62 Jokes

Unfortunately, the correct answer is Frankfort.

I told her "Choose one, I can't do both."

As the exam came to a close the doctor asked if Walter had any other questions about his health.

"Well, Doc, I've gained a bit more weight in the midsection, y'see, and, uh, when I look down I...well..I can't see the ol' captain anymore, if you know what I mean. What do you recommend?"
... read more

The European is visiting the United States for the first time: So how many cents in a dollar?

The American: 100, of course

The European: 100? Why not 62, or 37?

The American: 62? What are you talking about? It's 100. Of course, it is. It's a nice round number and easy to calcula... read more

What surprised me was finding it in the McDonald's cheeseburger I had for lunch.

I told them that I wasn't saying anything until I talked to my Lawyer.

The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and ... read more

She is still turning heads.

(Heard this one on the radio this morning.)

"Quick, who's scored the highest number of goals in football, ever?"

"Klose", replied the groggy husband.

"And how many episodes of Breaking Bad are there in total?"

"Huh? Wait, let me...55, no, 62, there's 62 total episodes" he replied.

"Who was that girl in that 'Saved ... read more

His widowed wife, after days of mourning, has to arrange the funeral service. She goes to the morgue and makes arrangements. During the detailing, she explains his last few wishes.

"He always told me, if he dies without disfigurement, he would like an open casket funeral so he would be rememb... read more

You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other.

Distraught over this unexpected development, his life-long friend Moshe sends him a message.

Moshe: "Abraham, you schmuck! How could you abandon your faith?"

Abraham: "New Testament, who dis?"

A Housewife selected three small tomatoes and was told by the grocer they were 75 cents.


"What!" she exclaimed, "75 cents for those small tomatoes? Well, you can just take them and you know what you can do with them!?

"I can't lady," replied the unhappy grocer, "there's a 95 cent ... read more

It's your sixty second birthday.

60 million are retired.

That leaves 240 million to do the work.

There are 95 million in school.

Which leaves 145 million to do the work.

Of this there are 22 million employed by the government.

Leaving 123 million to do the work.

61 million are disabled.
... read more

In 2020, German police announced that they had to fire shots at people a total of 62 times throughout 2019.

However, the U.S. Ambassador to Germany doubted these figures, as he did not believe that there have been only two traffic stops in the entire year in the whole of Germany.

In the middle of the night, he still can't sleep. Suddenly, he hears a prisoner yell out "18!" and everyone laughs.

Then a few minutes later, another prisoner yells "25!". Thunderous laughter, louder than the first.

Then another few minutes later, someone yells "62!". Silence.

P... read more

But there is a 99.62% chance you won't get it

My girlfriend is 9 I'm 62.

This is terrifying because that means that 62% of American women are walking around unmedicated!

He tells the bartender "get me a beer, get a beer for yourself, and a beer for everyone else in the bar."

The bartender smiles and does as he asked. Then the bartender told the man that it would be 62.50 for all the beers.

The man smiled at the bartender and said, "I ain't got no mon... read more

the Voyager space probe which is currently traveling at 62,137 km per hour away from the Earth into interstellar space.

Teacher: OK now, 61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69...what comes after 69?
Student: Mouthwash
That student was sent home

Hes in a panic, "doctor what can you do??!?"

"That dog is dead, theres nothing I can do."

"But doctor, surely theres something you can do!"

The doctor brings in a blood hound. The hound sniffs the dead dog and confirms. "Oh that dog is deffinitely dead"

"No doctor! There... read more

I know I'm not the only one who does this.

Some of these jokes ought to have their own subreddits.

A group of trapped miners is finally freed after 188 days trapped underground. The media is all over the story, and the miners are immediately put in front of bright lights, cameras and... read more

A man walks into a pub, sits at the bar and orders a drink. Over in the corner he notices a group of friends drinking and laughing.

He see one of the friends shout “13!” and then the rest of the group bursts out laughing. A bit later another in the group stifles laughter as he calls out “37!... read more

He said "Theres only room for 1, so who ever can can make me laugh gets in" the first guy said "I was in my apartment on the 62 floor of my building when I stepped on my sons skateboard I went over the railing and thankfully caught myself on the 32 floor railing then a guy walked over, I thought I w... read more

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in the bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks, "Where are you from?" I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds, "You don't say. I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another rou... read more

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lips... read more