes downstairs and glances at his calendar. It says it is July 7, the seventh day of the seventh month.
As he steps outside he notices Bus #7 going by. He walks to a coffee shop and orders a coffee and a bite to eat and the bill comes to $7.77.

The man thinks "hmm...

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Flavoured Condoms: A joke from a 77 year old man I know

A man comes home with a box of flavoured condoms and says to his wife,

"We should play a game where I go in the bedroom, turn off the light, and I'll put one of these condoms on. Then you can come in and try guess the flavour!"

The wife excitedly agrees, waits a minute, then follows he...

Why do women prefer 77 more than 69?

Because they get 8 (ate) more.

Repurposed from a /u/sciomancy6 comment.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him 1$

I saw a homeless woman and gave her 0.77$

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

More of us guys are unemployed as a result of the pandemic, but we're getting fucked over worse

I mean, damn, we're losing $1.00 for every .77 cents women lose.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandmother started walking 5 miles a day when she turned 60.

She's 77 now and we have no idea where the fuck she is.

A man woke up on a sunny day

He looked at his alarmclock, it said 7:07
When he walked downstairs he looked at his calander, it was the seventh day of the seventh month
As he arrived at the bus stop he took bus 7
On his walk from the second bus stop to his work he ordered a coffee and a donut from the nearby coffee shop...

Men are becoming poorer during COVID-19.

Men are losing a dollar for every 77 cents that a woman loses.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Severance Packages

The department of defense, in an effort to cut some costs decides to offer severance packages to some superfluous higher ranking officers. The offer is an honorable discharge and $1,000 for every inch between two points of their body of their choosing.

A Navy admiral takes this opportunity an...

I asked my ol’lady if she wanted to do a 68,....she asked, what’s a 68?

Well you blow me and I owe you 1! She said how bout a 77?, i said a 77?, ya that way I get 8 more!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Every year at the state fair...

... Paul entered the lottery for the brand new truck and lost. This year, he told his friend David, he wasn't going to bother and enter.

"What kind of attitude is that?" David asked. He leaned closer and whispered, "What you need, pal, is faith. Look around and see if the good Lord sends you...

A man wakes up the morning of his birthday on July 7th.

He looks at his watch ‘7:07’. “Oh man, what are the odds that I wake up at 7:07 on 07/07 on the day of my birthday. Could be my lucky day!”

He drives to the grocery store and starts freaking out as the total at the cash shows 77.77$. “Oh my, this cannot be a coincidence”.

He then driv...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man goes to a mountain to talk to God...

He shouts on the top: "God, I asked you to let me win the lottery, but I lost!"

Thunder, wind and a cloud opens giving shinning rays of light, a voice roars: "I told you that I would put the winnning numbers on your wife's buttocks, all you had to do was take a look! The winning number was 77...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Rye Bread

A 77-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath.
His friend which was 70 years old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 77-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day.
It keeps your energy level high and yo...

What's better than 69?

77 cuz you get 8 more

(Shamelessly stolen from Redd Foxx)

I asked 100 immigrants what they found annoying.

77 of them didn't understand me.

I just found out that 23% of women are taking psyche medications.. I can't believe it...

That means 77% are walking around untreated.

How I feel on reddit...

A reporter went in to a prison to to report on conditions there. He was standing in the chow hall, next to a guard. All the prisoners were silently eating their grub.
All of a sudden one of the prisoners shouted “24!”. All of the other prisoners started to laugh.
A minute later another prisone...

If I had a dollar for every time Hillary played the Woman Card

...I'd have $0.77 cents.

Number 7

Mark dreams number 7.

He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.

He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.

Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.

Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.

The horse comes seventh.

I've never been a superstitious man, but...

Last night, in my dream, I saw before my eyes a giant number '7'. I woke up at 7:00 am that morning, but that didn't phase me, that's when I always wake up. After going through my routine I notice that I'm 7 minutes ahead of schedule. Peculiar, but hardly supernatural. I hopped in my car and noticed...

Old Man Richard Harrison: I want to live till I am 100

Death: Best I can do is 77

They have just announced the release of the new James Bond movie where the lead role is played by a woman.

It will be called “Double O .77 cents on the dollar”.

Why a woman doesn't make sense to a man...

Actually they make 77 cents to a man.

My Pastor told me this one and it really hit home...

Some older people at a nursing home are complaining about getting older. One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee"

Someone sitting next to him says, "My cataracts is so bad I can barely see my coffee."

Someone behind them then s...

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